


Hot for Teacher

by english5672



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2017-12-21 04:38:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 69,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/english5672/pseuds/english5672
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU, Everlark: Katniss attends a beginning of the year open house at District 12 High for her sister, Prim. When she gets there she realizes that Prim's new English teacher, Peeta Mellark, looks a little familiar. And kinda hot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!!! 
> 
> First, I have to give my thanks to my awesome beta, pookieh, because without her this story wouldn't have been able to happen and if it did, it would be a big pile of crap. Thanks also needs to go to alonglineofbread for encouraging me to write this piece and for just being a great friend in general. Thank you, soamazinghere, for pre-reading some of this, I appreciate your help and kind comments!
> 
> Just a general FYI: I've written most of this fic already, it's looking like it will be about thirteen chapters total. I plan to update every Monday and Thursday. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy, thank you so much for reading! :D

PROLOGUE

Today is May 8th.

My 22nd birthday.

As I sit in my University of Panem sweatshirt, surrounded by my friends and family as they sing "Happy Birthday" to me, I realize what a motley crew of people are gathered together here at my mother's house.

The loudest singer of them all, and not just because he's sitting next to me, is Finnick Odair. With his arm slung around me and practically shouting "dear Katniss" in my ear as he draws out each syllable, Finnick is easily the most enthusiastic member of the party. Without a doubt, he is the most attractive man I have ever laid eyes on. With his gorgeous bronze hair and green eyes, he makes anyone standing next to him look like a troll.

What's funny is that I initially couldn't stand him. We met on our first day at U of P in American History 101. Finnick was flirty and obnoxious and I watched as he charmed the pants off (literally in most cases) many of the girls in our class. One day though, just before Thanksgiving break, I was looking for a secluded spot to study on the sixth floor of the library when I heard crying. To my surprise, I found the gorgeous and stunning Finnick Odair by himself in a study unit sobbing his eyes out. I tried to ignore him, but it was hard to be irritated with someone who looked so pitiful. I walked over to him, sat down, and after a teary glance my way, Finnick flung his arms around me and with his head on my shoulder, and started crying with even greater vigor.

As it turned out, his grandmother Mags, the woman who had raised him after his father left and his mother passed away, had died. After his tears had dried, we talked for hours about the parents who abandoned him and his sweet grandmother. Before I knew it, I had invited him over for Thanksgiving dinner, thus cementing our friendship.

To Finnick's right is my childhood friend, Madge Undersee. Madge and I bonded at a young age, our mutual shyness causing us to band together in classes. Not to mention, our mothers were once best friends when they were younger, but drifted apart as they got older. Our eyes meet and she grins at me as she sings softly. She's sweet but sarcastic and I love her.

Next to Madge, and giving Finnick a run for his money as the most animated guest, is my younger sister, Prim. She's practically bouncing in her seat as she sings, almost as though it were her own celebration. I cannot believe that she'll be a senior in high school this year. She wants to attend U of P so she can stay close to me, but I have a feeling it's because she's afraid that it's too soon to leave our mother alone.

My mother. She brings the cake over and sets it in front of me with a smile that almost reaches her eyes. It's moments like this where I remember just how beautiful she is. Or was. Her slightly wavy blonde hair and blue eyes match Prim's to perfection, but while Prim is light itself, my mother is subdued and withdrawn.

My father died in a car accident when I was eleven and Prim was seven. Our mother immediately went into shock, but then swiftly retreated into a dark depression not long after. I tried to find ways to keep our family together with the meager life insurance money bestowed to us, but when the food we already had began to run out, I became desperate. As a last resort I went to woods near the Panem Lodge and Spa, located on the outskirts of Panem where my father had worked. The archery skills he taught me were put to good use, and exactly three months after my father's death, I came home with a squirrel for us to eat for dinner. Watching me skin the squirrel spurred my mother into action. While she had previously been a stay at home mom, she worked hard to renew her nurse's license and began working at Capitol Memorial Hospital. I think seeing her eleven year old daughter bringing home a squirrel to eat finally shamed her into pulling herself together. She's never been the same and part of me cannot forgive her for the way she shut Prim and me out when my father died.

Next to where my mother stands, Hazelle Hawthorne sits between her sons Rory and Vick, singly brightly with a smile on her face. Her husband, who was friends with my father and also worked with him, passed away in the same car accident. Next to Vick is the youngest Hawthorne, Posy, who's sitting on Gale's lap.

Gale. In a way, the accident that killed our fathers bonded us together; we both knew the hardships that came with taking responsibility for our single parents. Our friendship began in that hunting lodge, when we were just two children desperate to find hope in the place we loved to be with our fathers.

Even after my father's passing, I continued to practice my archery at the Lodge every Sunday, and when Gale got a job there we began to see each other more frequently. Over time, a deep friendship took root and I spent most of my afternoons with Gale in those woods. Sometimes I would take Prim over to his house after so all of us kids could spend time together. There is no one in the world who understands the way I truly think and operate better than Gale Hawthorne.

The song ends and I hear Gale say, "Make a wish, Catnip." With a smile, I blow out the candles and everyone claps. As my mother takes the cake away, Finnick leans back and grins.

"Well then, old lady, what did you wish for this year?"

"Finnick, you know she can't tell us what she wished for," Prim chides playfully.

"Well, I think she should have wished for a boyfriend," he drawls in reply.

A round of laughter is had at my expense, but then thankfully Madge comes to my rescue. "Come now, don't tease poor Katniss. I'm sure there are plenty of boys interested in her…that is, until she scares them away."

Thanks, Madge. Not.

I feel the need the to defend myself when the laughter finally dies down "So I'm not the friendliest person around, but I managed to fool all of you into liking me, that has to count for something," I retort with a scowl.

"Not me, I'm just here for your mother's outstanding cooking," Finnick says with a wink in my mother's direction. She blushes and hands him a slice of cake that he happily dives into.

"Oh God, Finnick, I know you flirt with anything in a skirt, but could you please spare my mother?"

After the party winds down and my friends take their leave, I plop down onto the couch in the living room, far too full of my birthday dinner and cake. My mother enters the room and sits down in the chair across from me. "You always eat as if you'll never see food again," she chuckles, "then you always regret your full stomach later."

I swallow back a smart-ass comment about how I almost did get to the point where I thought I'd never see food again; back when she was catatonic and useless in her bed. Instead I just smile back at her gratefully and say,"Thank you for the birthday cake and for inviting everyone over."

She smiles back at me softly. "Well, it is your last birthday at home. It needed to be special."

Right. The move.

In an effort to save money and stay close to my mother and Prim, I've spent the last four years of college living at home and commuting to school. Earlier in the school year, I realized that my Environmental Science degree was going to require an additional fifth year. I decided to give myself a last chance at "the real college experience" and move into an apartment on-campus with Madge and Finnick at the start of the new school year.

I give her a tight smile. "It's just across town, so I can still come home for weekends whenever I want."

"I know, but soon you'll be busy with your friends and Prim will spend all her time hanging around your place. My girls are growing up and change won't relent. It'll just be different, that's all."

"Everything will be okay, mom." I wait a beat, but she doesn't reply. "Well, I think I'll head to bed. Thanks, again."

"Good night, love."

I stand up and make my way to my room, eager to leave the awkwardness with my mother downstairs. After I change into my pajamas, I head to the bathroom to quickly brush my teeth. The light's already on and I see Prim with her headphones on as she washes her face with some weird green goo I've never seen before.

"You look like moss," I say with a slight amount of disgust.

Prim bobs her head around for a few more seconds until she finally notices me and takes a headphone out. "Huh?"

"You look like moss? In the woods?"

She rolls her eyes then bumps her hip into mine. "Rude!" she jokes.

I roll my eyes back at her and start to brush my teeth. Prim looks thoughtful for a moment and then turns to me. "You know, I think Finnick was on the right track earlier."

I spit out some of the toothpaste foam into the sink. "You mean his theories about 'Seinfeld'? Give it up, Prim. That show's been over for a while now. You both watch too much TV. "

"No, you goof, about getting a boyfriend." I stare at her incredulously through our reflections in the mirror "Don't look at me like that! It really wouldn't kill you to be nice to strangers."

I spit out the rest of the toothpaste into the sink and rinse my mouth with water. "Prim, that sounds like the kidnappers motto. That's how girls end up dead."

"Haha," she deadpans. "I'm serious! You put up such a front and it really is unnecessary. The next time a cute guy looks at you, just think about being nice to him instead of throwing your hair over your shoulder and flipping him off."

"That guy was our waiter and he was looking down my shirt!" I huff angrily.

"Okay, bad example. My point is, not all guys are creepy weirdos—"

"—who spit in my drink when I'm not looking?" I interject.

Prim giggles. "Well, he wanted to swap spit with you somehow!"

I roll my eyes and put my toothbrush away. Finished with the conversation, I turn on my heel to leave the bathroom.

"Oh, come on, Katniss, this could be your year for love!"

I glance back to find her making kissy faces at me in the mirror and that's all it takes for me to slam the door behind me.

My year for love?

Yeah, right.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I cannot thank you all enough for the outpouring of support I've gotten so far, this means so much to me! Thank you, pookieh, for being a fantastic reader. Thank you, soamazinghere, for pre-reading. I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Visit me on tumblr at english1823.

Chapter 1

Four Months Later

"Oh my god, you son of a bitch! Can you drive any slower?"

Shit, I'm late.

This morning started off fine, I was even early to my shift at the Lodge. I worked the front desk until around three, followed by a couple of archery lessons. As soon as I turned sixteen I begged Gale, who already had a job working as a caddy on the golf course, to find me an in at Panem. The owner, Ann Marie Paylor, remembered my father and decided to try me out at the front desk. A couple months later she saw me practicing on the archery range during my lunch break, and offered to let me help teach lessons. A year later I became the Primary Archery Instructor and haven't seen the front desk since. Most of the time I love my job, and I thought today would be pretty easy, considering I only had one lesson scheduled. But of course, the kid I had to teach couldn't hit any of the targets I posted, so I was stuck running around like a mad woman retrieving his scattered arrows. The day I decided to make an effort with my hair and makeup and I'm stuck with the kid who couldn't find water in an ocean. My naturally wavy hair that I tried to enhance with the curling iron is now frizzy and out of control. I used to have eyeliner and mascara on, but I think my sweat took care of that one. Don't even get me started on the zit on my chin.

"MOVE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

I thought I had time to grab a quick coffee and maybe if I hadn't chosen the Coffee Bean next to the construction zone, I would have been fine. Now I'll be rushing into the open house at District Twelve High School looking like a hot mess.

Prim's senior year of high school started two weeks ago. Tonight is the annual open house where parents can come and meet their children's teachers and listen to boring syllabi discussions then head to the cafeteria for bad coffee and stale cookies. My mother is working the late shift at the hospital again and I wanted to make sure that Prim had someone there for her teachers to meet. They'll probably see me more than my mother this year anyway, since I'm the one who usually helps Prim with her homework and makes sure she has everything she needs for her classes. I know my mother cares about Prim and her studies, but her shifts at the hospital make it difficult for her to make sure Prim has everything together, which is why I'm usually the one who ends up at her open houses and parent teacher conferences.

Finally, I reach the school and instead of wasting my time trying to find a parking spot in the school's lot, I decide to park about a block away. "Screw it," I mutter and kick off my heels before I walk to Prim's first class. I'll just put them back on before I run into anyone that might see me walking around barefoot.

Lucky for me, Prim's classes are located relatively close together. I sit through five syllabus presentations, each with their own level of false enthusiasm. Finally, I enter her last class, sixth period English, and notice that I'm one of the first to arrive. I take a seat in the back of the class, just like I used to when I was a student at D12 high.

God, I hope she doesn't have Mr. Heavensbee. He was my English teacher from junior year who liked to meddle in other people's business, which was unfortunate because he was also very loud and lacked tact.

Suddenly, there's a loud clap on my back accompanied by a chorus of laughter. Well, I'll be damned.

"Sweetheart! Aren't you a little old to be in here or are you just one of those slow kids who got held back?"

Haymitch Abernathy. He was my English teacher during my senior year of high school. I haven't see him for a while, since my 21st birthday, party at Rooba's Pub. It's a pretty laidback place and while I like Rooba, my friends and I usually end up at the trendier bars near school. Plus, it felt a little strange to be throwing back shots a couple booths away from my old teacher.

"Oh, Haymitch, it's so great to see you," I deadpan, but he knows I'm only kidding. I didn't even consider that Haymitch might be Prim's teacher or even bothered asking her. I haven't been able to see much of her since started school; she's been too busy with parties and club kickoffs.

"Hardee har har. Well, there are familiar faces all around tonight!" He grins before he turns and shouts across the room. "Hey, Blondie! Look what the cat dragged in." Still grinning, he turns his attention back to me. "Hey Sweetheart, come meet my student teacher for the year."

Oh no, not him.

Peeta Mellark.

I suddenly flash back eleven years earlier to my father's funeral. I was standing next to my father's casket, holding Prim's tiny hand in mine while she sniffled. My mother was sitting off to the side, staring longingly at the casket as if simply wishing would somehow bring my father back.

As I stood there, trying to figure out what would become of my family, he walked up to me. Peeta was about half a foot shorter than me, not having hit his growth spurt yet and his cheeks still pudgy with baby fat. He wordlessly handed me a bouquet of dandelions that he'd likely picked from someone's yard.

"I wish you weren't sad."

You and me both, kid. I watched him walk away and then turned to my sister. For the first time in a week, Prim smiled her sweet smile that was missing a couple of teeth and I found myself smiling back. Somehow, in that moment, I thought that if we could just find a way to smile again, that things would be okay. That maybe, just maybe, there was hope for us to be happy again.

I never thanked him. When I returned to school the next week, we went back to not talking to one another. Eventually graduation rolled around and while I knew we were both enrolled at U of P, we've never run into each other on that huge campus. He must be studying something lame, like arts or humanities, because I've never seen him in the biology department where I usually hang out.

But apparently now's the time to talk. Peeta smiles and walks over to join us where Haymitch and I are standing.

"Hi, Katniss."

"Peeta," I offer with a hesitant smile.

"Really lights up a room, doesn't she?" Haymitch says with a smirk

I roll my eyes as I turn to Haymitch. "Don't you have some mingling to do? Or a presentation? Or something that's not right next to me?" I'm irritated and blushing, but Peeta laughs at my joke.

"Fine, fine, I know when I'm not wanted," he chortles and walks off.

Shit. In my haste to get rid of Haymitch and his embarrassing comments, I failed to think this through. Now Peeta and I are next to each other and now that we've been left alone together I suddenly feel somewhat obligated to talk to him. As Peeta opens his mouth to say something, I spit out the first thing that pops into my head. "Aren't you a little young to be a teacher? We were in the same grade growing up so I know you're only twenty-two."

I cringe. Awesome, Katniss.

Peeta blushes and offers a modest smile. "Yeah, you're right, I'm only twenty-two. I graduated high school with a few AP credits which helped me get ahead on units. I'm majoring in English Literature and Education. U of P has a pretty cool Education program where you can stay for a fifth year and get your teaching credential with your Bachelor's degree. Since my units for my English degree are finished, this year I can really focus on my student teaching hours and then I'll be able to graduate in June. This semester I'll mostly observe Haymitch and help with activities and grading, but second semester he said I can teach a few of the classes."

Way to raise the bar, Peeta. Here I am, a fifth year senior because I'm a little shit who chose a major that's taking way too long and he's adding a teaching credential to his already full load of classes since he's freaking double majoring.

"Wow," I reply casually, "well that's pretty cool." There's a beat. "So, what exactly does a student teacher actually do?"

Peeta grins. "Well, at first I'll only be around to observe Haymitch teach, and help out with activities in class and grading papers. Later I'll start teaching lessons and activities, and eventually I'll teach entire lessons by myself."

"Will Haymitch be there to watch you teach?" I'm trying to sound interested, but mostly I'm trying to figure out a nice way to ask Peeta why someone with no college degree was about to try and help my sister pass her AP English Literature class.

"Oh, absolutely. I'll be using his lesson plans and he'll help me develop my own as well. We'll have weekly meetings to go over everything I teach, so the students will be fully prepared for their AP examinations."

It sounds like some sort of rehearsed speech, but as I look around I notice several parents looking at us, listening in to our conversation, and know that they were listening to Peeta's little spiel.

"Oh, well, that's good," I reply lamely, not knowing what else to say.

Before Peeta has a chance to respond, Haymitch stands at the front of the room and begins to talk about the syllabus for AP English Literature. Peeta flashes me a lopsided grin and walks to the front of the room when he's introduced.

Now that he's standing at the front of the room, I finally allow myself to get a good look at him. He's definitely not eleven anymore. Now I'm the one who's half a foot shorter than the other, and he for sure doesn't have any baby fat left on him. The sleeves of his blue and orange plaid shirt are rolled up to his elbows and his arms gesture as he talks excitedly about the year to come and how exciting and wonderful literature is, or whatever. While he's always been stocky, he's not overly muscular, just strong from years of wrestling and hauling bags of flour around his family's bakery. His blue eyes are bright and sparkling with passion.

Damn, Prim's new teacher is hot.

As soon as Haymitch's presentation ends, he's swarmed by obsessed parents who want to make sure their kids pass the AP test and get into college. The test isn't until May, people! Unfortunately, they make it nearly impossible for me to reach the door so I can make a quiet getaway. I'm wedged between desks and bookshelves when Peeta finds me.

"Trying to escape?"

"Trying being the operative word."

"Yeah, it's a bit of a mad house in here," Peeta agrees. "So, you're going to take a fifth year at U of P?"

I nod. "Yeah, I took too long figuring out my major, so now I've got another rip roaring year ahead of me. It shouldn't be too bad though, I just moved into Victor's Village Housing with two of my friends."

Peeta's face lights up. "You'll be in Victor's Village? On campus? That's really cool, I live in Capitol Housing with my two room mates. "

"Oh, yeah? Anyone I might know?"

"Um…Johanna Mason and Annie Cresta? Capitol kind of forced us together, but we've actually managed to bond and now they're my closest friends. Funny how that happens, right?"

The swarm of parents begins to thin and I see an opening to leave. "Yeah, life's funny like that." I smile politely and wait a beat. "Well, I guess I'll see you later, Peeta."

He looks like he wants to say something else, but the words die in his throat when Haymitch calls out his name and asks him to come over for a minute. Peeta gives me a small smile and says, "I'll being seeing you."

God, I hope not.

I scamper out of the classroom and kick off my heels again as I hurry to my car and head home. Why in the world would Peeta Mellark want to "see me around"? I was barely polite at best. He seemed so cheerful and happy to see me, but I don't see why. We barely spoke a word to each other in the thirteen years we spent in school together. I mean, yeah, he's attractive, but I'm a little busy right now, the last thing I need this year is a distraction. I need to focus on finishing my degree and then maybe applying to graduate school or an internship after. Besides, I have plenty of friends, I don't need any more.

I don't need Peeta.

The image of him in that blue and orange plaid shirt pops into my head and I bite my lip.

Shit.

It's been about a week and a half since my run in with Peeta and I've had to restrain myself from thinking about how he filled out that stupid plaid shirt and his creepy 'I'll be seeing you' remark. Because let's face it, he looked good. But Peeta always looked good, even in high school. Everyone else had acne and strange B.O., but not Peeta, not even after a wrestling meet.

Ugh. Now I'm thinking about him at his old wrestling meets. Great. I only ever went to those because Madge made me, something about me needing to have more school spirit, but I know she just wanted to watch boys in spandex roll around on mats. Peeta just so happened to be one of those boys. Okay, I need to stop thinking about our conversation. I'm sure he's already forgotten all about my embarrassing attempts at small talk.

I study myself in the bathroom mirror after I apply my makeup. You know what? I don't look too bad. Granted that tonight is just Prim's beginning of the year showcase for theatre, I clean up pretty well. I give myself another once over. My hair is loose from being in a braid all day and half of it is pinned up out of my face. Since I didn't have to work today, I actually had time to make an effort with my makeup, instead of the quick mascara-eyeliner-foundation regimen I usually follow. I smooth down my pink tank top, push in the pockets of my jeans, and grab my flats as I head to the front door of the apartment. As I attempt to locate my keys, Madge comes out of the kitchen holding a bowl of cereal.

"Whoops," she says as she accidentally splashes milk on the carpet.

"Geez, Madge, we've only lived here for three weeks! Do you think you could try and not destroy the place right away?" I ask scold her teasingly.

"Ha, ha," she says with a mouth full of cereal. She swallows before she continues, "You look pretty. Where are you headed off to this Saturday night? Hot date?" she asks as she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

I find my keys on the coffee table hidden under a pile of Finnick's magazines. Come on, people, it's been three weeks!

"Aha!" I shout as I hold up my keys to Madge "Oh, thank you! And yeah, Prim has a theatre showcase tonight at the high school. It's something the theatre department does every year to kick start the year. Usually it's just some random monologues or little scenes that the upperclassmen do to get people interested in joining."

"That sounds delightfully dreadful," Madge says with a smile. "You must be a pretty good sister to sit through that. I'm sure it has nothing to do with Mr. Mellark being there, huh?" she asks with raised eyebrows.

I roll my eyes. "All I said was that I ran into him the other day, and now you're making me regret that I even mentioned it. I'm going to see Prim, that's all. Besides, he probably won't be there anyway."

"Uh huh," she says with a smirk. I pass by Madge on my way to open the door and she swats me on the butt with her free hand and shouts, "Go get 'em, tiger!"

I turn and scowl at her but she giggles and practically shoves me out the door.

Two hours later and Madge's prediction about the showcase being "delightfully dreadful" is spot on. Prim does well in the scene she prepared with her friend, but for the most part, the performances are pretty awful.

When the students take their final bows, I find myself clapping especially loud. I'm finding Prim after for a quick congratulations and then I am out of here. I exit quietly out the back and wait in the lobby for Prim when I hear a familiar voice

"Katniss! I don't see you for four years and now I see you twice in one week. What gives?"

I scrunch my nose and turn around to find Peeta Mellark grinning at me.

"Um, dumb luck I guess," I offer weakly.

He laughs. "I saw Prim's name in the program and figured you'd be here. Some of my students, Prim included, asked me to come 'support the arts,' so here I am. Glad to see a friendly face though, I'm still getting to know all the students and faculty."

I raise my eyebrows in disbelief. I had no idea any part of my face was friendly. "Well, that's cool that you're so supportive of your students, I-"

I'm cut off by Prim when she comes bounding up to me to give me a hug. "Katniss! Thank you for coming!" She releases me and grins when she sees Peeta. "Mr. Mellark! I didn't think you'd actually come," she beams at him.

Peeta blushes and says with a wink, "Of course I came! I have to support my favorite students, don't I?"

"Well, I'm glad you came!" Prim says before she turns to me. "Some of the other kids are going to Denny's to hang out for a bit and grab something to eat. I know we were going to get something together, but do you mind if I take a rain check?"

I pretend to pout and even attempt a fake sob before Prim whines. "Katniss, you know I can't say no to the pout!" Peeta looks back and forth between us with amusement in his eyes. I guess he's never really seen me joke around before since he's probably only used to my trademark scowl.

"Go have fun with your friends, Prim," I finally answer. "I think Madge and Finnick said something about wanting a roommate movie night tonight anyway."

Prim smiles gratefully at me. "You're the best! How about we have brunch together tomorrow? Mom doesn't work on Sundays so we can have some family time."

"Sounds good. Text me when you wake up tomorrow." I give her a kiss on the cheek. "Bye, Primmy. Be safe, have fun, and make good choices!"

Prim giggles and rolls her eyes before she says her goodbyes and a last thank you to Peeta before she runs to catch up with her friends.

Peeta. I almost forgot he was standing there.

"It was good seeing you again, Peeta. Have a good night." I start to walk away but he grabs my arm.

"Wait! You know, Welcome Week at U of P is next week, are you going to any of the events?"

Normally I stay clear of the crowded Welcome Week festivities, but Finnick made me promise that I would go to the big barbeque on Saturday. "I think I'll be at the barbeque next Saturday. My roommate made me promise I'd go with him when I was drunk last weekend." I make a face to show my disapproval.

Peeta grins. "Maybe you'd want to stop by and say hi to me and my friends? We usually camp out next to that big tree in the quad. I think the Dumbledore's Army Club calls it the Whomping Willow? That is, if you're not too busy."

Ugh. Like I'm really going to hang out with Peeta and his peppy friends? Finnick is more than enough for me.

"Um…well…maybe. I'll have to see what my friends want to do," I stammer as I try to slowly back away.

Peeta's smile falters a bit. "Well, something to think about. See you around, Katniss."

I smile and turn to walk away without another word.

Well, now I know to avoid the Whomping Willow next Saturday.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I hope you all enjoy this chapter of HFT, there's quite a bit of Katniss/Peeta action :). A huge thank you to my beta, pookieh. She is wonderful, incredibly helpful, and super talented, and I'm so glad that I get to work with her. Thank you, soamazinghere, for pre-reading and being so supportive and just generally awesome.
> 
> Side note: I know Chapter 1 was a little short, but from here on out the chapters will be about this length. I just needed to get my sea legs :).
> 
> Come say hi to me on tumblr, I'm english1823.

CHAPTER 2

I’ve just sat down on my bed with my computer, ready to watch a movie when my closet door swings open and someone bursts out screaming. 

“AAAAUUUUURRRRGGGHHH!!!” 

“Damn you, Finnick! How long were you in there?” I screech at him once my heart rate slows to a non-deadly pace. My face pales with sudden realization. “Did you watch me change?” 

“Sadly, I didn’t get to see you change,” he laments as he flops onto my bed next to me. “I ran in your closet when I heard your key in the lock, so not too long. Whatcha watching? More Friends reruns? God, Katniss, we’ve got to get you laid.”

I scowl and shove him, but he manages to grab hold onto my comforter so he doesn’t fall off the bed. 

“No, I’m not watching Friends. Don’t try to change the subject, you know I hate practical jokes, Finn!”

“Ah yes, I vaguely remember you getting a teensy bit mad at the April Fool’s Day joke that Prim and I pulled last year.”

Ugh, last year. They will never let me forget it. Last year on April Fool’s, I came home to find Prim and Finnick waiting for me in the living room. They sat me down and with straight faces explained that they were madly in love and then Finnick grabbed Prim and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. I definitely was not expecting such a passionate embrace, and apparently neither did Prim, as she flailed her arms around like a windmill and squealed. I shoved Finnick off of her and kicked him in the groin but just as I reeled my arm back to punch him, Prim stepped in front of me and shouted, “No, Katniss! April Fools, April Fools!” All the while, Finnick lay wheezing on the ground, his hand clutched protectively at his crotch.

Finnick rubs his chin thoughtfully at the memory and says, “Yeah, you were a little violent, but it turned out okay. One of my funniest jokes to date.”

I roll my eyes. “Please, you fell to the ground and cried for half an hour until my mother came home and made you a bowl of ice cream.”

Finnick leans back with his head in his hand and muses, “Yeah, you’ve got a mean kick to you. However, reminiscing over the happy memory about the day you made sure I’ll never be able to reproduce isn’t what I originally wanted to talk to you about.”

I raise my eyebrows and motion for him to continue.

He grins and continues, “I wanted to talk about our plans for the barbeque tomorrow. You remember my friend, Annie? The one I went to high school with? She invited us to stop by and hang out with her friends.” 

“Ooh, time to meet the friends, huh? This must be getting serious,” I rib.

Truthfully, I’m just waiting for Finnick to get his head out of his ass already and date Annie. They went to District 4 High School together, but didn’t really become friends until they had a Marine Biology class together last year. She’s hung out with Madge, Finnick, and me several times before and was even nice enough to invite me to a few parties at her place, although I’ve never gone to one. Finnick spends quite a bit of his free time with her, but insists that it’s nothing but a platonic relationship between them.

“Will you shut up about that?” Finnick frowns. “Anyways, are you cool with meeting up with her?”

“If it gets you out of my hair and lets me watch Silence of the Lambs by myself, then sure, that’s fine with me.”

Finnick looks up at me from his spot and grins while he props himself up on his elbow. “Well come on, then. Start the movie!”

I guess he missed the “by myself” part, but Finnick’s innocent grin makes it hard for me to say no.

“Fine, you can watch the movie with me, but if you scream like a girl and try to cling onto me during scary parts you’re out of here!”

He rolls his eyes. “Puh-lease. Just put the movie in already, Everdeen.”  
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Shut up, Katniss! I didn’t cry!”

Madge and I are howling with laughter as Finnick, Madge, and I approach the Welcome Week Barbeque on campus. 

“Yes, you did, Finnick, you did!” I say laughingly. “As soon as Clarice found that head in Lector’s storage shed, you were sobbing and holding onto me for dear life!”

“I was just doing that so you wouldn’t feel so bad for being scared. It’s called acting, Katniss.”

Madge pipes in, “Then why did you insist on sleeping in my bed next to me?” I turn to Madge with wide and confused eyes. “It was 2:30 in the morning when Finnick walked in clutching a pillow to his chest and all he said was, ‘Please don’t tell Katniss.’ He curled up into the fetal position next to me and fell asleep.” 

I’m bent over with laughter and I hear Finnick sigh in exasperation. “Apparently there are no secrets in our house!”

We find the line for food and about thirty minutes later are loaded up with hot dogs, potato salad, fruit salad, and drinks. We’re circling the quad, looking for a place to sit when we hear a voice call out, “Finn! Over here, we’ve saved you a spot!” I look up to see Annie standing in front of a large tree waving us over, and next to her is… oh, no. 

Sitting on the ground next to Annie is Peeta and a girl with short brown hair. If I had a free hand right now I’d be face palming my forehead. Duh, Katniss, you’re standing in front of the Whomping Willow; everyone and their brother knows about this tree on campus.

Finnick smiles widely and waves back. “Come on, ladies, let’s go!”

We walk to where Annie and Peeta are seated and join them on the grass. Annie introduces the other girl, Johanna Mason, I remember Peeta mentioning that he lived with Annie and a girl named Johanna. I end up sitting between Peeta and Madge.

Peeta turns to me. “So, fancy seeing you here, huh?”

I swallow a bite of potato salad and wipe my mouth before answering, “I have to admit, I remember you saying that you lived with a girl named Annie, but I didn’t even think that it would be Annie Cresta. She and Finnick have been friends for a while now. Small world.”

“Small world indeed.” He grins with a mouth full of hot dog. “So, Katniss, what kinds of music do you like to listen to?”

I take a bite of my fruit salad as I consider my answer. When I swallow I say, “Mmm, I mostly like alternative music. Right now I’m really into Of Monsters and Men, and Alexi Murdoch.”

Peeta’s face lights up. “Oh, tell me you love The Lumineers. I’ve been listening to their album on repeat ever since it came out.” 

“Meh.” I shrug my shoulders. “I like their song ‘Ho Hey,’ but other than that, I find them a little… boring.”

He gasps. “No! What about “Stubborn Love”? You’ve got to like that one.”

I shrug. “Truthfully, I listened to their album on YouTube and I got a little bored. It’s an unpopular opinion, I guess.” 

“Well, hopefully you’ll make up for your unfortunate taste in music in other ways.”

Peeta and I continue to discuss music for a while and he’s surprisingly easy to talk to. I even like spending time with Annie and Johanna, who keeps trying to one up Finnick in a contest of who can tell the dirtiest joke.

Johanna has just told a particularly dirty one involving a man and some Cheetos, when Peeta leans over. “So, what’s your first impression of Johanna? Has she scared you off yet?”

I shake my head and laugh. “You’re forgetting that I live with Finnick. But with all of her stories about her sexual escapades, Johanna must be a pretty interesting roommate to have.”

Peeta grimaces. “The walls in our apartment are way too thin. I’ve become way too accustomed to the sounds of her moans and screams.” 

“Ugh, that’s way more than I needed to know,” I say with a laugh.

We share a smile and I find myself taking a closer look at Peeta. His whole face lights up when he smiles and his eyes crinkle at the edges. His blonde hair is getting a little long, and when he laughs, it shakes in motion with his shoulders. I decide that I like it when Peeta smiles.

Suddenly his eyes widen and he looks at his watch. “Damn,” he groans. “I told my family I’d be over for dinner in an hour. Sorry, guys, but I gotta go!”

The group says a quick goodbye to Peeta and returns to their conversation. And I’m surprised to find that I’m disappointed that he’s leaving so soon. He turns to me and says, “It was fun talking to you, Katniss. I’m glad we were all able to meet up.”

“I am too. I’ll see you later,” I respond with a small smile.

He returns my smile. “I’ll be seeing you,” he replies and then gets up, waves goodbye to everyone, and leaves.

I’m the only one who watches him go.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Later on that night, my friends Cinna and Portia invite me out for drinks at The Hob. I met them in the Art 200 class I took while I was getting my general education classes out of the way. Both are fashion design majors who just started their internships at Capitol Couture. They are usually balls deep in fabric and sewing machines, so I don’t get to see them as often as I would like.

I head over to the bar in search of seats for the three of us and luckily find three unoccupied stools next to a guy hunched over the bar. “Excuse me, are these seats taken?”

“Sweetheart!” Haymitch looks up with a smirk. “Fancy seeing you here! And in a dress, no less!” 

I scowl and look down at my outfit apprehensively. For a while now, Prim has been insisting I buy more feminine clothing, so as a yay-last-first-day-of-school gift, she bought me a simple black jersey dress with little white flowers. The front is low cut, which I initially protested, but Prim insisted it would go perfect with my black hunting boots, so I relented. Prim always gets her way.

“Haymitch, I just assumed you were a passed out homeless man, but go figure!”

He guffaws and slaps me on the back as I sit down and place my purse on the bar. “I always knew I liked you, Sweetheart, you’ve got spunk.”

“Good to know why you like me, because I have no idea why I even talk to you.”

I give him a half smile and order a gin and tonic when the bartender comes over. As I take my first sip, I get a text from Cinna. 

Hey girl, the boss just told Portia and me that we have to stay late tonight. We probably won’t get out until past midnight ☹ Rain check?

“Is that your lover?” Haymitch says with a wink.

I blush and snort in my drink. “Uh no, it was my friends cancelling on me. I guess I’ll just finish my drink and head out. So, how’s the new school year going so far?”

Haymitch rolls his eyes. “Fine. Blondie has kept me on a short leash though. I swear, that kid texts me five times a day about lesson plans. He’s driving me nuts.”

“Peeta’s new and he’s probably just really enthusiastic about teaching.”

Haymitch snorts. “That guy’s more cheerful than Santa Claus at Disneyland. Getting laid.”

I laugh shake my head. “Yeah, but Peeta’s a really good guy, I’m sure you’ll have a great year with him.”

“Did Katniss Everdeen just compliment me?”

My eyes widen and I swivel around in my seat to find Peeta standing next to me in a casual tee shirt and jeans. 

Haymitch laughs at my expression and turns to Peeta. “Well, Sweetheart here was just singing your praises, telling me about how wonderful you are and how the sun seems to shine out your ass every damn morning.”

Peeta looks at me with his eyebrows raised and a half smile stretched across his face.

“Don’t mind him…Haymitch is…drunk…” I stutter before Haymitch starts to howl with laughter. “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be at your parents’ house?”

Peeta makes a face. “I was there earlier, but figured I stop by for a beer. My advisor’s been driving me insane this week,” he says with a wink and smiles at Haymitch, who rolls his eyes yet again. “Well, if you truly were ‘singing my praises’, then please don’t let me interrupt. Although, more likely than not, I’m afraid your praises may be exaggerated.”

I know Peeta is just being modest, but all of a sudden I remember being a little girl in Mellark’s Bakery. His father used to sneak me free cookies when we visited and I remember when I heard a crash in the back followed by an exasperated, “Dammit, Peeta, why can’t you do anything right? Why do I even bother having you help out back here when you always mess everything up?” The obviously female voice had to be his mother and the way she so easily dismissed and insulted her son just rubbed me the wrong way.

“Please, you know you’re talented,” I say with a frown. “Haymitch, you’ve seen his paintings that are still displayed all over the high school, right? He even has some exhibited in the art department at U of P. I saw them when I went to an art show with my roommate. They’re incredible.”

Peeta looks at me quizzically. “Well, while he’s at the high school, he can go see that big science award of yours that’s still sitting in the trophy case in administration.”

“Yeah, right next to all of your wrestling trophies. I know for a fact that you were one of the highest ranked in the state when we were in school. During our junior year, only your brother Rye was able to beat you.”

“Please, if it wasn’t for Rye, I wouldn’t have even gotten into wrestling to begin with,” he replies with a small hint of annoyance. “Besides, if Haymitch really wants to be impressed, all he has to do is head down to the Lodge and watch you practice your archery. I heard it earned you a scholarship.”

“Oh yeah? Then he can head over to Mellark’s Bakery and buy one of your cakes, since you’re such a fantastic baker,” I snap back, determined to win.

“Maybe on the ride over he can listen to one of the tracks you secretly recorded with Madge.” He turns to Haymitch. “Her friend is a music major at U of P and Katniss recorded a couple songs with her for one of Madge’s finals. You should hear it, she’s incredible.”

I blanch. No one was supposed to know about that. Suddenly our lighthearted arguing has hit a nerve with me and now I’m a little ticked off. I only recorded those songs to help Madge with her music final last spring; it wasn’t supposed to be a big deal. “What the hell, Peeta! How did you even find out about that?” I hiss.

Peeta looks at me with wide eyes, realizing he just dropped my secret and closes his mouth. He nervously shuffles his feet unable to meet my eyes. “I heard you two practicing one day when I was walking by the music department. I only stayed and listened for a couple of minutes,” he mumbles. 

“What? God, Peeta, that wasn’t even a big deal, why do you even care about that?”

“Why do you still care about my paintings?” 

We’ve reached a stalemate. We stand there, staring at each other stiffly for God only knows how long. 

Haymitch looks back and forth between us, remaining quiet for entirely too long before he bursts into his loudest chorus of laughter yet. Wiping tears from his eyes, he chokes out, “Well, not that it wasn’t fun watching you two go at, but I think I’ll get going now. You can cut the sexual tension in here with a knife.” He grabs his things and starts to head out. “Damn kids,” he mutters under his breath.

Peeta runs an aggravated hand through his hair. “Look, I didn’t mean for things to get heated. It’s just… you really are an impressive person. I’m a little intimidated by you.”

Huh? 

He must read the confusion written all over my face. “Come on, Katniss. Your father died when you were only eleven and you somehow managed to hold your family together. You’ve practically raised Prim on your own, you’re majoring in one of the hardest disciplines at U of P, so…you’re pretty badass.”

I stare at him blankly for a couple seconds as his words sink in. “But, Peeta,” I sputter out, “why in God’s name would you be impressed by me? You’re about to become a credentialed teacher at the age of twenty-freaking-two, you excel at everything you do, and…you’re just a good person, Peeta.”

He gives me a half grin. “Let’s not argue anymore. Agree to disagree?” 

I find myself smiling back at him. 

“You know, for two people who have barely spoken, we sure do seem to know a lot about each other,” Peeta remarks.

I blush. “I guess we’ve kept track of each other.”

“I guess so.” 

It’s funny; it never occurred to me before how much I know about Peeta Mellark. Or I guess, how much he knows about me. 

At this point I’m not sure if I should stay or leave. Peeta raises his eyebrows at me, as if he’s expecting me to say something. I think I’ve said more than enough for one night, so I flash Peeta a small smile as I pick up my bag and begin to stand out of my seat. I pause when I feel Peeta’s hand on my arm. 

“I heard you say before that you were on your way out, but could I maybe convince you to stay for a few beers? First round is on me.”

He gives me the most heart-melting grin; it’s what a puppy would look like if it could grin. I put my bag down and settle back into my seat.

“Sounds good to me. Heineken?”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

From then on, a friendship forms between Peeta and I. It doesn’t feel like we’ve only been friends for a month. While I knew so much about Peeta’s likes and talents, until now there was no way for me to know what truly makes up Peeta Mellark. Like the way he gestures wildly and so fully, as if he can feel the things that he’s saying. That he loves tea, but will never take it with sugar, no matter what kind it is. How he double knots his shoelaces like a five year old.

Soon we fall into a comfortable routine of hanging out a couple times a week. Sometimes we go for runs together. Once, to my surprise, he booked an archery lesson with me at the Lodge. It was a complete disaster.

“God, Peeta, it’s not that hard! Keep your left arm straight!”

He huffs and breaks his posture, obviously frustrated. “Katniss, how are you paid to teach people to do this? It’s been almost an hour and I still can’t hit the target!”

I scowl at him. “Geez, okay, one more time then.” I walk up behind him and mirror his stance. “Left arm up…good. Now hold your right arm like this.” I put my hand on his bicep as I move it into place. The heat radiating off of him his unmistakable. I can feel his heavy breathing as I press my torso into his back and I stretch my left arm to mirror his. I tilt my head up so I can speak into his ear. “Deep breath, hold still… now nock the arrow into place, and when it feels right, let go.” 

The arrow releases and hits the target. It’s not a bull’s-eye, but he hit the target regardless. Neither of us moves for a second; I’m too caught up in how his arms feel under my hands. It’s inappropriate, I realize, and cough as I take a step back. Friends don’t usually lean on their friend’s backs so they can feel the muscles under their shirts. I’m breathing heavily as I look up to see the astonished look on his face.

“That was fantastic, Peeta! Awesome job!”

He blushes. “A compliment? From Katniss Everdeen?”

I go to smack his shoulder playfully, but with his free arm he catches me off guard and pulls me into a quick hug. “Thank you, Katniss.” 

He holds onto me tightly for a second longer before an old man in a golf cart drives by and calls out, startling us both. 

“If that’s what you get for an archery lesson, sign me up!” He winks and waggles his eyebrows suggestively before driving off. We jump away but the blush is evident on both our faces. I finish the lesson without touching him again.

Despite the awkwardness of the lesson, Peeta made it up to me later on with pizza and beer, and we both acted as though nothing had happened between us.

Since it’s Friday, I don’t have any classes today, so I thought I’d head to the school and surprise Peeta with lunch. Being raised in a bakery means that when he brings me lunch, it’s usually something fancy made with artisan bread and fresh pastries for dessert. Since it’s my turn though, we’re having McDonald’s Big Macs.

Once at the school there are students everywhere; the lunch bell must have just rang.. With no reason to dress up today, I’m just wearing a pair of shorts and a red U of P tee shirt, so I blend into the crowd pretty easily. The door to the classroom is open and I peek in to see Peeta hunched over the front of Haymitch’s desk. I knock on the door and say, “Rough morning?”

Peeta looks up with his eyes wide. “Haymitch called in sick this morning and didn’t think a substitute teacher was necessary, so I just got thrown in with the wolves. I’ve never taught a class by myself before. It was a little…overwhelming.”

I try to give him a sympathetic smile but it comes out as a grimace. I close the door behind me and walk over to where he stands. “Yikes! I’m sorry. Is that even legal? I thought there had to be at least a substitute teacher there to watch you.” I start to lay out our spread on Haymitch’s desk. “Were the kids out of hand?”

Peeta helps to clear some things and pulls over two chairs so they are side by side. He flops down in one and throws his head back, tossing his arm over his eyes dramatically. “No, but I definitely should have had some supervision. I think Haymitch was just hung over and didn’t feel like coming in. The kids were completely fine though; they did all their work perfectly. I was the one who was a big, stumbling goofball. How am I going to stand up there everyday for the next forty years and teach these kids?” 

I take the seat next to him and start to unwrap my burger. “Peeta Mellark was nervous? Say it isn’t so!” He lifts his head up and mock glares at me from under his arm. I smile and continue, “Peeta, you’ve just got some first time jitters. Remember in high school you were on the speech and debate team? You even spoke at our graduation! You’re the best public speaker I know. You’re going to be an amazing teacher, Peeta. Have a little faith in yourself.” I take a bite of my burger and wait for him to respond.

After a pause, he sits forward and says quietly, “I was just a little shocked. I didn’t think I’d be on my own right away and it just threw me a little.”

I put down my lunch and lean towards him. “Peeta, everyone’s nervous on the first day. After today you’re going to be awesome at this and wonder why you were even scared to begin with. Now come on, buck up and eat your lunch. You’ve still got two more class periods after all!”

He groans but smiles as he unwraps his burger and begins to eat his lunch. We chat for a while and before we know it, the bell rings signaling that lunch is over. He gives me a worried look, letting me know that I haven’t completely eradicated his nerves from earlier.

“Come on, you’ll be fine,’ I say as I gather the trash together to throw away. “You can do this! You just need to grow a pair.” 

He gives me a playful shove. “You’re pretty big on the tough love, aren’t you? No mollycoddling from you.”

I dispose of the trash and grab my bag before heading towards the door. I turn and smile reassuringly. “Nope.”

Peeta crosses over to me and I hesitate at the door., “Thank you, Katniss. I needed someone to calm me down.” Then he leans in and pulls me into a tight hug. 

It doesn’t last long enough. I hug him back, but know that any second now, a large group of seventeen year olds is going to come in and will probably embarrass us both.

As I pull away, I give him a reassuring squeeze. “You’ve got this, Peeta.”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

A few days after my lunch with Peeta, I head back to my apartment after going to an early dinner and a movie with my family. I’ve just opened the door when a text from Gale pops up on my phone.

Are you back from dinner with your mom and Prim? Do you mind if I come over? 

As I put down my purse, I slip off my shoes and type out a reply.

Yep, just walked in the door. Come on over ☺. 

I head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face before changing into yoga pants and an oversized tee. Gale and I have been friends so long that he doens’t care if I’m in my pajamas when he visits. Since dinner was several hours ago, I head to the kitchen to find a snack when I see a note from Finnick on the refrigerator. 

Madge and I are going for drinks at the Hob. Come join up when you get back!

I briefly consider texting Gale back to see if he wants to meet up with them, but decide that I would rather just stay in for the night. Just as I put some leftovers from the night before in the microwave, there’s a knock on the door.

“It’s open,” I call out.

The front door opens and closes quietly and Gale steps into the kitchen.

“Hey, Catnip,” he says and gives me a quick hug.

“Hey, Gale. How was your day?”

We chat for a couple of minutes, but I notice that Gale seems distracted and not at all himself. Normally he’d barrel into the room and help himself to some food before plopping down on the couch, but instead he’s standing here, right infront of me, unable to look at me and barely saying a word.

“Gale, what’s up with you? Is everything okay? You’re being super weird.”

He looks up hesitantly. “Actually, Catnip, there’s something I wanted to… uh…I need to tell you…”

Concerned, I step forward and put my hand on his arm. “Gale, you know you can tell me anything,” I say gently. Apparently it’s the only prompt he needs.

Out of nowhere, Gale crushes my body against his as his lips find mine. My best friend is kissing me. One hand is on my cheek, his other on my waist, clutching me as if he’s afraid I’ll run away. I vaguely hear the microwave beeping in the background, but Gale doesn’t seem phased by it, instead I feel his tongue slip into my mouth and it’s distracting.

The whole thing is unprecedented and it feels strange, but soon I come to the realization that I’ve been mindlessly kissing him back. He rubs his hand up and down my back while mine remain loosely at my sides, my body still frozen in shock. Gale deepens the kiss and pushes me up against the counter, which finally brings me back to my senses.

What are we doing? I push him away and he looks down at me, panting heavily. I’m irritated that he would just shove his tongue in my mouth like that, and confused about what the hell is going on.

“Katniss,” he says quietly. “I love you. I’m in love with you. I want to be with you.”

At a loss for the appropriate words I say the worst possible thing. “Wait, huh? Why?”

I look into his eyes and there’s no doubt that what he’s confessed is true. Gale and I have been so close for so long that I knew there had been something off with him these last couple of months. I just figured it was the stress of finding a decent job or girl trouble. It never crossed my mind that I had been the girl causing him trouble. 

He drops his hands down to his sides in defeat and I know that what I’ve just said sounded incredibly inappropriate. 

“Katniss…,” he trails off, looking crushed and refusing to look at me.

Desperate to keep this from getting any worse, I quickly grab hold of him. “Gale, I know you love me, and I love you too.” Suddenly I feel myself starting to tear up and I choke out, “But I’m just not in love with you.”

Gale looks me in the eyes and I can see his tears welling up too. “That’s…that’s…look, I’m going to go, Katniss.”

Terrified of having my best friend walk away and out of my life forever, of our friendship never be the same again, I grab his hand as he starts to walk away. “No! Please don’t leave like this. You’re my best friend, Gale,” I shout somewhat hysterically, because I’m afraid that if he walks out that door, he’s going to walk out of my life.

He gives me a watery smile, but doesn’t look directly at me. “You’re my best friend too, Katniss. But you’re also a lot more than that to me. I’m just going to need some time, okay?”” With that he leaves and I hear the front door close softly.

There’s no way I could have lied to Gale and told him that I was in love with him; that would have hurt both of us too much. I lean against the wall and release a breath of air I didn’t know I was holding. I slowly slide down the wall until I’m sitting on the kitchen floor and start to cry. 

I feel like I’ve just lost a part of me.


	4. Chapter 3*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Thank you so much for all of your reviews, follows, and favorites, every time I see them they make my day. :)
> 
> A couple things:
> 
> 1) I noticed one or two comments stating that Gale's declaration of love came out of nowhere, but I promise there was a reason for this! I wanted it to seem out of nowhere because I know that when I read "Catching Fire," I was totally blindsided when Gale kissed Katniss and they had that whole moment in the cabin, so that scene was my inspiration for the end of Chapter 2.
> 
> 2) In one scene, Madge references a line from It Takes Two, with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I loved that movie when I was little, and when I was writing that moment, the line from the movie popped in my head and I had to use it.
> 
> 3) I also reference "The Goblin Market" by Christina Rossetti. It's one of my favorite poems and the idea of Peeta teaching this to high school students is hilarious.
> 
> Thank you so much, pookieh, for holding my hand throughout this process and for being a fantastic beta. Thank you, soamazinghere, for pre-reading and helping me catch all my mistakes, you are awesome!
> 
> I think it's pretty clear that I don't own anything from The Hunger Games, I'm just borrowing stuff, man.

CHAPTER 3

With the closing of a door, I feel as though my life has been irrevocably changed.

Not in the mood to talk about it with Finn or Madge, I retreat to my bedroom to try and figure this out, my microwave meal left forgotten on the kitchen counter.

Gale and I have been friends for years, where does he get off thinking that he can just come in here and confuse the hell out of me? I mean, to just come out and kiss me like that, without asking if I even want to be kissed? I find myself getting angry, but then I remember the look on Gale's face when I pushed him away and my anger quickly dissipates. How long has he felt this way?

As long as I have known Gale, I have always assumed that our relationship was purely platonic. Sure, I've noticed how handsome he is. I certainly remember on more than one occasion when we would hang out in public and girls were always checking him out, but I never felt jealous or upset by it. It wasn't a big secret at District Twelve High that Gale Hawthorne could often be found making out with some girl under the bleachers. But I was never one of them, nor did I ever want to be. Gale is an extension of my soul, but he is also my brother, practically my twin.

At some point during my rumination on my relationship with Gale I fall into a fitful sleep. You know how sometimes when you try to solve a problem late at night, you go to sleep and wake up in the morning to find that the problem wasn't that much of a problem at all? Yeah, not the case this time. I wake up to a quiet knock on my door, feeling just as unsettled as I did when I fell asleep.

"Katniss? Are you awake?" Madge asks softly. "It's 10:15. Did you still want to go to the farmer's market with me?"

Damn. I forgot that Madge and I had made plans today. Blearily, I lift my head out of the pile of pillows I'm nestled into, "I totally forgot, Madge. Just give me a minute and I'll be up."

Fifteen minutes later my teeth are brushed and I'm wearing pants that don't have elastic in the waistband. I give Madge a small smile and we begin walking to the park where the farmer's market is held. I'm tired from just waking up, and tense as I go over everything that happened last night in my head. Madge must notice my strange demeanor, and she tentatively reaches out and touches my hand. "Katniss, are you okay? You seem a little zombie-like, are you still half-asleep?"

I lift my gaze from my shoelaces and when I make eye contact with Madge, I know that I'll have to tell her everything. We stop on the sidewalk while I recount the whole incident, Gale's kiss and his heartfelt confession, and how now I'm afraid that our friendship has been ruined forever. She stands next to me, still holding my hand with her mouth slightly agape. When I finish, she is silent for a minute.

"Okay, so let me get this straight. Gale's in love with you, Gale kissed you, and now Gale is off somewhere sad and alone?" I nod my head and she releases a heavy breath of air. "You know, Katniss, you've told me all about how Gale feels, but have you ever stopped to think about what a relationship with him would really be like? I'm just saying, Gale has apparently had years to acknowledge and accept his feelings for you, while you've had less than twenty-four hours to think about what your feelings for him might be."

I shake my head. "You don't get it. When we kissed, it was just…a kiss. It was heated, that's for sure, but there was no passion behind it, not from me at least."

Madge squeezes my hand. "So it wasn't that 'can't-eat, can't-sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of kiss'?"

I squeeze her hand back and give a little grin. "Sorry, Mary-Kate Olsen, but it just wasn't. I love Gale, but I'm just not in love with him."

As I sigh, Madge leans in and pulls me into a tight hug. , "You'll just have to give him time," she whispers in my ear. "Have faith in your friendship, he'll come around."

I find myself shutting my eyes tightly so that my tears won't slip out. "Thanks, Madgie."

She releases me with a big sigh and looks down at her watch. "Well, it looks like the farmer's market is out for today. "

"Oh, I'm sorry, Madge," I say guiltily. "Maybe we can just buy our produce from the grocery store this week and then next Saturday, I'll make sure to set my alarm so we make it in time."

Madge flashes me a bright smile. "It's a date." She links her arms through mine as we turn around to head back home. "Actually, I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor?"

"Madge, you just listened to me gripe about all of my problems while we missed the farmer's market, you can have anything you want."

It turns out that what Madge wants is a shopping buddy to help her find some new fall clothes at the mall. When I go shopping, I'm usually good for about an hour before I begin to grow weary of all the racks and bustling people, and feel the need to escape the chaos and go home. Not Madge; I'm pretty sure she could shop all day.

By the time we've reached Anthropologie, I've become a human coat rack as I hold all of the items she wants to try on.

"Oh, Katniss, look at this dress! It's beautiful! Help me find my size."

I try not to sigh heavily as I start to sift through the rack. "What size are you again? A six?"

Madge blushes before she replies, "Um, probably more like an eight or a ten. Oh look, here's a size four, you have to try it on!"

One look at the price tag sends me reeling. I thought this was the clearance rack, how in the world is this dress still over a hundred dollars? Sensing my hesitancy, Madge quickly takes the dress from me. "You don't have to buy it, just try something on with me. Please?"

I look up to see Madge's eyes grow wide as she sticks her bottom lip out in a pout. "Fine, fine, I'll try it on, you don't have to pout." It's not that I particularly hate dresses; it's just that they have no real use in my life. Sure, throwing on a dress in the morning is easy, but so is throwing on a pair of shorts and a shirt.

She squeals and ten minutes later we're off to the dressing rooms. Grumbling, I throw the dress over my head. It's a blue jersey shirtdress with white flowers embroidered over the front in a beautiful thread that sparkles in the light. It hangs a couple inches above my knees and I straighten out the material of the dress and tie the sash that comes with it around my waist.

Shit. I love this dress.

I'm smiling as I look at myself in the mirror, but groan when I remember the price. With a sigh, I pull back the curtain of the dressing room and wait for Madge to come out. Within a minute she pulls back the curtain to her own room, straightening out a white dress with tiny blue zebras.

"Katniss, do you—" She stops mid sentence, dropping her jaw and grinning simultaneously when she looks over at me. "You look gorgeous. You're getting this, whether you like it or not."

"Madge, this is way out of my price range, I—"

"I'm buying it for you," she interrupts as she puts up her hand to stop me. "Consider it an early Christmas present, or whatever. Besides, my dad put a little extra money in my account this month so I could treat myself, so this is what I'm buying. Don't bother fighting with me. Now," she says as she straightens up and strikes a pose. "What do you think of this?"

As it turns out, Madge is a lot more stubborn than I've ever given her credit for. After an hour of trying to talk her out of buying me the dress, explaining to her that I didn't need it and that it's way too expensive, she stomped her foot on the floor and shouted, "Katniss, fuck you, I'm buying you the damn dress, now shut up!". The whole store turned to watch us as she started to cry. I let her buy me the damn dress. We were also asked not to return to that particular Anthropologie store for a while.

Despite Madge's temper tantrum and what felt like an endless afternoon of shopping, I was actually starting to feel a little better about everything that happened with Gale. I considered texting him, but I know that right now he probably just needs his space. He'll come back around when he's ready. Right?

Once I'm back at home, I sit in my room and play around on my computer, trying not to think about Gale, but it's no use. I decide that a run around campus might help to alleviate some of the stress of worrying about what's left of our friendship.

As I pull on my running shorts, I get a text from Peeta.

Peeta: Hey! : ) How's your day going?

Me: Hey! It started out pretty crappy, but it's gotten a little better. I'm just about to head out for a run. What are you doing?

Peeta: Ugh, grading papers. Haymitch gives me all the work he doesn't want to do, which is most of it. :/ A run sounds awesome, mind if I join you?

I pause and crinkle my nose as I stare at my phone. This was supposed to be a relaxing run, one where I could just mindlessly clear my head and not have to worry about keeping up a conversation with another person. I debate telling Peeta no, but I don't want to offend him. Besides, I like spending time with him and he might actually be able to help take my mind off of Gale.

Me: Sure. I'm dressed and ready to go, so I'll walk over to your place and we'll head out. That give you enough time to get ready?

Peeta: Sounds good, see you then! I'm in apartment 1021B.

Fifteen minutes later I've made the trek over to Peeta's apartment. Capitol Housing is one of the bigger communities at U of P, but I'm able to locate his building easily enough. I rap on the door and almost immediately Peeta bounds out.

"Hey! I hope the place wasn't too hard to find. Ready to go?"

Given my crappy mood, I have a hard time responding to the grin that Peeta throws my way, but Peeta doesn't seem to notice as he gives me a quick hug. All I manage is a half-smile and a quiet "Sure."

Peeta furrows his brow as he locks his front door and I can't help but notice how handsome he looks in his navy athletic shorts and plain white tee shirt. His voice snaps me back to reality. "You okay?"

Thankfully it doesn't seem as if he noticed that I was checking him out. "I'm fine," I stutter out. It's all I offer up as a response because honestly, I'm just not in the mood to talk about anything. Madge kind of exhausted me today.

He seems to pick up on my hesitancy and drops the subject. "Okay. Why don't you choose the route today and I'll just follow."

I nod my head as I put in my headphones and lead the way. As we run, I can tell that Peeta wants to question my attitude. He even opens his mouth a couple of times to say something before he seems to think better of the situation and closes it again. I lead us on a big loop of the campus and through the neighborhood that surrounds it. Madge tried her best to distract me this morning, but she only provided a brief distraction from my problems. I thought running would help get rid of the issue, but instead of clearing my head, I can't help but get lost in my thoughts.

After a while Peeta finally breaks the silence and huffs out through ragged breaths, "You know…not that I'm out of shape…and not that…you're totally kicking…my ass on this run…but, we've been going…for about an hour…how much further…did you…really want to go?" Then he begins to cough a little.

Blinking rapidly as I come out of my daze, I slow down and come to a stop so Peeta can catch his breath. It's then that I realize I'm actually struggling a little too. I take out my ear buds and say, "Oh, wow…I really didn't mean to go this long. The sun's set and everything... Your apartment is only about a half mile away…how about we just walk back there now?"

Peeta nods and I take my headphones out and rest them around my neck as we turn and head back to Peeta's place. When we're on the edge of the housing community, but not quite at his apartment yet, he nudges me and asks, "Race to the front door?"

I bite my lip as I consider it, but then he taunts, "Come on, you chicken?"

That's all the motivation I need to break out in a sprint. Peeta shouts from behind me, "Hey!" but I don't turn back. I'm determined to win.

Just as I'm almost to his front door, out of nowhere Peeta grabs me from behind and tackles me to the ground. We end up in a heap of sweat and entangled limbs and I find myself laughing harder than I have in awhile. He's laughing and wheezing at the same time and every time one of us starts to settle down, we feed off each other and end up laughing all over again.

"Hey! No sex on the front lawn!" a voice calls from the apartment. "People, we have neighbors!" We immediately freeze and look up to see Johanna standing in the doorway, smirking. Peeta and I look to each other and realize the position we're in, now that we're not laughing any more. He's lying completely on top of me with our legs tangled together, with one of my knees bent up and leaning against his hip. One of my hands is on his hip and the other on his back, while his forearms are resting on either side of my head. "This is inappropriate." Johanna continues, "I should report you to the RA!" She winks before slamming the door shut, cackling away.

I feel my eyes go wide as I look into his eyes, so bright and blue and smoldering. It's too much; we're far too close. I clear my throat, which seems to snap him out of whatever trance he's in. Peeta rolls off of me, giving an embarrassed cough as he scoots over to give me some space. He seems unsure of how I'm going to react, bracing himself for the worst, no doubt, as he quietly mumbles, "Sorry."

I feel rather out of breath again, even though our run ended minutes ago. I take a couple of deep cleansing breaths before I turn to him and say, "It's fine, don't worry about it, it's not like it was a big deal." There's an awkward pause. Sensing the need to break the silence, we both turn to each other.

"I'm just going to-"

"Kat, would you-"

We both start to talk simultaneously. I can't help the smile that comes across my face as I look at Peeta's grin. How does he have this effect on me? I'm supposed to be miserable today, but no, I'm sitting here, covered in grass and laughing with Peeta Mellark.

I look up at Peeta to see that his eyes are sparkling. "Do you want to order a pizza and have some beer? I think I've done all the grading I can for the day."

Hesitantly, I look down at my body that's covered in sweat and grass. "I'm kinda dirty."

Peeta cracks a mischievous grin. "I don't mind a little dirt."

I arch an eyebrow at him and start to open my mouth with a retort, but Peeta beats me to the punch. "You can shower here and borrow some sweats from me or from one of the girls, if you want."

"Because I live so far away?"

Peeta blushes. "Aw, come on, Katniss, you and I both know that if you head home right now that you're not coming back. If there's any chance at getting you to spill your secret about why you're so upset, I'm going to have to bribe you with food."

His offer sounds tempting, but as I sit there ruminating my decision, the physical exhaustion from our run finally hits me and I realize that I really just want to go home to take a shower and crawl into bed. "Can I take a rain check? I'm so tired. I'll probably just end up falling asleep on your couch."

Peeta looks like he'd like to argue, but instead he gives me a sympathetic look and says, "Alright. I still have to review some lesson plans for tomorrow anyway. How about Thursday night? Friday's an in-service day so I don't have to worry about teaching early in the morning. "

"Thursday sounds perfect."

"Good. Now that that's settled, I'm driving you home." I open my mouth to argue, but Peeta beats me to it. "Nope, don't even try. It's dark out and watching you try to stand there with your wobbly legs, you look like Bambi learning how to walk. Just let me get my keys."

I scowl as he heads inside. I really don't want to walk home, but now that I've been told that I can't, I find myself wanting to out of spite. Upon his return, Peeta sees my scowl and starts to laugh, "Now there's the Katniss I've been missing all night!" He ruffles up my hair as he walks by me.

As I blow away some of the stray hairs that have stuck to my sweaty face, I can't help but giggle softly with him. Seriously, how does he do that? How does he always manage to somehow make me feel even just a little bit better; no matter how hard try to be broody, Peeta always makes things better.

"You know, I didn't think it would be so easy to get you to open up," he remarks as we walk to his car. "Now I know that when I want you tell to me something, all I have to do is offer to feed you."

I smirk and quirk an eyebrow at him, suddenly feeling the urge to tease Peeta back a little. "I guess I'm easily seduced."

The look on his face is priceless.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Between classes and my job at the Lodge, I find myself busy enough to not have much time to focus on Gale. I was worried about having an awkward conversation with Gale at work, but he must have switched shifts or something, because I haven't run into him at all. While I am still anxious when I think about how our relationship will progress after we start speaking again, I know Gale and I am confident in our friendship. We've made it through everything, him and I, with two dead fathers, one absentee mother, and four siblings to raise. So why shouldn't we be able to get through this? Although I miss talking to my friend every day, I know that he probably just wants time to himself. Or at least, I know that's what I would want, and since Gale and I are practically twins, I feel comfortable just leaving him be. Besides, I kind of have a lot on my plate already.

Before I know it, it's Thursday night and true to my word, I'm sitting on Peeta's couch, stuffed full of pepperoni and mushroom pizza, and laughing my head off at a story about one of his students.

"So then," he says as he wipes tears of laughter from his eyes. "The poor guy just looks at me and at this point he's just stuttering the words on the page, but before I even had a chance to try and figure out a way to save him, the bell rang. Thank God, I thought he was going to bust his nut right then and there!"

"So what happened when the other kids got up to leave?" I clutch my sides as I respond. "Was he even able to get up?"

Peeta laughs. "He just sat there blushing for a moment, but tried to play it off like he was searching in his notebook for something. Eventually he got up and left, but I couldn't even look at him."

"Well, come on, Peet, that poem, what was it? Goblin…?"

"'The Goblin Market'."

"Right, that doesn't sound very appropriate for a high school class."

"They're AP students! I thought they'd be able to read some awesome poetry without sporting any inappropriate boners in the middle of class. Geez!"

I roll my eyes. "Please, do you even remember high school? Inappropriate boners are like an integral part of the experience, along with letterman jackets and pep rallies."

Peeta snorts. "Oh, is that so? Please, tell me more about this magical high school experience of yours, fit with ill-timed sexual advances."

For the second time in less than a minute, I roll my eyes again. "Haha, very funny." We grow quiet and I look down at my hands when I remember that in high school I spent all my time with Gale and Madge, which of course makes me think of Gale and what happened last week.

I must space out as I get lost in my inner turmoil because Peeta scoots over closer to me on the couch. "Kat," he asks as he tries to make eye contact. "You okay? I was just teasing you." I allow myself to look up at him only to find his brow furrowed and his eyes filled with concern and confusion about my sudden shift in mood. "Kat?"

And then I'm telling him everything. How Gale and I have always been best friends, how Gale came to my apartment last week, how he shocked me with his confession, how I didn't know what to say to him.

"Then out of nowhere he's kissing me and telling me that he's in love with me and I know I've completely messed everything up."

Peeta just stares at me silently. Then he lets out a long exhale, "So when I saw you on Sunday…?"

"I had just seen him the night before and my mind was just such a mess. Hence, the run through campus like a madwoman."

Peeta nods his head slowly as if he's trying to understand the situation. Finally he lets out a loud sigh, as if he's just come to a big conclusion in his head. "Well, I bet if you just go to Gale and say, 'Look, I messed up, I do want you, I just freaked out a little,' that he'd be willing to let it all go and things would be fine. I mean, you guys have been friends for-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I say as I cut him off. "That's not what I meant by all this, Peeta. My problem is that Gale told me he's in love with me, but I'm not in love with him."

"Wait, what? I thought…you and him…you guys were always together in high school. I just always assumed that you were dating. Then with you telling me about what happened, I thought—"

"What? No! I mean, yeah, we hung out a lot in high school, but we're just friends, that's it. Saturday night was the first time he's ever kissed me, let alone said anything even remotely romantic towards me."

Peeta sits there with his elbows resting on his knees as a wave of realization hits him. He seems to be considering something in great detail in his mind and is nodding slowly to himself.

"Hello, earth to Peeta? Not to be super needy, but I still kinda need some advice with this."

He shakes himself out of his daze. "But Katniss, come on, are you telling me that nothing has ever happened between you two?"

"No, Peeta, nothing ever happened between us!" I answer angrily. "Thus, the problem!"

"But you want to have feelings for Gale?"

"What? I never said that, I just…I'm really confused," I say softly.

Peeta stares at me with what appears to be pity and a small trace of sadness. "Katniss, you need to figure out what exactly it is that you want. It sounds like you've spent the last week trying to tell yourself one thing or another without really sitting down and asking yourself any hard questions. You're telling yourself what you want to hear, that things will just blow over or something, but I think you know that things can't really blow over until you own up to what you really feel."

Well, hol-y shit. My mouth hangs open and I'm sure I look like a goldfish as I sit there and stare wide-eyed at Peeta. He gets up and mumbles something about washing our dishes.

After a few seconds or minutes, I don't know really, but at some point, Peeta comes back into the room and sits down next to me.

"How did you figure all that out before I did?" I ask incredulously.

Peeta gives a soft chuckle. "I guess that's just what friends do for each other."

Friends.

I've never thought to call Peeta my friend, but in that moment I know that of course it's true. That it happened somewhat quickly, for me at least. Somehow he came into my life and became an integral part of it. Now that I think about it, there hasn't been a day that's gone by this semester without us talking in some way, whether it was through a quick text, a comment on Facebook, or a "like" on Instagram.

Of course Peeta is my friend.

With my sudden realization, I wrap my arms around Peeta in an awkward sideways hug. Because we're still sitting, my body is uncomfortably twisted around the left side of his, but eventually he sighs and twists to reciprocate. I feel my body starting to relax and I just allow myself feel him. I feel his arms wrapped protectively around me, clutching my back, communicating to me how much he cares about our friendship. My arms are tight around his torso and my sweaty palms are clutching his shirt. As I exhale, I notice that I'm sniffling a little which causes Peeta to hold onto me even tighter, squeezing his reassurances to me. Before I do something embarrassing like cry, I let go of him and take a deep breath.

"Thanks, Peeta."

He looks at me, his blue eyes boring intently into my own. His arms are wrapped loosely around me now. "Let me know when you've got it figured out."

Later that night as I lie in bed, I allow myself to really reflect on what Peeta said. Just because I've never thought about Gale romantically or sexually, that doesn't mean it could never happen.

I try and imagine what a life with Gale would be like. It would be easy to just slip an extra physical element into our relationship. He knows everything about me and is still interested, which has to count for something. Prim and mother know Gale well; I know they'd be happy to see us together. The Hawthornes love me so I'd be an easy addition to their family. Really, my life wouldn't be that different if I dated Gale, it would just be the additional physical affections that would be new.

I try and picture it in my head, Gale and I romantically involved, but there's always just something a little off. It gets to a point where I realize that Gale and I just aren't ever going to be together in that way. Peeta was wrong. I came to the correct decision all on my own!

For whatever reason, Peeta managed to confuse me, but I knew my true feelings as soon as Gale kissed me. The instinct to push him away was proof enough to tell me that a physical relationship with Gale isn't what I want.

So why did Peeta push me to really consider my feelings about Gale? Was he trying to get us together? Or was he just trying to be a good friend, making sure that I knew what I was doing? He was so deep in thought during the whole discussion, but I guess he was just as perplexed about the situation as I am.

Or as I was. Because I was right!

For once I was actually right in distinguishing my feelings. Dr. Aurelius, the therapist I saw for a few years after my dad died and whom I still continue to talk to every once in a while, would be so proud. A relationship between Gale and me would never work out; we'd probably kill each other. I know this, and eventually Gale will realize it too. So why is Peeta the one who needs so much convincing?

I groan into my pillow and as I roll over, a light flashing on my cell phone catches my attention. Who's texting me at 1:18 in the morning?

My eyes widen as I read the text.

Gale: Catnip, can we please see each other soon? Are you free next Tuesday?


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi, everyone! Thank you so much for your sweet reviews and comments, both on here and elsewhere. Thank you, pookieh, for your fantastic beta work and for catching all my mistakes, you are so great!! : ) Thank you, soamazinghere, for pre-reading and making funny comments. I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Come hang out with me on Tumblr: english1823

I look over at my phone. 11:58 AM. Gale and I are meeting at our favorite little restaurant, Greasy Sae’s, for lunch at noon. Being the paranoid person I am, I decided to get to Sae’s early so I could grab us a table and have a few minutes to calm myself down before he arrives. It’s not going very well. I’m smacking my gum, something even I find annoying yet I can’t seem to stop, and bouncing my left leg up and down repeatedly. Where is he? He wouldn’t stand me up, I’m not afraid of that. I’m just anxious. I want our friendship to return back to normal. As I look down at my phone again, it reads 12:03 PM, and I hear someone slide into the booth across from me. 

“Hi, Gale.”

“Catnip,” he says quietly. He looks down at our table. “Did you eat the menus?”

He’s joking. It’s a good sign. “Well, you are late.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Please, we’ve been coming here long enough, I think I know what you’re getting. You’ve ordered the same thing for the last eight years.”

“You know me too well.” There’s an awkward silence. The waitress brings us some waters and we each order iced tea with our meals. I stare down at the cracked tabletop as we wait and bite my lip. “Gale…”

He holds up a hand to stop me. “Please, let me start?” I nod “I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable or if I was out of line in any way. I just, I had to kiss you, even if it was only once.”

My eyebrows shoot up my forehead. “How long have you had feelings for me?”

Gale rubs his face with his hands and says, “A couple months. Remember when we went to that party at Darius’ right after your finals week? You, me, and Darius were joking around in the kitchen and he said something about getting you to play spin the bottle so he could kiss you. I knew he was just joking, but when he said it, I realized that I’d be mad if he kissed you, that the thought of that happening made me want to punch him in the face. Because… because I’m the one who should be kissing you. I just didn’t know how to tell you or what to do with my feelings.”

I suck in a deep breath and crack my knuckles, a nervous habit of mine. The waitress drops off our drinks and food: chili and cornbread for Gale, and a cowboy burger with fries for me. We mumble our thanks and look up at each other in silence.

For the most part, Gale looks like the same guy I’ve known my whole life. His dark hair is getting long and starting to fall into his silver eyes. The plaid shirt he’s wearing looks a little wrinkled, but I can’t imagine him owning, let alone ever using an iron. It’s his countenance that is so different; he looks a little hunched, as if feeling shy and perhaps a little defensive. Wanting to ease some of the tension, I rest my hand on his arm. “And how do you feel now?”

Gale looks at me and gives me the smallest smile. “You’re my best friend and to a certain extent, I know that I’ve always loved you in some way, but there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone.”

I furrow my brow and ask, “Do you ever think that you’ve just been in love with the idea of me?” 

Gale scrunches his nose and considers it for a moment. “Honestly, I feel like it was bound to happen at some point, you know? That one of us would question their feelings for the other. But what I want to know is…how do you really feel about me?”

Knowing that this question was inevitable, the thought of it and then having it posed to me in real life are two different things. I push my fries around my plate with my fingers, suddenly feeling a little shy myself. I take a deep breath. “Gale, you’ve been my best friend for so long, but I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I love you so much, my life would be so incredibly different if you weren’t in it, but I know that in my heart, I’m not in love with you. I wanted to…I wanted to try and consider it, but that kiss…”

“You didn’t feel anything?”

“It’s like my head wasn’t on right. Like I floated out of my body and watched us kiss instead of experiencing it myself. Then I came back to earth and realized what was happening and I just…freaked out a little,” I finish lamely. 

Gale looks at me for a long minute. “It’s like kissing a drunk person then, it doesn’t mean anything, because you weren’t really in the moment with me.” He looks down sadly before finally taking a bite of his food. I slowly start on my own food, which is now slightly cold from sitting there for so long. 

After a few minutes of us eating, Gale says so quietly that I almost miss it, “Katniss, I don’t want this to be how our friendship ends.”

My heart softens and I wipe my greasy hands on a napkin before I grab his hand. “Just because things aren’t going to go the way you wanted, doesn’t mean that we can’t still be friends. I still want to be a part of your life, Gale. I just can’t be with you the way you want me to be.”

Gale squeezes my hand. “Can we still be hunting partners?”

The corners of my mouth lift up as I squeeze his hand back. “Of course.”

The rest of our meal passes in relative silence, but it’s not uncomfortable. After we finish and pay at the register, we leave the diner and walk outside to the fresh air. Gale turns and squints at me, the sun shining brightly in his face, making him look like he’s glowing. He moves forward and crushes me into a hug, rocking me slightly from side to side. “We’re going to be okay, right, Catnip?” 

I fist my hands in the back of his shirt, probably wrinkling it even more than it already is. “We’ll always be okay, Gale.”

He releases me and shifts slightly on his feet. “I’ll see you soon?”

“I’ll be here.”

When I get in my car, I rest my forehead against the steering wheel. I’m so emotionally drained that I could take a nap, but I mostly just feel relieved. Things with Gale will probably take a little time to return back to normal, but I feel good about how we left things. Gale just needs a nice girl that can balance him out in ways that I can’t, a girl who will understand him and not blow up in his face like I usually do. 

We’re both like fire, he and I. We’ve had screaming matches that have left me in tears and him stomping off, but he has been and always will be my best friend. This is just an unexpected bump in the road of our friendship, that’s for sure, but things will get better and become less awkward as time goes on.

I get back to my apartment and lay down for a quick nap. When I get up, I see that I have five texts from Prim, asking me when I’ll be coming over to help her get ready for the Homecoming Dance at the high school. I groan as I text her back; doing hair and makeup does not sounds like my idea of a fun Saturday afternoon, but I tell her to calm down and that I’d be over soon. 

Thirty minutes later I’m in the upstairs bathroom of my old house, helping Prim curl her hair while she updates me on all the drama going on at school.

“I don’t know what Amber was thinking, coming on to Wilson as if she didn’t know that Kimberly was standing there five feet away!” she exclaims dramatically. 

I have a curling iron in one hand, a can of hairspray in the other, and a comb gripped between my teeth. “Wait, who’s Kimberly again?” I manage to muffle out.

“She’s Wilson’s new girlfriend. They just started going out a week ago.”

“Well maybe—aw shit!” The comb falls out of my mouth and into the sink below. Prim giggles and rolls her eyes. “Maybe Amber didn’t know they were going out, since it’s such a recent thing.”

“Oh, no, Amber knew what she was doing. She was just being a bitch.”

“Prim!” I exclaim, not used to hearing that word come out of my little sister’s mouth. “Did you just swear?”

“Seriously, Katniss? I’m seventeen years old. Yes, I just said the word ‘bitch.’ Are you done with my hair yet? Rory’s going to be here in less than an hour,” she whines.

I take in her Hello Kitty pajama shorts and oversized grey t-shirt, looking so much like a little girl, but trying so desperately to sound like an adult. I poke at her side. “Maybe if a certain little duck stopped wiggling around so much, I’d finish a lot quicker.”

She scowls the best she can, but we both know she can’t pull the look off. We look at each other in the mirror as she quacks at me, a big grin on her face.

I finish the final curl and spray so much hairspray that I can’t breathe properly in the bathroom anymore. 

“Geez, Kat, enough with the hairspray, I’m not going on Toddlers and Tiaras.”

I set the hairspray on the counter and swat her on the butt. “Yeah, yeah. Go get your makeup and get started, I’m going to grab a snack.”

Prim squeals and gives me a light punch on the arm as she scampers off to her room to get her makeup. Needing a break, I head downstairs to the kitchen and grab an apple from the bowl on the table. As I take a bite, my mother walks in. 

“How’s it going up there? Is my bathroom a wreck now?”

I swallow and say, “There’s a wave of hairspray up there. Don’t light any matches.”

She chuckles a little as she grabs a frozen meal from the freezer. “Mm, duly noted.”

I watch as she places the meal in the oversized tote she’s carrying. “When does your shift start?” I ask her.

“Around six. Thanks for helping your sister, I know she’s happy to spend a little time with you since you’ve been so busy lately.”

Her words irritate me, especially since it’s not like she made herself available to help Prim today. I can’t help it, the words just slip out of my mouth: “Well, someone had to.”

I can see the hurt on her face. She turns from me and starts to head into the living room, presumably to watch a TV show before she has to head to work. She probably didn’t mean what she said to be negative; I just took it that way because I’m rarely completely comfortable around her. Wanting to diffuse the tension, at least for Prim’s sake since today is a special day for her, I follow my mother into the living room. Leaning in the doorway, I cross my arms over my chest. “You know, Prim still has to work on her makeup. Do you want to come up with me and help her?”

My mother looks up and smiles hopefully. “Really? Sure, I’d love to.” 

I realize then that maybe the reason why she didn’t help Prim earlier today wasn’t because she didn’t want to make time, but because she felt like she wasn’t invited into our world of sisterly bonding. We head upstairs and knock on Prim’s door.

She opens it dramatically. “That was like, the longest snack ever. Come on, I need help with this eye shadow. It’s all blending together and is making me look like a raccoon.”

I assess the damage. She looks like a hooker.

“Prim, baby, mind if I help?” my mother asks from the doorway.

Prim’s face lights up. “Yes, please! Katniss isn’t much help with makeup anyway.”

I feign indignation. “Hey! I resent that!” I put my hands on my hips as Prim laughs at me.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way! Like, you’re good with your own makeup, but you’re not so good with other people’s.” My mother smiles as she fixes Prim’s makeup. 

Just as I’m about to retort, the doorbell rings. Prim jumps to her feet and squeals for about the millionth time today. “Ooh, Rory’s here! Kat, will you go get the door while mom helps me into my dress? Eek, I’m so excited!” 

I head downstairs and open the door to find Rory Hawthorne standing there, looking slightly nervous. 

“Hey, Rory!” I say as I pull him into a hug. “Look at you, you look great! Prim will be down in just a minute, she’s just getting her dress on.”

Rory says thanks as he sits down on the couch. He’s wearing a white button down shirt tucked into slightly faded black slacks that must have once belonged to Gale. With one hand he fidgets with his black tie and with the other he holds onto Prim’s corsage.

“Do you think she’ll like this corsage? My mom helped me pick it out. I know Prim’s dress is blue and white, and she likes how gardenias smell, so I was hoping she’d like it.”

I look at the beautiful flowers connected together with a navy blue ribbon. “It looks really pretty. That blue will match her eyes perfectly.”

“I know,” he says with a small smile. My mother walks into the room and announces that Prim’s ready. Rory stands as he watches Prim descend the staircase. 

Prim looks stunning. Her hair is curled and pulled half up with a sparkly clip. My mother has worked her magic and instead of having dead-raccoon-hooker eyes, the subtle smoky eye makeup enhances Prim’s sparkling eyes. The dress used to be mine, but it looks better on her than it ever did on me. 

It’s a one-sleeved light blue dress with a white ribbon tied around her middle that nips in at her waist and then puffs out before landing a couple inches above her knees. She looks so grownup and beautiful that Rory just stutters for a minute or two before telling her she looks gorgeous. Prim beams at him as he places the corsage around her wrist. I make them take about a dozen pictures before Prim gets tired and says laughingly, “Come on, Katniss! We’re going to be late!”

My mother kisses her goodbye and tells her to behave herself. Before I know it, I’m left standing alone in the living room with my mother as we watch Prim and Rory from the window. “She looks really beautiful tonight, doesn’t she?” my mother says as she stares wistfully. 

“She does. Rory looked like he was about to pass out when she walked in,” I say with a hint of laughter.

“He did. I just hope they behave themselves tonight,” my mother replies with a furrowed brow.

“Prim’s a smart girl, she won’t let anything happen.” 

We stand there in silence, left with nothing else to say to each other really. My mother eventually picks up her bag and says, “If I don’t head out soon, I’m going to be late for my shift. Thanks for helping today, sweetie.” She gives me a small kiss on the cheek. 

“Of course, Mom. Have a good night.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of my weekend is relatively uneventful. When I get out of class on Monday morning though, I get a text from Peeta asking if I want to hang out after he’s done teaching. Through the previous week of classes, the craziness of settling things with Gale, and helping Prim prepare for the dance, I still haven’t managed to forget our last conversation. What the hell was he thinking? He gives really bad advice. I’m still trying to figure it out when there’s a knock on my front door and I let Peeta in.

“Hey, Katniss! How was your weekend?” he asks as he bends over to set his stuff down on the floor. Those khaki pants he’s wearing are like a gift from the Gods. Now’s not the time to get distracted. 

“Busy. I spoke with Gale.” Peeta tenses before he straightens up. 

“So you guys are together now?”

“What?” I throw my hands up in the air. “No! Peeta, didn’t you listen to anything I said? I don’t have feelings for Gale, never have, and I doubt I ever will.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yes, really!” I take a step closer to him. “You really confused me. Why did you do that? You kept questioning everything I said, like you wanted me to be in love with Gale or something. What was that?” By this point my voice is borderline hysterical, but after the week I’ve had, I’m kind of at my breaking point. 

Peeta braces his hands on my shoulders and lowers his head to look me in the eye. “Katniss, I never meant to confuse or upset you. Back in high school, I just always thought that you and Gale would be together. I wanted to make sure that you really knew how you felt about him.”

I let out a huff of air. “Peeta, but I did know how I felt. I’m saying this for the last time: I don’t have feelings for Gale. He’s my best friend and I love him, but I don’t want to be in a relationship with him.” 

Peeta studies me for a moment and then gives me a giant smile as he hugs me close. He lets go and looks at me with those eyes that never seem to stop twinkling. “So, what’s the plan for tonight?” 

“Well, I’m kinda broke, so how about we make dinner here and watch a movie?”

Peeta grins. “You mean, how about I make dinner for us while you watch?”

“I say tomato, you say to-mah-to.”

After devouring some of the best French toast I’ve ever had, Peeta and I are sitting in my dark living room, sitting side by side on the couch while watching “The Sixth Sense.” At some point during the movie, we’ve managed to migrate close together, snuggled up under the same blanket. 

When Cole heads into his bedroom and sees Mischa Barton’s character in the tent, Peeta jumps about a foot in the air and holds the blankets up to his nose. 

“Peeta, haven’t you seen this movie before?” I ask while laughing.

“Well, I did when I was younger, but I don’t really remember it. Come on, how did that not scare yo—Oh, shit! Look at her throwing up! Fuck.” He shivers then leans back into the couch, trying to play it off. “I’m cool, I’m cool. Whatever.”

“Oh, yeah, you’re really cool right now. At least you’re not as bad as Finnick; sometimes he cries.” I clap my hand over my mouth once I realize that I’ve said too much.

Peeta looks over to me with a mischievous look plastered across his face. “Is that so? Good to know.”

“Don’t you dare tell him I told you!”

“Oh, no I would never do that,” Peeta responds with a shit-eating grin. 

I point my finger at him and narrow my eyes. “You better not, Mellark! Finnick would kill me and then I’d come back to haunt you.”

Peeta grabs my finger and holds on to it. “I’m not afraid of you, missy.”

“You should be,” I say as I lean in, our noses almost touching.

“Yeah, probably,” he whispers. 

Peeta’s hand moves from my finger to my hand, before trailing up my arm to my shoulder. Under the blanket, my other hand moves to his and our fingers entwine together. At this point I’m hovering slightly over him. The eyes that are staring back at me are dilated and dark, almost black. I breathe heavily and my eyes flutter shut; I want him to kiss me so badly I feel like exploding. I lick my lips in anticipation when the front door swings open loudly.

My eyes fly open and the moment is lost. We look up to see Finnick and Annie come tumbling in through the doorway, laughing hysterically. Our bodies are frozen still as we look at each other with wide eyes, before turning back to Finnick and Annie. They are practically hanging off each other and haven’t seemed to realize that we’re here, even though Finnick has just turned on the light. 

Not wanting to be caught in our compromising pose, I slowly lean away from Peeta, as he lifts his hand off my shoulder, and slump back onto my side of the couch. Annie is still hanging off of Finnick’s shoulders and his arms are wrapped tightly around her waist as they continue to walk into the room. 

I clear my throat and they freeze in place, both looking shocked and guilty.

“Katniss! I thought you and Madge were out tonight,” Finnick stutters and then blushes profusely.

I look at him incredulously. Finnick Odair doesn’t blush. “Madge is in the music rooms working on her piece that’s due tomorrow and Peeta came over to watch a movie.”

Finnick takes in the darkened room and how Peeta and I are sitting close on the couch. “Watch a movie, eh?” Finnick’s mouth curls into an accusing smirk. “What’s really going on in here, did we interrupt something?”

Peeta raises an eyebrow and looks over to Annie, who finally releases her hold on Finnick and blushes. “We were about to ask you two the same thing.”

“Oh, we were just… you know, goofing around…” Annie says quietly, her eyes focused on her shoelaces.

“Were you about to goof around vertically or horizontally?” I ask with my eyebrows raised. 

Annie flushes a dangerous shade of red and Finnick gives me the dirtiest look he can muster. “No! Annie had a lot to drink tonight and so we were going to hang out here until she sobered up. I was being a good friend.”

“So why didn’t you just drop Annie off at her apartment?” Peeta pipes up.

Finnick’s mouth hangs open as he thinks for a minute, but then his eyes narrow as he looks between the two of us. “Why are both you and Katniss hidden under a blanket in our very dark living room?”

The four of us look at each other for a moment. We’ve hit a stalemate. Annie’s the first to break the silence. “Um, I think I’ll just be heading home…” she trails off as she stumbles towards the door.

Peeta stands up quickly and crosses the room to Annie and grabs her arm. “Uh uh, no way. I’ll drive you home. I should be going anyways. I told my dad that I’d help him at the bakery in the morning.”

I’m relieved to have this strange conversation over with, but I’m disappointed to have to see Peeta leave so soon. Why does he have to be such a nice guy all the damn time? Finnick and I walk Peeta and Annie to the parking lot and as we watch them drive away in Peeta’s car, we turn and look at each other. While both of us would desperately like to rib the other for what transpired tonight, neither of us wants to mention our own incident. I hold out my hand to Finnick who takes it and gives it a firm shake. We share only a single word. 

“Truce.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The week following my little “moment” with Peeta seems to go by in a blur. With him so busy grading papers and me working in the lab every day, we hardly have time to send anything other than goofy texts to each other at odd hours of the day. When I had to cancel a run we had planned, Peeta sent me a picture of him sitting in the corner of his living room, dressed in his running gear making the most comical sad face I’ve ever seen. It was captioned ‘Johanna says I owe her big time for this shot.’ Later that night I sent him a zoomed in shot of the mold I was looking at under the microscope, captioned ‘yummy.’ 

I’m sitting on a bench near the student center, thinking about Peeta’s response to my mold shot, when two hands come from behind me and cover my eyes. 

“Guess who?”

I whirl around to find my friend Rue standing behind me with a shy smile. “Rue! I swear, you’re like the only person in the world who can sneak up on me. How’ve you been?” 

Rue and I met the semester prior through the peer-mentoring program. She was struggling with her Freshman Biology class and I was assigned as her tutor. Even though she successfully passed the class months ago, the two of us have remained friends and meet up for coffee every now and then.

As we catch up, we decide to head to the Starbucks on campus. It’s not my favorite place to go for coffee, but it’s the most convenient. As we walk, Rue tells me all about her current classes and just as we reach the front door of the coffee shop, I spy a familiar head of blonde hair sitting out on the patio at the table next to the door. But he’s not alone. 

“Peeta?” I call out as we approach.

The familiar head turns and catches my gaze. “Kat! What’re you doing here?”

With my view no longer blocked, I can see the blonde girl he’s sitting with and I can’t help but size her up. She’s curvy, but not overweight, and while she has a very plain face, when she smiles at me it’s as though sunshine is radiating off of her. There’s something very familiar about her, but I can’t quite pinpoint what it is. 

The presence of this mysterious girl irks me in some way and I scowl as I turn back to Peeta. “I was going to ask you the same thing. I thought you were super busy with classes and homework today?” 

He was apparently so busy in fact that he cancelled our lunch plans today, which meant that I was free to hang out with Rue when she called me not long after Peeta’s messages.

“Don’t give me that look!” Peeta says good-naturedly. “Delly’s in the teaching credential program with me, we’re working on a group project together.”

The name clicks in my head. Delly Cartwright. We’ve gone to the same schools since kindergarten, but I don’t think we’ve ever said more than two words to each other. She and Peeta hung out in the same group of popular kids that I was never a part of.

Delly stands up and greets me with a big hug, as though we’d been friends forever. “Katniss! It’s so great to see you again!” She turns to Rue and shakes her hand enthusiastically. “Hi there! It’s so nice to meet you, I’m Delly! Katniss, Peeta, and I went to school together!” 

God, this woman is like a walking exclamation point.

Rue, shy but incredibly sweet, smiles back at Delly. “Nice to meet you, I’m Rue. Katniss was my peer mentor in biology last semester.”

Delly smile becomes impossibly brighter. “Katniss was always so sweet growing up.” Peeta snorts as if the last thing he’d ever think to call me would be ‘sweet,’ and I scowl at him while he snickers behind Delly’s back. “No, really! I always admired her, but she was so cool, I never knew how to approach her. I remember hanging out at the Panem Lodge one summer and I got to watch her archery in action, I just couldn’t believe how great she was! I wish I was that talented.” 

At this point Peeta’s fist is in his mouth as he tries not to laugh at my obvious discomfort. Somehow Delly has made it sound as though I was impossibly cool in high school, when in actuality I’m certain the majority of my graduating class didn’t even know my name. Rue seems at a loss for words and looks at me imploringly. I turn and look at Peeta, who manages to get his shit together enough to introduce himself to Rue.

Delly laughs, a light tinkling one. “Oh, I’m so embarrassed, I just jumped right in and edged you out, didn’t I, Peeta?”

Peeta looks up at her with a grin. “Don’t worry, Delly, you can’t help it that you effervesce.” Delly blushes and gives Peeta a light smack on the arm. 

 

Put off by this conversation, and a little annoyed at both Peeta and Delly, I decide it’s time to make our goodbyes. “Well, we don’t want to interrupt your project. It was nice seeing you, Delly.”

Delly gives me another blinding smile. This girl doesn’t let up! “You too! Bye, Rue, I’m so glad to meet you!”

Rue gives Delly a grin that looks plain weak in comparison. “Bye, nice to meet you both.”

I turn to Peeta, who for the entire time has been studying me with amusement. “I’ll see you later, Peeta?” And for some strange reason I tack on, “Text me later tonight? It doesn’t matter what time, I’ll be up pretty late.”

Peeta raises a single eyebrow and tries to suppress a look. “Sounds good. See you later.”

“See you.”

Rue and I make our way into the coffee shop and up to the counter to order our coffees. We sit at a table inside, far away from the blondes interacting enthusiastically outside.

To her credit, Rue stays completely silent until we’re seated before she looks at me. “What in the G-D-hell was that?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, trying to play dumb.

She doesn’t buy it. “I mean, what was up with you and what’s his face. Peeta?”

“Peeta and I are friends. We hang out a lot and I was annoyed that he cancelled our lunch plans just so he could hang out with Delly.”

“You mean, do his group project with Delly?”

I shrug and try to act nonchalant. “I just didn’t appreciate seeing them here. It was rude of him to cancel.”

“You mean it was rude of him to make you feel like a jealous bitch?”

My jaw drops. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her swear before. She’s too innocent; it’s like hearing Prim curse. “Rue!”

“Katniss!” she mimics. “Come on, you were perfectly fine before we saw them and now you’re all distant and annoyed. Well, you’re always annoyed; it’s like your default mood. But now you’re extra annoyed.”

“Hey, I resent that! Okay, fine, I’m a little annoyed.”

“Because you like Peeta and he’s sitting outside at the other end of the coffee shop with a girl who oozes sunshine and has a smile that would cheer up grumpy cat?”

I roll my eyes. “Can we talk about something else, please?”

Rue has mercy on me and acquiesces. She changes the subject to her annoying roommate who keeps stealing her sodas out of the mini fridge. I try to focus on what she’s saying, but I catch myself looking around Rue’s head several times to check on Peeta and Delly. 

After a while I see them pack up their belongings, share a hug, then head out in opposite directions. Once Peeta rounds the corner and walks out of sight, I’m finally satisfied and turn back to Rue. Rue, who seems to have stopped talking a while ago, gives me a knowing look. She turns back and sees Peeta and Delly’s previously occupied table now housing two very old professors. With that, she turns back around and pats my hand.

“It’s called jealousy, sweetie. Embrace it.”


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you very much, pookieh, for being a great beta and not complaining when I bombard you with emails. Thank you, soamazinghere, for pre-reading and helping me work out all the kinks.
> 
> This was one of my favorite chapters to write, when I finished it, I bounced around and sent a very excited email to pookieh. This is an extra long one! :D
> 
> Let's be tumblr friends: english1823

“Katniss, just put on the damn costume, you’re ruining Halloween!” 

With a bang, the door to my room flies open and I see Finnick in a dinosaur costume, acting very irritated for someone who looks so ridiculous. 

“Hey, Barney.”

Finnick scoffs. “Barney? Fuck you, I’m Reptar!” I give him a blank look. “From Rugrats? Good Lord, Katniss, didn’t you watch TV as a kid?”

I give him a nasty look. “Of course I watched Rugrats, I just didn’t get it at first.” Finnick shakes his head in disbelief. “Finn, the party isn’t for another six hours, why are you already dressed?”

Finnick jumps onto my bed next to me and slams my computer shut. “Come on, Kat, it’s part of the Halloween spirit. And I don’t know how long you’ve been on your computer, but you need to look at a clock, the party starts in an hour.”

Well, shit. As if on cue, Madge comes strolling in, dressed up as the most gorgeous maid I’ve ever seen. When she notices my hair that’s in a messy knot and zit cream still on my face, she shrieks. 

“Katniss! How are we going to get you ready in time? You look like a shitstorm! Thank God I’m already ready, it’s going to take the full hour just to get you looking decent.”

Finnick stands up and grins. “Let me help! To the shower, Kitty Kat!” 

I try to scramble away, but Finnick throws me over his shoulder and carries me to the bathroom. Before I know it, he deposits me in the bathtub and has the shower streaming over my fully clothed self. “Damn you, Finn!” Finnick just cackles and leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I grumble, but I haven’t showered in three days, so it’s just as well that I’m here now.

As soon as I’m out of the shower, Madge whisks me away to her room to do my hair and makeup. As she’s putting the finishing touches to my makeup she asks me how things are going with Gale. 

“Honestly, things have been going surprisingly well. Sometimes we’ll be out and I’ll look at him and feel bad about everything, but then he’ll shove me or something and I’m over it,” I say with a laugh. “I’m just glad to have my friend back.”

Madge smiles as she takes a step back. “Voila! All finished.” 

I look at myself in the mirror and am incredibly grateful that I had Madge do everything for me. My hair would never have curled like that on it’s own and I’m pretty sure that I’ve never done a smoky eye that looked so good before. 

“Thanks, Madge, it looks great.”

Madge gives me a hug and says in my ear, “I’m so glad things worked out with you and Gale. It’s good to have things back to normal, well, kind of normal.” Madge makes an unreadable facial expression, then snaps out of it. “Come on, go put on your costume and then we’ll head out!” Before I have a chance to ask her what she meant by “kind of normal”, she’s pushing me out the door to get changed. 

I return to my bedroom and reluctantly put on my costume. After I slip on my sandals, I take a look in the mirror and realize that I actually look good. The costume is something I would have never picked out on my own, but Madge insisted that I would look fabulous. My gypsy costume has a long, silky skirt with a beaded sarong over it that jingles when I move. The cropped white blouse reveals a couple inches of my stomach, but instead of feeling self-conscious, I feel confident. Certainly not sexy, but I feel good in it. I throw on the five million bangles that Madge let me borrow and adjust the scarf I’m wearing as a headband, then head out to the living room where Madge is helping Finnick adjust his dinosaur tail.

They look up when they see me, and Finnick gives me a low whistle. “Well, I’ll be damned, Everdeen. Peeta’s going to shit his pants when he sees you.”

I blush heavily, but thankfully Madge saves me by insisting we take a few pictures to instagram before heading out. 

Even after we park and walk up to our friend Thom’s apartment, Finnick is still complaining about having to lie down in the back seat.

“Finn, I told you that your Reptar tail would be hard to sit on, so it’s your own fault you had to lie down in the back. Plus, your big ol’ dinosaur head was blocking my rearview mirror!” Madge huffs.

Finnick mumbles something about not treating him like a child, when the door opens and Johanna steps out. “Welcome, party people!”

My jaw drops. Do you remember in Mean Girls when Cady says that Halloween is the one night a year a girl can dress like a total slut and not have anyone say anything bad about her? Johanna is taking this to heart. She’s wearing a lingerie bra and panty set with sky-high stilettos.

“Wow, Jo, you look awesome. But what are you?” I ask.

She turns to the side and points out her wings. “I’m a fairy, duh! Come on in, guys!”

We walk into the apartment and both Finnick and Madge immediately decide to team up on beer pong. I’m pouring myself a beer from the keg when I sense someone come up behind me and tap me on the shoulder. 

“Excuse me miss, but I’m trying to find a ‘beauty to my beat’. Mind helping me out?”

I turn around and my eyes widen. Oh, no. The purple hoodie. The side swept bangs. The lowrise skinny jeans. Peeta is dressed as Justin Beiber.

“Come on, Katniss! “Beauty and a Beat?” I’m the Biebs, baby!”

I can’t help it, I laugh hysterically as beer begins to slosh out of my cup. I wipe tears out of my eyes when I notice Peeta staring at me. 

“What? What’s so funny?”

My laughter stops when I notice the way Peeta stands there; his eyes wide and dark to the point where there’s almost no blue left to them. I blush when I realize he’s staring at my exposed midriff. When I stop and take his costume in, I realize that he doesn’t look that goofy at all. In fact, those skinny jeans are clinging to his hips most deliciously…

Peeta clears his throat and gives me a look. He knows I was checking him out. But he did it first! 

“Wow, you should wear your hair like that all the time, Peet. The side swept bangs are really cool,” I say jokingly.

“Hardee-har-har.” Peeta takes a step forward and I try not to tremble when his hand grazes my hip as he touches the little bells. “I like the bells. For once I’ll be able to hear you coming instead of having you sneak up on me all the time.” 

I try to ignore the fluttering in my heart when he said the word ‘coming.’ What is up with me tonight? He opens his mouth to say something else when Johanna flounces up to us, her boobs jiggling with each step. 

“Spin the bottle! Thom’s room! Now!” 

She grabs both of our arms with a surprisingly hard grip and drags us behind her to Thom’s bedroom. Great, playing spin the bottle seems like the perfect thing to do with the guy that I’m trying really hard to pretend to not be insanely attracted to right now. Awesome. 

Johanna plops Peeta and me down next to Madge, Finnick, and Annie, who is dressed like a mermaid. There are about ten other people sitting in the circle with us, some I recognize as Thom’s friends, like Darius and Bristel, and others that I have never seen before. 

Finnick holds out a bottle of tequila and shouts, “A toast! To spin the bottle!” He takes a swig and passes it around the circle for all of us to take a shot. Eventually the bottle is drained and Thom places it in the center of the circle to spin the bottle first. We all shout out when it lands on Annie and he gives her a kiss. Annie pulls away, blushing, and spins. 

It lands on Peeta. Bristel shouts out, “Ooh, roommate kiss!” Everyone starts chanting while Annie turns to her left to give Peeta a quick peck on the lips. Everyone hoots and hollers as she pushes him away and ruffles his hair. “Never again, roomie!” she says with a smirk.

Peeta looks positively bashful, and then shoots me a small grin as he begins to spin the bottle. And God, I hope it lands on me.

But it doesn’t. It lands on Johanna. Johanna gives Peeta a look that can only be described as devilish as she crawls on her hands and knees across the circle to Peeta. He gives her a frightened look before she pounces on him, crawling into his lap and shoving her tongue in his mouth. 

The room erupts into laughter and catcalls as Johanna pulls away. “Take that, roommate!”

Peeta face is flushed a deep red, but he’s laughing along with everyone else. “Thank God I’m not your type Johanna, I think you’d eat me alive!”

I feel like throwing up. I can feel my heart beat in my head as Johanna turns to kiss Darius, and just as I decide to get up and get some fresh air, Madge screams my name. “Oh, Katniss, it’s your turn!”

I can’t catch a fucking break! I look up to find Darius looking like the cat who caught the canary as he whoops. 

“I knew I’d get you eventually! Get over here, Everdeen!” 

I have no choice but to crawl over to Darius, who then puts his hand behind my head and gives me a short, yet surprisingly sweet kiss. He leans back and asks me if I like what I’ve tasted. I roll my eyes.

“Well, I don’t know how I’m going to top that. Excuse me, guys. I’m going to head out to the patio.” I get some teasing and Finnick tells me to stop being such a party pooper, but it’s Peeta who makes me pause. His lips are pursed, but he doesn’t say anything. I’m not even going to try and decipher what that means right now. Ugh, I need some air.

The apartment is entirely too crowded, but when I reach the patio door I see that the balcony is completely empty, thank God. I lean over the edge and take a few deep breaths in and out. What has been going on with me lately? Why did I get so irritated the other day when I saw Peeta with Delly? I honestly wasn’t that annoyed when he canceled on me, I knew how busy he was, I was actually thinking about getting something to go from Starbucks for him and taking it to his apartment before I saw him with stupid Delly. 

And that kiss from Johanna! What the hell is going on in that apartment? It must be like fucking Sodom and Gomorrah in there, all that roommate-kissing going on! How in the world does one man have so many female friends? The only man I know with that many friends is Cinna and he’s gay.

But why shouldn’t Peeta be allowed to have so many friends? Or even kiss them if he wants to? He’s single and oh is he ever good-looking. I mean, he was always good-looking in high school, but college has done him well. His face has matured and he’s bigger, slightly more muscular, but damn, he looks even better than he did before. Which is probably why all these girls are clamoring to kiss him and jumping at the chance to hang out with him at Starbucks. 

I groan and my forehead drops to the railing. I’m jealous. I’m so fucking jealous because I’m attracted to Peeta, there’s no doubt about that. I always thought it was normal to be attracted to your friends, but I feel like this is going a little extreme. Suddenly, the glass door behind me slides open and someone steps out onto the balcony with me.

“Gale!” I’m surprised to see him, but it makes sense that he’s here. I mean, I’m the one who texted him the address, so I shouldn’t be too shocked, but I just didn’t think he’d actually come. Gale gives me a quick hug and moves to sit on the chair next to where I’m standing. I turn and lean my back against the railing. “I’m glad you came, when did you get here?”

“Just a few minutes ago. I saw you head out here as I was walking in, but I thought you might want a few minutes to yourself first.” This is why I love Gale. He understands me. 

I give him a grateful smile. “So what’s your costume? Peter Pan?”

Gale scowls and looks down at his head to toe green costume. “Robin Hood. Steal from the rich, give to the poor. You know.”

I laugh quietly as we begin to chat about our jobs at the Lodge and the Halloween Carnival he took Posy to earlier in the day. “So, tell me Catnip, why are you out here on the balcony all by yourself? What’re you running from?”

“God, you know me too well.” I sit down heavily on the chair next to him. “I don’t know, all kinds of things I guess,” I respond softly.

Gale puts his hand on my shoulder and looks me in the eye. “Come on, Katniss, spill it.”

I don’t want to hurt Gale, but I want to have someone to talk to about my feelings for Peeta. “I guess I’m just a little anxious,” I start to ramble. “I have all these feelings and I’m just not sure what to do with all of them. What if something doesn’t go right? Or what if I screw something up?” 

“Is this about Peeta?”

My mouth gapes open. “What do you…I…”

“Katniss, when you’re not hanging out with Peeta, you’re talking about him. I kind of figured that it was only a matter of time before you would begin to question your feelings for him.”

I’m embarrassed but a little relieved. I sigh heavily. “I’m not saying that I have feelings for him or that he has feelings for me, I just…I just feel differently for him than I do my other friends. He’s different.”

Gale rests his elbows on his knees and chuckles. “I know what you mean. The other day I ran into him when I was out jogging. He ended up joining me and we talked for a while. This whole thing would be better for me if he was easier to hate. I mean, besides whatever feelings I had for you, you’ve been my best friend for years. I always expected to give hell to whoever you dated, but I just can’t dislike this guy.”

“I know what you mean.”

Gale and I share a look and he pats my knee as he stands up. “Come on, Catnip, let’s go join the party.” I stand and brush off my skirt. but Gale grabs my arm and looks me in the eye. “Do what makes you happy, Katniss, and don’t shy away from it because you might be scared or nervous about what might or might not happen.”

“Geez, when did you get so smart?”

“I’ve always been much more intelligent than you, Catnip, you were too busy goofing around to ever notice it.”

I scowl and place my hands on my hips. “Uh huh. Do you want to go play a game of King’s Cup with me?”

“Pass. Actually, I thought I’d go talk to Madge. I haven’t talked to her in a while. Plus, I kinda like her French Maid costume.”

Whoa, wait. Gale and Madge? Sure, we were all friends in high school, but Gale and Madge only hung out when I was there, it was never just the two of them. Things really are changing. “Well, go get ‘em, tiger.”

Gale makes a face and rolls his eyes. “Calm down, matchmaker. I said I was going to go talk to her, not mount her.” I try to stifle a laugh, but I’m unsuccessful.

“Alright, Catnip, back to the party. Go find Peeta. You’ll feel better if you talk to him.” 

With a nod of my head, I open the glass door. Gale gives me a light kick on my butt. I swat at him and he chuckles. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

I smirk and with a new resolve, I head back into the party. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I barely make it into the living room before Finnick stumbles up to me, looking a little put off. “Hey, Finn, you okay?” I ask as I steady him.

“I, um, I…” Finnick never acts like this and I start to get a little concerned.

“Come on, buddy, let’s go take a little walk and get you sobered up.” I turn to find Gale by my side with his eyebrows raised.

“You got him?”

“Yeah, we’ll be fine. Go. Go talk to Madge, I think I see her in the kitchen.”

Gale shoots me a small smile and heads off to find Madge. I lead Finnick outside and loop my arm around his. “So are you drunk or what?”

“No, I’m not drunk,” he says quietly. 

“Then why are you acting so weird? Who hijacked my best friend?”

“It’s Annie,” he blurts out. “Look, I gotta be honest with you, Kat. A couple of weeks ago Annie and I started hooking up.”

My jaw drops and I stop in my tracks. “Holy shit, Finn! Wait, did this happen before or after you guys stumbled in the apartment when Peeta and I were watching a movie?”

“It happened a couple nights before we interrupted your movie—we need to talk more about that, by the way—and it’s been going on ever since.”

I choose to ignore his comment about Peeta and me. “So are you guys together or are you friends with benefits?”

Finnick looks me in the eye. I’ve never seen him so serious. He grasps my hands. “Kat, I think I’m in love with her.” He sighs. “I don’t even know how this happened, it’s like she snuck up on me or something, but now I can see things so clearly now. She’s perfect,” he whispers. He sounds so reverent that I have to try not to giggle a little.

“That’s wonderful, but why the sudden meltdown? Did you just figure this out now?”

“No, I figured it out a couple days ago. But while I was just sitting there, looking at her in her mermaid costume with that bikini top and that skirt thing she has tied around her waist and her legs…”

I cough. “Finn?” 

“Sorry. I was just looking at her and she was laughing and I just realized that she’s it for me. She’s the one I’m supposed to love. I don’t know, everything just kinda came crashing in on me and I’m sure drinking didn’t help things. Then I saw you and just knew that if I didn’t talk about it with someone that I’d explode. So now we’re here.” 

I look back up at Finnick, his eyes so earnest and sincere even though his face is framed by Reptar’s foam teeth, and I know that he’s dead serious.

“Finn, have you ever thought about telling all of this to Annie?”

His eyes go wide and as he shakes his head as his dinosaur tail flaps behind him. “What if she says no?” 

“What if she says ‘yes’ and you get everything you’ve ever wanted?” 

And it’s true, because deep down, Finnick is the most romantic person I know. He tries to come off as a lady’s man, but his Casanova persona is the only way he knows to get any attention, so he feels forced to put on this act that he doesn’t really believe in. Befriending him has allowed me to see this side of Finnick I don’t think a lot of people know. But Annie knows.

“It doesn’t have to be tonight,” I continue, “but I think you should talk to her about this. Chances are she’s feeling a little shy and nervous herself, maybe she’s waiting for you to make the first move.”

Finnick nods his head before he crushes me in a hug. “Thanks, Katniss.” 

He releases me and beams before taking my arm and walking me back to the party. “So, tell me about you and Peeta!”

I groan, but realize it’s my turn to spill. So I do. I tell him everything; all the things I wanted to tell Gale but couldn’t. How our friendship has taken off in a way I could never have foreseen, how we keep having these moments where I feel so attracted to him, how seeing him with Delly and Johanna made me insanely jealous.

“He has the female entourage of a gay man, Finn. Which isn’t surprising since he’s so, you know, wonderful. I just don’t really know what to do.”

“Kat, I think you should talk to Peeta.”

“People keep saying that.” 

Finnick laughs. “Because it’s true! Looks like I’m not the only one who got snuck up on.”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen!”

“I know what you mean.” 

Finnick and I head back into the party and he ditches me to go sit with Annie for a while. Before he leaves he squeezes my hand and mouths a silent “thank you” to me. I squeeze his hand back and I’m so grateful that we were able to get to know each other that day in the library during our freshman year. 

I see Madge sitting on the couch, laughing at a joke our neighbor Leevy just told her, and I decide to join them. After playing a round of King’s Cup with Madge, Leevy, and a few other people in the living room, I spy Peeta sitting by the snack table and decide to make my way over to him. He’s staring at the ground and I lightly kick his shoe to get his attention.

“Howdy, partner.” 

He looks up at me lazily, like he’s about to fall asleep. “Hey there. Having a good time tonight?”

“Yeah, it’s been alright. You look beat! It’s not even that late, old man.”

“Hey, some people have been up since 6:30 in the morning working on lesson plans and homework.” He glances at his phone and groans. “Ugh, it’s really only 12:30? Freshman year I was out until 4:30 on Halloween night. What’s happening to me?”

“At twenty-two you just don’t bounce back like you used to,” I joke. “Actually, I’m kinda done with this party, too. Want to catch the campus shuttle with me?”

I take in his bloodshot eyes and slumped shoulders-he looks like he’s about to fall asleep any minute now. 

“God, yes. Let me just tell Annie that I’m heading home and then I’ll be right out.”

I nod and head off to tell Madge the same thing. I find her upside down doing a keg stand and although I’m pretty sure she heard me, I decide to text her just in case to make sure she got the message. 

As I hit send, Peeta walks up and tells me he’s ready to go. We head out to the shuttle stop and sit on the bench while we wait for our ride. He throws his arm around me and I relax into him, grateful to sit and be still with him, even for just a moment. Eventually Peeta squeezes my shoulder. “I feel like we haven’t been able to see each other very much lately. How have you been?”

I tilt my head up to look at him. “I know what you mean. I’ve missed you, buddy.” 

Peeta smiles knowingly. “Mmmm…is that why you were giving Delly death glares the other day in Starbucks?”

I scoff and flush with embarrassment. “I did not give her ‘death glares.’”

Peeta gives me a small nudge. “Yes, you did.”

“I did not,” I whine as I shake my head.

“Yes, you did,” Peeta says as he inches closer to me.

“Nope,” I respond back as my eyes briefly dart to his lips.

“Yep.” 

“Peeta!” I lean forward a bit so our noses are touching and our eyes are slightly crossed. “No, I wasn’t,” I whisper.

“Humph.” 

I’m about to open my mouth to respond when I focus in on his eyes. They’re the darkest blue I’ve ever seen them and his eyelashes look impossibly long and blonde and beautiful.

And then my lips are touching his.

For a second Peeta seems surprised; his eyes widen, but then they close and his hand finds my side as he deepens the kiss. My entire body feels like it’s on fire, as though it’s tingling from my lips all the way down to the tips of my fingers and toes. I want more. My hand moves from my lap onto Peeta’s leg, and when he slips his tongue into my mouth I grip his thigh and he groans in my mouth. Peeta’s arm is wrapped tightly around me, having dropped from my shoulders to my waist. His fingers grazing my bare skin while his other hand tangles in my hair, bringing me even closer to him, if that’s even possible. 

Suddenly, my phone starts ringing and we spring apart. I hastily try to compose myself as I look to see who’s calling.

“It’s my mom,” I say through shaky breaths. “She’s on shift at the hospital tonight, she probably just butt-dialed me.”

Peeta nods his head slowly, his eyes still dark and hungry, and then starts to lean in to me again. Our lips are almost touching when we’re blinded by a set of bright lights. The shuttle is here. 

Peeta squeezes my shoulder and gives me the smallest of smiles before we compose ourselves enough to get on the shuttle. As we take our seats, my phone rings again.

“That’s weird, my mom’s texted me twice and now she’s calling me again. Let me get this real fast.”

“I hope it’s not anything serious,” Peeta says with a concerned look on his face. 

I answer the phone. “Hey, mom, what’s going on.”

“Katniss!” She sounds out of breath. “Katniss, I—” I hear a nurse call out to her.

“Lillian, we’ve stabilized the twenty-five year old male we just brought in. The one you said you knew? You should get in here.” 

“Mom, what’s going on? You’re scaring me...” Peeta grabs my hand and holds it tightly.

“Katniss, it’s Gale. There’s been an accident. You need to get down here.”

 

The next couple of hours are a blur. Peeta offers to drive me to the hospital, but I know how tired he is, so I tell him to get some sleep and maybe we’ll see each other in the morning. As soon as I’m back in my apartment, I tear off my gypsy costume and change into a pair of jeans and a University of Panem sweatshirt. I rip off my headscarf and bangles and throw my hair up into a messy ponytail before I head out the door to drive to Panem County Hospital. 

I get to the hospital in record time and park my car in the first available spot I see. I burst into the emergency room where I see my mother sitting with her arms wrapped around Hazelle, and Rory and Vick sitting there looking like zombies as they stare out into space. I mean, they literally look like zombies; they’re still in their Halloween costumes. 

“Mom!” The group looks up as I arrive and my mother stands to embrace me in a tight hug. 

“What’s going on, where’s Gale?”

Hazelle sniffs. “Gale’s getting prepped for surgery. A few broken ribs, a ruptured spleen, and a punctured lung, along with a broken leg.”

My stomach drops and I try to hold back my tears. “But he’s going to be okay, right Mom? You’re going to make sure he’s okay, right?”

My mother rubs soothing circles on my back and it feels so good, so comforting, that I’m reminded of what it was like to be a little girl, lying in her arms as she soothed me back to sleep after a nightmare. Only this isn’t a nightmare, this is real.

“Of course, I am. We are all going to do our very best to make sure Gale is alright.” She turns to Hazelle. “I’ve got to head back to help with Gale’s surgery, but as soon as it’s over I’ll come out so you can see him in recovery. I’ve got to go.” And with that, she’s gone.

I sit down in the chair my mother just occupied and turn to Hazelle. “What happened?”

She wipes her face. “Drunk driver. A guy named Romulus Thread was driving; apparently he’s some big wig for the state and was visiting our area for some business. Anyway, he was drunk and went barreling through the intersection as Gale was turning left on Seam Street. Thread was dead on arrival.”

Vick gives a shaky sigh and rests his elbows on his knees as he drops his head down. He looks so much like Gale that I feel myself start to tear up again.

“Where’s Posy?”

Hazelle blows her nose into a tissue, and Rory pipes up. “Prim, Vick, and I were all at the same party when my mom called. She came home with us and is staying with Posy. You might want to text her.”

I nod my head in understanding and shoot Prim a text letting her know where I am and that I’ll let her when I find out more.

“So now we wait?”

Hazelle nods her head. “So now we wait.”  
___________________________________________

It feels as though we’ve been here for days, but really, we’ve only been here for a couple of hours. I’ve always wondered how people could just sit in the hospital and wait for their loved ones to come out, but now I know that they do it because there is no other alternative. We have to be here, we have to know the minute when Gale is fine.

My mother reenters the waiting room, looking tired, but relieved, and comes over to us. “Gale is in recovery. The surgery was a success. His lung was not as badly damaged as we thought it was. It looks as though quite a bit of glass hit him and he’ll have some severe scarring on his back and torso, but otherwise he should be fine. Would you like to go see him, Hazelle?”

Hazelle nods and when she stands she hugs my mother tight. “Thank you, Lily.”

Eventually Gale is moved to a room on the third floor and we are allowed to visit him. After Hazelle, Rory, and Vick each see him, Hazelle decides to take the boys home to get a couple hours of sleep and relieve Prim of her babysitting duties.

Hazelle looks at me and says, “Prim’s such an angel for staying with Posy. I’m sure she’ll be happy to sleep on her own bed.”

I glance over at the clock and note that by now it’s almost 7:00 in the morning. “Actually, would you mind if Prim stayed at your house for a little longer? My mom went straight home after her shift to sleep, and Prim doesn’t have a car to drive home. Would it be alright if I picked her up on my way home after I’m done visiting Gale?”

She smiles and places a hand on my cheek. “Of course, you know you girls are family. Besides, I’m sure Prim’s probably passed out on Posy’s bed with her anyways. When you come over just use the spare key to let yourself in, ‘kay?”

“Sure.” I give both Rory and Vick a hug goodbye and brace myself as I head into Gale’s room to see for myself how he’s really doing.

My mother told me that he’d be on some pretty strong medications and that he likely wouldn’t wake up for a few more hours, but I wanted to see him anyways. He’s hooked up to a couple of machines and his leg is in traction above his bed, wrapped tightly in a cast. I sit down in the chair next to him and carefully take his hand.

“Gale,” I whisper quietly. I rub soft circles on the back of his hand and just stare at him. I squeeze my eyes shut. All of the emotions that I’ve been feeling have hit me in the face and I feel like crying and sleeping at the same time. I lean in and give him a soft kiss on the cheek. “Damn you, Gale. You scared me.” 

I must have fallen asleep because when I come to I suddenly realize that my head is resting next to Gale’s on his pillow and I shoot up in surprise. I hear a soft cough behind me and turn to see who is there.

Standing there with two coffees in his hands and a somber look on his face, is Peeta. “Peeta…I…what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see how Gale was doing and see if maybe you were still here or not. Have you slept at all, besides just now?”

I stretch my back a little and crack my neck. A glance at the clock tells me it’s just past ten in the morning. “No, I haven’t.” 

Peeta nods his head and looks at me curiously. I’m still holding Gale’s hand. I let go of it and find myself blushing. I open my mouth to explain, but Peeta beats me to it.

“It’s okay, Katniss, you don’t have to explain anything.” He lets out a defeated breath and his shoulders slump. “Why don’t you go home and get some sleep, I’ll sit with Gale for a little bit.”

I feel physically and emotionally drained. It feels like my kiss with Peeta happened weeks ago, when really, it’s only been a few hours. Thinking about our kiss makes me wonder what he must think about seeing me sleeping next to Gale, but I honestly just don’t feel up to worrying about that right now. It’s time for me to go home and sleep.

“Okay. Thanks, Peeta.” 

“Of course.”


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, everyone, for the outpouring of support that you've given me. I wish I could respond to every review, but please know that they each mean so much to me and I am so grateful for your kind words! Thank you, pookieh, for being a great support system and for doing such a wonderful job transforming these chapters into something worth reading. Thank you, soamazinghere, for your edits and support and for just being wonderful. Thank you, swishywillow, I'm so happy to be getting to know you, and I appreciate all your support! I think you'll find this chapter to be both exciting and frustrating! :)
> 
> I wrote an Annie Cresta one-shot, In the Sand. Check it out on my profile!
> 
> I do not own the Hunger Games trilogy. For reals.
> 
> Hang out with me on Tumblr at english1823.

CHAPTER 6

A few days after his surgery, Gale finally opened his eyes.

I wasn't there when it happened, but Rory said his mom cried and Posy insisted on crawling into the bed with Gale and stayed there for the rest of their visit. It took him a day or two before he felt up to sitting up on his own and moving around a little.

When I walk into the room, I'm pleased to see him sitting up and quietly reading a book to Posy, who is curled up into his side. Vick is watching television next to them. I knock softly on the door.

"Katniss!" Posy shouts with excitement and Gale winces at the loud voice in his ear while he tries to shush her. "Katniss," she repeats with a whisper.

"Hey, Posy. I heard that you've been a pretty good nurse," I say, nodding my head at Gale.

Posy beams and Vick rolls his eyes. "She's been hovering all over him since we got here."

"He needed my help!" Posy smacks her brother. "You've been sitting there like a bump on a log ever since mom dropped us off."

Sensing a fight, I open my mouth to say something, but Gale quickly intervenes. "Hey, Pose, would you do me a favor? Will you and Vick go get us a snack from the vending machines? This hospital food sucks."

"Sure thing, brother!" Posy says with a smile. Vick grumbles something about missing the game before Posy grins and frog marches him out the door.

I take Vick's chair and turn to Gale, taking his hand in mine. We share a look. He already knows what I'm thinking. I release a shaky sigh and squeeze his hand tight; it's all the communication we need.

"How are you doing? You look better than you did the other day."

"Eh, I've been better, but I'm glad to be sitting up now instead of having everyone hover awkwardly over me," he says as the corners of his mouth lift up. "My family hasn't given me two minutes to myself. Posy's eleven but she's acting like she's five all over again."

"She was scared, Gale! We all were."

He looks down for a moment, like he's about to say something, when there's a knock at the door.

"Gale!" It's Madge.

Gale tries to sit more upright. "Madge, I'm glad you came back," he says with a small smile.

I shift to look at her. "You were here earlier?" My eyes shift back and forth between the two of them. "Did I interrupt something?"

Madge waves me off and moves to sit on the other side of Gale. "I told you I'd come back." She turns to me and says, "I was here this morning but I had to go to class."

She sits quietly with her hands fidgeting in her lap and biting her lip. It's a nervous habit of hers and I think that maybe Gale isn't the only one with a little crush.

Biting my own lip to hide a smile I respond, "That's really nice of you, Madge. Seems to me you two have gotten in some good bonding time, huh?"

Gale shoots me a look while Madge blushes and I know that my suspicions have been confirmed. As I settle back into my chair and grab the remote, I vow to ask Madge about it later.

Looking over to Gale I ask, "Alright, sickly, your choice. Southpark or Family Guy?" Gale grins at me and the three of us kick back while we wait for Vick and Posy to return with our snacks.

Over the next week, between Gale's recovery, my schoolwork, and teaching archery lessons at the Lodge, my time with Peeta has been greatly compromised. Neither of us has said anything about our kiss, but that, in combination with our moment at the hospital, has put an unexpected strain on our friendship, or whatever the hell this is.

He's been slightly distant, but I've tried to chalk it up to him being busy with his own life. It hasn't stopped me from missing him. Even when I was sitting in Gale's hospital room watching him kick Vick's ass in checkers, my mind kept drifting to Peeta and what he was up to. I felt too nervous to text him, though. My attraction to him has confused me; I find myself unsure how to act around Peeta now.

About a week after Gale is released from the hospital, I decide that enough is enough. I need to see Peeta face-to-face. I text him and he suggests having lunch in his classroom that day.

On my way over to District 12 High, I decide to stop and get the two of us a pick-me-up at the coffee shop down the street from my apartment. I'm trying to figure out what I want when I hear an excited squeal behind me.

"Katniss!" I look over my shoulder and see Delly sitting at a small table, waving me over. While I no longer see her as someone to be jealous of, and I think Peeta has sufficiently proved his interest in me, I am a little wary about making small talk with the overly enthusiastic Delly. I look at her and see the genuine smile she has on her face, and I figure it won't hurt to talk to her for a couple minutes. The place isn't busy and I'm early anyways, so I walk over to say hello.

Delly stands and pulls me into a hug. "Hey, how have you been? What's new with you?"

"I've been okay, same ol', same ol'. How about you?"

"Oh, I'm great! Actually, I'm here on a date, but they're in the bathroom."

I nod my head in understanding and I can't hide that I'm a little curious to see whom she's with. "Oh, that's nice-"

"Brainless! Stealing my woman?" Johanna walks over and slings an arm around Delly's shoulders. Wait, what?

Delly giggles and slaps Johanna's arm playfully. "Jo, don't be rude!"

I shake my head as if to clear it and it dawns on me. Johanna is Delly's date.

"Nice to see you too, Johanna. I didn't know you two…were…uh—" I stutter.

"-Lesbian lovers?" Johanna supplies with a smirk.

"I was going to say dating, but sure?"

Johanna laughs easily and Delly continues to giggle along side her. "Technically, I'm bisexual, but Delly here is full-blown lesbo. I'm more of a 'date who catches my eye and worry about the rest later' kind of girl."

Delly beams and gives Johanna a kiss on the cheek. In that moment I blush when I remember my jealousy when I saw Delly getting coffee with Peeta. Looking back, Peeta's red faced snickering over my reaction makes a lot more sense; he probably had a blast watching me squirm. That little shit. I'll deal with him later. For now, I cock my head to the side, studying the way the two women look at each other. I smile at Delly and Johanna and announce, "You two are actually a really cute couple. And kudos, Delly, for taming the beast."

The three of us chat for another couple of minutes before I place my order with the barista and hurry to make sure I meet Peeta on time. There aren't any students milling around when I swing into the visitor's lot at the high school and park my car. Good. Lunch hasn't started yet.

As I walk up to Peeta's classroom, I peek through the small window in the door and see that he's still in the middle of teaching. He gestures wildly and the class laughs at whatever he's saying. He grins right along with them and loosens his tie slightly. The lesson must be over because the students begin chatting to one another and start packing their backpacks. When Peeta looks to the door and sees me standing there, he waves me in.

Great. Now I get to walk into the room and have thirty pairs of eyes staring at me. I open the door and notice a few heads turned in my direction, but most of the students are too absorbed with looking at their phones to pay much attention to me. Peeta has just started taking a few steps towards me when a student in the front row raises his hand and asks Peeta to help him with something. He gives me a look to let me know he'll get to me in a minute and turns to his student, who is pointing something out in his book.

Peeta braces one arm on the back of the chair and the other on the desk as he leans over for a closer look at what the student is pointing at, giving me the most delicious view of his ass. I decide that Peeta needs to wear dress pants all the time, with the way his navy pants cling so perfectly over the curves of his hips and backside, I can't help but stare. He straightens up and turns to look at me, his blue and yellow plaid shirt bringing out the blue of his eyes and the rolled up sleeves showcasing the definition of his forearms.

Can these damn kids get out of here already?

The bell rings, signaling that there really is a god. The students spring up from their seats and file out of the classroom, some of them shooting me smirks as if they know that I'm here for something other than lunch. If Peeta hadn't already informed me that his classroom is monitored, I would be very tempted to do all kinds of wicked things to him on his desk. Technically it's Haymitch's desk, but who wants to think of that buzz kill?

Finally, the room empties and we're left alone. I cross over to his desk and set down the coffees. Peeta is still standing in the middle of the room, staring at me and making me feel very self-conscious and underdressed in my jeans and University of Panem sweatshirt.

"What?" I ask nervously.

This seems to snap Peeta out of whatever trance he was in. "Mmm, nothing. Your hair looks nice today." I raise my eyebrows. My hair is down and wavy and messy; I kind of thought it looked a little wild, but I guess he likes it. Duly noted.

"So what did you pack for us today?" We normally trade off who is in charge of the food when we have lunch together, and today happens to be Peeta's turn.

He reaches under his desk to retrieve a duffel bag. As he begins to pull out containers, the door opens and a large belch echoes throughout the room.

"Sweetheart! Great to see you! Hey, Blondie, whatcha got there?"

Peeta grimaces. "Lamb stew and cheese buns. Katniss stopped by to have some lunch with me."

"So I'm interrupting a date, huh? I don't think that was part of the deal when the school hired you, is it?"

Peeta blushes. "It's not a date and I'm free to spend my lunch hour however I please."

Haymitch waves him off and starts to open the container with the cheese buns. "Well, since it's not a 'date,' you won't mind me joining you then, eh?"

Peeta looks to me and I scowl. This is not how I wanted to spend my break between classes. Haymitch picks up my coffee and takes a large gulp. "And you brought me coffee, too! Thanks, Sweetheart! I was beginning to think you didn't like me."

I snatch my coffee out of his hands and pull the lid off. "You thought correctly. And that's my coffee, old man."

"Yeah, yeah." Haymitch smirks and turns to Peeta. "Well, what're you waiting for, let's eat!"

Even though Peeta made my favorite meal, the food was definitely not what I came here for. I was actually hoping for some time alone with Peeta, but Haymitch's ramblings fill the forty-five minute block we had to eat. Once he's had his fill, Haymitch shoos Peeta away from the desk so he can look over his lesson plans for the next two class periods. Peeta rolls his eyes and offers to walk me out to my car.

As soon as the classroom door closes behind us, we look at each other and laugh. Peeta exhales a big sigh and rolls his eyes. "Sorry about that, Haymitch has the absolute worst timing."

I grin back at him. "Not that listening to him talk about old war stories during lunch wasn't fun, but…"

Peeta snorts. "Can you believe Thanksgiving is only two days away?"

"This month has been so crazy, Thanksgiving kind of snuck up on me a little."

Peeta nods. "How's Gale doing?"

"He's doing much better. Not back to work yet, but he's started physical therapy, which is a good thing. He's pretty bummed that he'll miss playing in our Turkey Bowl this year."

Peeta gives me a quizzical look. "What's a Turkey Bowl?"

"The day after Thanksgiving our friends and family get together at Seam Park to play football. I was actually going to ask you to join us, if you're free."

"Sure, that sounds like fun."

"So I'll see you there?"

"I wouldn't miss it."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Up until four years ago, Thanksgiving was a pretty quiet affair at my house. After my dad died and my mom was deep in her depression, there wasn't much holding our family together or to be thankful for. Thanksgiving was usually rather subdued, especially since we don't have any relatives nearby. Around the time I started high school and my mom surfaced from her haze, she decided that she didn't want to miss out on anything important with Prim and me, so Thanksgiving dinners became our chance for the three of us to bond together. Until I met Finnick, that is.

I'll never forget seeing him on the top floor of the University Library the day before Thanksgiving, crying over losing his grandmother Mags, the last person that really loved him. Inviting him to join my family for Thanksgiving, and eventually Christmas and Easter dinners, was one of the best decisions I ever made.

As I look up from the bowl of mashed potatoes I'm currently mixing, I see Finnick and Prim hanging up the ridiculous turkey hands they insisted we make the night before.

"Finn, we're twenty-two years old. Don't you think we're a little old to be doing this?" I asked.

Finnick beamed at me. "Never too old, Katniss! Come on, let's turn on some goofy ABC Family movie and make turkeys to decorate for tomorrow!"

"Yeah, Katniss! Come on, it's going to be so much fun!" Prim cried out excitedly.

So that's how I spent my Wednesday night; ditching homework and sitting in our living room with Prim and Finnick, tracing my hand on a ridiculous number of pieces of brown construction paper. Finnick usually stays with us at our house from Wednesday through Friday of our break, just as he did that first year when I felt too bad to leave him by himself in his dorm room during the holidays.

Being an only child, I think Finnick spent a lot of lonely holidays sitting with his elderly grandmother, waiting on parents that would never come home. So I guess it doesn't surprise me to see how enthusiastic he is when we celebrate all together; he's just happy to have a family that loves him.

My mother walks into the kitchen, shaking her head. "How late did those two stay up making turkeys?"

"I fell asleep on the couch around midnight, but I know that they stayed up to watch the movie marathon on ABC, so I'm not too sure when they fell asleep."

My mother chuckles. "I figured as much when I came home to find the three of you spread out across my living room floor." She takes a peek under the foil where our turkey is resting before calling out to Finnick. "Finn, dear, I think the turkey is ready to be carved!"

"Coming, Mrs. E!"

Soon the turkey is carved, the table is set, and we sit down to eat. After helping myself to seconds and thirds of almost everything, I lean back in my chair, uncomfortably full. Prim lies down on the floor next to the table, her go-to move when she's had too much to eat. Finnick eventually sets down his fork and pushes his plate away. "That was way too delicious. Thank you so much."

My mother smiles and pats Finnick's hand. "It was no trouble, I'm glad that you're here to enjoy it with us."

Finnick tears up for a moment but chokes them back. "I'm glad I'm here, too."

She squeezes his hand and gets up to start taking dishes into the kitchen. After we help clean up, my mother goes upstairs to take a nap and Prim heads to her bedroom to retrieve a couple of board games for the three of us to play. Both Finnick and I rest on the couch, rubbing our full stomachs.

Finnick turns to me and asks, "So, are you ready for some football tomorrow?"

I groan. "Please don't talk about any physical activity, I can't even think about it right now."

"Right, sorry." He's quiet for a minute. "I invited Annie."

"You did? That's awesome! Have you two talked yet? About your feelings for her?"

Finnick starts to grin slowly. "We might have."

My eyes widen and I smack his arm. "Why didn't you tell me? What did she say?"

Finnick holds his breath and then releases it out loudly before he says, "She told me that she's been in love with me since she first met me, that I was the one too stupid to notice."

"What! That's wonderful! When did this happen?"

"About two weeks ago. We kind of wanted to keep it between the two of us for now, to keep it special, you know? But I've been dying to tell you and I just couldn't hold it in any longer."

I crawl across the couch and give Finnick a tight hug. "I'm so happy for you, Finn."

When I release him, we share a smile and Finnick is positively glowing. Prim bounces into the room holding a stack of board games. "Let's get his party started!"

Finnick smirks. "Prepare to get your asses handed to you, Everdeens."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I'm loath to admit it, but last night both Finn and Prim handed my ass to me on a silver platter. But it's fine, because now that we're at the Turkey Bowl and they're on the opposing team, I'm gonna kick some ass.

I'm excited when Peeta and I are on the same team as Madge and Vick; I figure that playing football will be a good excuse to get my hands on him, even if it is just playful. However, I'm disappointed when Peeta makes no effort to be especially close to me, even during our team huddles he makes every effort to be on the opposite side of the circle as me, and I have to admit that I'm a little confused by his behavior. On the surface I can see that he is trying to have fun with the game, but I can tell by his distant behavior and forced smiles that there is something off about him.

An hour later and I haven't kicked any asses. I blame Madge. That girl can't catch a football to save her life. As we walk off the field, I give her a playful shove and she blushes. "So, I guess I won't be winning any MVP awards, huh?"

"No, probably not," I laugh. "But that's okay. Who knew Annie was going to show up and be such a warrior? We should have had her on our team!"

Madge makes a face. "I know, right? Speaking of Annie, where is she?"

I roll my eyes, knowing full well where she probably is. "I think she and Finn snuck off for a 'victory party' under the bleachers. I'm sure once the food is done grilling they'll be the first ones in line." Remembering my vow from the hospital, I lean closer to Madge and say, "So, tell me, how long have you had feelings for Gale?"

Madge blanches and starts to stutter. I give her a knowing look and she finally stammers out, "I-I…oh, Katniss, I'm so sorry! I know things have been tense between you and Gale, but I can't help how I feel and—"

"Madge!" I interrupt. "Madge, it's okay. Truthfully, back in high school I always kind of thought you two would eventually get together."

She turns to me with such a hopeful look on her face, and I can't help but soften. "Really?"

"Really. Gale and I…it's like putting fire and fire together, you know? Eventually I think it would have blown up in our faces. Besides, there's no real passion between us. We were only ever meant to be friends."

Madge lets out a long breath. "So, you wouldn't mind if we were together?"

"I think you two would be perfect together. Honest."

Madge giggles and loops her arm through mine as we head over to the barbecue. I see Peeta talking to Hazelle, laughing as they discuss marinades or something. I give Madge a little hug and she kisses me on the cheek. She lets go of my arm and makes her way over to sit next to Gale, who's been watching us play from the sidelines. I grin and head over to join Peeta.

"Hey, there."

Peeta smiles and throws an arm around my shoulders and says, "Good game. We make a pretty good team, don't we?"

"Mmm, we're not so bad," I respond back jokingly. Peeta's smile drops a little before he leans down to whisper in my ear. "Do you mind going on a little walk with me?"

My heartbeat stutters. "Um, sure?"

"Alright, let's go." We manage to slip away from the party undetected and wander over to an empty swing set. We sit next to each other on the swings and Peeta twists sideways so he can face me. Peeta stares at me intently, looking as if he is internally debating what he is about to say.

"Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?" he finally asks.

What? I'm surprised. I was certain he was going to jump right into something serious, but instead he disarms me with small talk? I fight back a frown "It was fine. Finn came over as usual and after eating we played board games. What about you?"

Peeta pauses before answering, uncertainty flashing across his face. "It was okay."

"Peeta," I say seriously.

He groans and drops his head to break our gaze. "It was awful. I mean, it was fun to see Rye, and Bann brought over his fiancée, Daisy. My dad was really excited to have all of us together under one roof…"

"But your mom?" I supply

Peeta huffs. "She just kept going on and on about my decision to become a teacher. How she was worried about my future. How I wasn't going to make enough. How my resume won't be strong enough to get a job right away. The whole time I just kept feeling like I was the one who wasn't enough," he finishes softly, still refusing to look up at me.

"When I was younger she was always so focused on the bakery and taking us kids to all these clubs and activities, pushing us so hard because nothing we could ever do would be good enough. We had to prove our worth through accomplishments, titles, and trophies. Making me feel like, if I don't have all these awards and things going for me, the world will stop and see me for what I really am, which isn't good enough. Like, me, just on my own isn't good enough."

I get up from my swing to stand in front of him and gently place my hand on his shoulder. I shift my face so that I can look him squarely in the eye. "Peeta, you are so much more than you or your mother give you credit for. You're one of the best people I know. You're wonderful."

He looks into my eyes and I can see his insecurities, the demons that tell him he isn't good enough, that nothing he does is good enough. It makes my heart ache to picture the little boy who diligently followed his mother's orders, hoping she'd stop and tell him how great he was and how much she loved him. But Mrs. Mellark wasn't the kind of woman to ever do that. I know that he'll never believe it, that he's truly wanted and loved, until he's beat over the head with it.

I lean in to kiss him, but Peeta turns his head and lightly pushes me away.

"Kat," he says gently. "I know you're trying to make me feel better, but if you kiss me, I need to know that it's because you really want me. I can't half-ass this. If I'm going to have you, it has to be all of you." He punctuates the gravity of his statement by putting his hand on my heart. "I can't have just a piece of you."

Well holy shit. I take a moment to try and figure out exactly how to respond to that, but I feel my mouth opening and closing like a fish. I think it's pretty obvious by now that I'm attracted to Peeta, but does that mean that I want a relationship with him? Do I want all of that? This is all too overwhelming. "I-I don't…I don't know what to say."

Peeta's face falls, sadness apparent in his eyes. "Well, let me know when you figure it out." There's a pause and I feel like my heart is breaking. "I think I'm going to go home."

"Peeta…"

He looks up at me and places his hands on my arms. "I'm okay, Katniss." He squeezes my arms and then lets go. "My mother didn't want me to be out too late anyways. I think she was planning for us all to have dinner before Bann and Daisy have to fly back to California."

Peeta is looking down at his hands, almost refusing to look at me. I can't help but feel rejected and a little confused. I thought that he liked me, that he would want he would want me to kiss him. Never being much for words, actions just seem like a much easier way for me to express what I'm feeling. I try not to let my disappointment show as I respond. "Oh, okay. I'm glad you came, though."

"Me too," he says. I take a step back as he rises from the swing, and I stand there dumbfounded as he starts to walk away. He calls back over his shoulder, "I'll be seeing you."

I reluctantly walk back to where everyone is already eating and make myself a plate, but my food sits untouched; I'm too distracted to eat. Madge and Finnick keep shooting me curious looks, but they don't mention Peeta's absence, perhaps sensing that it was best for me to be left alone right now. Peeta's words sounded so final and so sad, but I didn't really have a chance to process everything he said, let alone respond to it appropriately. One minute he was so upset talking about his family, but then he suddenly changed direction and what he said about us… I mean, how am I supposed to prove to him that I really do want him? Because sitting here, missing him, I can see now I know that he's what I want, all of him and all of me, wrapped up together because that's the way it's supposed to be. I should have never let him walk away from me, I was just too stupid and surprised by what he was saying to formulate the proper response. But how in the world am I supposed to convince him that he's what I want when I let him walk away from me and I didn't chase after him?

Then it hits me. I know what to do. I toss my food in the trash and say a quick goodbye to my family and friends before hurrying back to my apartment.

A few hours later, I'm standing at the door to Peeta's apartment, ringing the doorbell. I wait anxiously, happy to see that it's him who answers, looking scruffy in his sweats and undershirt, hair rumpled and falling slightly into his eyes. He's never been more attractive to me than he is right now. I thrust out the container I'm holding towards his chest and pluck up the nerve to tell him what I need to say, because I know he needs to hear it.

"They're peanut butter bars. You love peanut butter and chocolate and these are an old family recipe of mine that I thought you would like. My dad used to make them for me all the time, whenever I was upset or hurt. He would make them and sing to me and I would know that I was loved, that I wasn't alone. I made them for you because I don't want you to feel sad anymore and I don't want you to feel unloved, because you should never, ever have to feel that way. I care about you, Peeta, so much. I'm sorry I was stupid and let you walk away from me earlier today." I pause for a moment. "So here. Please take them. Please take me. You mean so much to me, Peeta."

Peeta stares back at me for a moment before he takes the box from my hands. He looks down at them for a long time before he looks up at me through his eyelashes. "Are you going to sing to me too?"

"If that's what it takes."

"Well, come on in then."

When I walk in, Annie and Johanna are sitting on the couch, gawking at me with their mouths open. I blush, knowing that they've just heard my little speech. Peeta clears his throat. "Why don't we go to my room?"

Annie and Johanna's mouths are still wide open as their heads turn to watch us walk into Peeta's room. He closes the door behind him as I survey the room. I've never been in here before, but I feel welcomed the moment I step foot inside. His bed is pushed into the corner of the wall, under windows that I'm sure let in a beautiful light during the day. His desk and dresser are fairly neat, but what catches my eye are the paintings which are scattered all about the room. I walk up to one, studying the beautiful flowers and trees within a gorgeous meadow.

"This looks like heaven," I say, peering over my shoulder back at Peeta.

He blushes and sets the container down on his desk. "Thanks." He sits down on the bed and gestures to the empty spot next to him. "You can sit down if you want. I think I need a moment to process everything."

I watch him, looking so shy and sweet sitting there on his bed. Tentatively, I shrug off my jacket and toe off my shoes before taking a seat next to him on the bed. He looks surprised. I think he expected me to sit at his desk, but I don't want to be any further away from him than I have to be. I scoot back to lean against his headboard and Peeta shifts his body, mimicking my position. I rest my head against his shoulder and he doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around me. My hand finds his leg and I start to draw little circles on his thigh. His hold around me tightens, but soon the position becomes a little uncomfortable and I start to shift.

"Do you want me to move over a little?" I nod and Peeta repositions himself so that he's lying down on the bed and I'm tucked in next to him. I hook my leg so that it rests between his thighs and instead of drawing circles on his leg, my hand dips into the collar of his shirt to touch his bare chest. He shudders and his fingers lightly trace up and down my arms.

I don't know how long we lay there, slowly and silently testing each other. My hips shift closer to him. His hands move from my arms to my waist and then to my hips. Tentatively, his arm hovers above my hip before resting there. I nuzzle myself into his chest so that I'm lying half on top of him. He sighs as he wraps his arms around my back, pulling me tight to him. But his hands still aren't where I want them to be. He's not getting the hint and I'm not confident enough to tell him what I want.

"Katniss?" he asks quietly.

I look up at him and our eyes lock. Gradually, I guide one of his arms that's resting on my back and shift it so that it's resting on my heart.

He inhales a shaky breath. "So this is what you want?"

I nod my head and shift his hand so that it's fully resting on my breast. "Yes."


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know none of you want to read this because you want to get to the good stuff, so I'll make it brief. Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to review HFT, I know I haven't gotten to respond to everyone yet, but I am working on it! Thank you to pookieh for being my beta and a wonderful support to me. Thank you soamazinghere and alonglineofbread for prereading and for being such supportive friends. Ladies, I cannot thank you three enough for reading my first awkward attempt at smut. You three are the best!
> 
> I do not own The Hunger Games.
> 
> Let's hang out on tumblr: english1823

CHAPTER 7

The heat of his hand on my chest is almost too much for me to handle, but it's the smile he gives me that pushes me over the edge. He is beaming, more radiant than the sun, and I am wrapped in his arms and so very happy to be there. All of a sudden, I'm pushed onto my back and his lips are on mine, his tongue entering my mouth. I can't help myself and I moan against his lips, my hips bucking up and pushing into his. He smiles against my mouth and his hand squeezes my breast.

It's been way too long since I last kissed someone. Besides that moment with Gale and those mortifying spin the bottle kisses last month, I think the last time I was kissed was the end of my senior year of high school. Dating hasn't been my top priority and I've been told I come off as a little broody, so men don't usually approach me. But now there's a man on top of me, crushing his lips to mine as I rub my center against his thigh, desperately seeking friction.

I know that this was worth whatever waiting game I was playing before. Now Peeta is the one moaning as his hand moves from my breast to my ass, grabbing it roughly and to pull me closer to him. He breaks away and moves to hover above me, hair tousled and eyes dark, full of lust and disbelief and happiness.

"Is this real?"

I can't stop my grin and I bite my lip softly. "Very real."

I begin to inch his shirt up his stomach, our eyes meeting as I silently beg for permission. He acquiesces and I slowly lift the hem, my fingertips grazing his stomach muscles, which flutter lightly under my touch, before tugging the shirt over his head. I've never seen him shirtless before, but I've spent enough time staring at him in his work clothes to wonder. His stomach is flat and lean, his shoulders wide and stocky from a lifetime of working at his family's bakery and wrestling in school.

He looks so hesitant. I can't help but wonder if he's relatively new to all of this too. His hands begin to lightly trace along my waistband, curling up into my shirt to reveal a small section of my stomach. He looks nervous so I trail my hand from his shoulder to his hand and back up and I revel in this opportunity to touch him. "Peeta? You can if you want to."

Peeta grins and leans down to kiss me, fisting my shirt in his hands. As he slowly lifts it up, his thumbs lightly dip into my belly button, making me shiver. His hands continue to lift my shirt, taking his time to feel every inch of me as he goes. Our lips break apart and he gently lifts the shirt over my breasts, his thumbs lightly brushing over my nipples through my bra, causing me buck into him. He groans and the shirt goes over my head before his lips attack me with new fervor. One of his arms slinks around me to bring my waist flush against him and my toes curl when I feel the bare skin of our torsos touch for the first time. My lips move from his and I kiss my way from his jaw down to his neck. When I hit a certain spot, Peeta practically melts into me and I take his moment of weakness to flip us over so that I'm on top.

I begin sucking on his neck and Peeta shudders while my hands trace up and down his chest. When I scrape my teeth against his neck, he moans as he arches himself into my thigh and I can feel him hard against me. As tempted as I am to straddle him and roll my hips against his, I decide to tease him for a little longer. My hand trails down to trace lightly in the hair above his waistband. Peeta pants as I tentatively trace my fingers along the elastic of his sweatpants and my lips break away from his neck so I can look him in the eye.

He looks wild, feral almost. I smirk when I dip my fingers under the elastic, not enough to touch him, just enough to make his eyes roll back into his head. Peeta growls and I squeal when he flips me over so I'm on my back again.

Peeta kisses me fiercely, our tongues battling against one another. Eventually he breaks away and kisses down to my neck, but he doesn't stop there. Instead, I watch as his lips travel down to the middle of my breasts and he looks up. Our eyes meet, and he shoots me a wicked look before he licks a trail from the center of my chest to the strap of my bra, following the line of the cup. "Ahh," I moan loudly and when Peeta shushes me, I scowl. "Well, you started it."

He flashes me a wolfish grin and pecks me on the lips before moving back down to my bra. The feel of his mouth kissing the tops of my breasts is delicious, but I need more. I move my hands from where they were clutching at his back and Peeta gives me a confused look. In response I slip my hand behind my back and unclasp my bra, slipping it off my shoulders and tossing it onto our slowly growing pile of clothes.

It's kind of funny, really. I always thought that the first time a guy would see my breasts would be nerve-wracking, that I would immediately cover myself up and feel awkward. But I don't feel any of those things as Peeta looks at me in awe. Rather, I feel almost proud and excited to know that I can elicit this type of reaction out of him.

He looks up from my breasts and when our eyes lock, we both lean forward for a kiss, Peeta's arms crushing me to him as my pebbled nipples press against his chest. When he breaks away, he begins to pepper my breasts with kisses before taking one of my nipples into his mouth.

"Ahh," I moan loudly as Peeta sucks on my breast. How in the world does this feel so incredibly good? He tongue laves my nipple and I whine in protest when he stops, but he quickly moves on to the other, flattening his tongue against the hardened peak as I pant his name into the air.

Eventually his hand dips down to cup my center, rubbing me teasingly where I want his attention the most. He looks up at me and asks, "Can I?"

I nod my head anxiously and his fingers fumble as he tries to unbutton my jeans. He lets out a nervous chuckle and I gently brush his hands away so I can undo the button and pull down the zipper, leaving it up to him to do the rest. I watch as he slowly pulls down my pants, and after he tosses them aside, he leans back to gaze at me in nothing but my underwear, knees spread open for him. He looks almost predatory and when I glance down I see how heavily tented his sweats are. His gaze on my quickly dampening center is making me both impatient and nervous, so I sit up. I rest one hand on his thigh and cup his face with the other. When our eyes meet, I nod my head. This seems to snap Peeta into action.

He practically pounces on me like a man possessed, his hands everywhere, cupping my breasts and then rubbing me through my underwear as he kisses me fervently. He grinds his erection against my center and I moan louder than I had before, but this time Peeta doesn't shush me. His hand reaches up to tweak my nipple and the other slips under the waistband of my underwear to my slick center. I'm panting as he coats his fingers in my wetness and slowly drags them up to make small circles on my clit. I vaguely register his lips peppering my neck and chest with heated kisses, but all I can feel is his hard-on against my thigh and his fingers circling at an increasing rate. When he thrusts his erection against me and his fingers hit my clit just right, I explode with a high pitched moan as my body shudders and I see lights in my eyes.

As I lazily come back to earth, I eventually look to Peeta who's wearing a triumphant grin, as though he's wanted to do that for a while now. I know I've wanted that for a while now, too. Slowly, I lift my lips to his and mumble against them, "Your turn," before I flip him onto his back.

Peeta looks like he's won the lottery as I settle above him, straddling him the way I had fantasized about earlier. I kiss him deeply and tangle my hands in his hair as my hips grind against his erection, his thin sweats and my damp underwear the only thing separating us. His moans fill the room as I slowly kiss my way down to his neck and chest, wanting to taste as much of him as I can. I kiss each of his pectoral muscles before making my way down to his abdomen, his raised goosebumps giving me a hint of just how aroused he is (as if the large tent I've been grinding on didn't already give me a clue). He jumps when I lick down to his waistband and when I lift the elastic enough to lick a trail from one hipbone to the other; he lets out a strangled groan. I hook a finger into each side of his pants. "May I?"

"You-you want to?" he stutters.

I throw him a mischievous grin as I pull down his pants, revealing his striped boxer briefs. As I look down at his strained erection, I can see a damp spot from his precum and I lick my lips. Peeta moans my name and I don't think I've ever loved the sound of my name so much in all my life. I lightly press a kiss to the tip of his boxer-covered erection and slowly slide my body up towards him, letting his dick gently glide down my cheek; when he glides in between my breasts, Peeta growls lowly.

Once we're face to face, his cheeks are flushed and his eyes are almost black. I thrust my tongue into his mouth as my hips begin to gyrate against him. He grabs my ass and moans my name into my mouth and while I haven't done this before, I've gathered enough from porn and Cosmopolitan magazine to know that he must be close. But there's still something I want to try before I let him finish.

I break my lips away from his and slide my body back down until I'm face to face with his erection. I tug his boxer briefs down and he springs free, ready for me. Peeta fists the sheets as I gently grip him in one hand and begin to pump up and down. I feel awkward and a little unsure about how to proceed from here, but I decide to just go with my instincts, and if I do something wrong, Peeta will help me out.

With that resolve, I lower my face down to him and take him in my mouth. Peeta growls out my name and pounds his fist against the bed. When I open my eyes I see him staring at me. Having him in my mouth feels a little strange and I feel very aware of my teeth as I try not to hurt him. It's awkward at first and I have to use my hand to help guide him in and out of my mouth, but eventually I begin to pick up a rhythm. I lavish his dick with my tongue and his head falls back on the pillows behind him. Suddenly I remember something I read in Cosmo a while back, and my other hand reaches for his balls and when I lightly tug on him, he loses it.

While I've seen enough porn to know what happens when a man comes, I'm not prepared for how much of it there would actually be. I grimace as it seeps out of my mouth, and when I try to wipe it away I end up getting it in my hair. I grab the first piece of clothing from the floor I can find and use it to try and clean myself off a bit. When I look up I see Peeta's lazy smile, I give him one in return. I make my way up to him and when I'm hovering directly over his face, I give him a chaste kiss on the mouth. We break away and when Peeta looks down my body, he groans.

"Seeing your breasts like that is going to get me hard again way too fast."

I laugh and begin to pepper his face with kisses, as if I haven't already gotten my fill. "I'm not even sorry."

Peeta begins to laugh and I join him. After a minute, I drop down next to him and he turns on his side to face me as he grabs my hands. "So what was it you saying when you first came over? Something about me…best thing that ever happened to you?"

I blush. "I don't know if I remember that last part."

"Oh, that's right, that's what I was thinking about you," he says as he snuggles into me, nuzzling his nose into my neck. I'm so satiated and content that I can't even bother to feel embarrassed by Peeta's comments or our nakedness. Everything seems so natural and comfortable that I can't help but nuzzle him back.

I blush once again and Peeta chuckles before he tilts his face to mine and we begin kissing again, slowly at first, but quickly building when he pushes me onto my back to hover over me. A warmth rushes over me, from my head to my toes, and it only intensifies when Peeta slips his hand down to push my panties to the side so he can slip two fingers inside me. I moan loudly as Peeta curses. "Shit, you're so tight and wet. I can't wait to be inside you."

And then I freeze. Shit, this is moving really fast.

Up until a couple if hours ago, I'd never even been naked in front of a guy before, and save the few times I cupped Marvel Lewis' junk when we dated in high school, I had never touched a guy either. Sensing my hesitation, Peeta stops. "Are you okay?"

"I…I…" I stutter. "I don't think I'm ready for that yet. Tonight was, uh, kind of my first time doing any of that with a guy…and I'm just a little nervous," I finish lamely.

Peeta's mouth forms an 'O' of recognition and he pulls his fingers out of me and places his hands on either side of my head so he can push back and look at me.

"God, I'm sorry, Peeta, I just…"

Peeta crushes me to him in a hug. "You don't have anything to apologize for, Katniss. I didn't mean to pressure you into anything you didn't want to do. I'm really sorry."

I shake my head. "No, I really wanted to do everything that we did tonight, I'd been thinking about it for a little while now." Peeta's breath hitches and I continue. "I just don't feel ready yet to move any further."

Peeta leans back and kisses my forehead. "Okay. To be honest, we did move kind of fast tonight," he says with a slightly guilty look. "We'll do more things when we're both ready for them."

I nod my head and lean in to kiss him, but he stops me before it gets heated. "Katniss…" he says warningly. "You're going to be the death of me, aren't you?"

I give him a chaste kiss. "Thank you, Peeta."

"I really care about you, Katniss. I just want you to feel safe and comfortable with me," he says as he squeezes my hand.

I look in his eyes and see such a genuine warmth and caring within them. Truthfully, I was afraid he would kick me out for denying him, wouldn't most guys do that? So now that we're done hooking up, does that mean I should leave now? How do these things work?

But no, Peeta lies back down and pulls on my arm so that I can lie down next to him. He yawns and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his side. "Stay with me?" he asks.

Oh, God. This night is going to cause me to fall in love with him, isn't it? As if everything we did physically wasn't wonderful enough, he has to go and treat me with such care and kindness that I feel like my heart is going to explode right out of my chest. Of course Peeta wouldn't kick me out after a night like this. I settle in his arms and take a couple of steadying breaths before I do something stupid, like crying.

"Always," I whisper back.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning I wake up to "Good Life" by OneRepublic playing in the background, and as I come into consciousness, the first thing I realize is that someone is spooning me from behind. And that we are both practically naked. I hear a groan and the arm that is slung across my waist lifts to turn the music off, but then hugs me close again and nuzzles my ear.

Peeta.

I turn in his arms to see his face and he rewards me with a sleepy grin and a kiss on the nose. "Hi."

"Hi." I lean in to kiss his lips and find myself drawn into him. My leg hooks over him and then I'm on top of him, grinding down into his morning wood. Peeta breaks the kiss with a moan. "I would really love to keep doing this, but it's almost noon and I'm supposed to get lunch with Rye."

"Rye sucks," I respond.

"Yep," Peeta agrees. "But he leaves town tonight and I promised that I would see him before he left."

"Mmm, okay, fine. I'm actually supposed to hang out with Prim today anyway."

Peeta gives me one last kiss and then gets up out of bed to get dressed. Normally, nudity embarrasses me, but I find myself leaning back and taking in Peeta's naked body as he searches for something to wear. He pulls on some clean underwear and pulls a clean pair of jeans from his dresser. When he catches me staring, he grins. "Enjoying the show?"

"Maybe," I respond as I sit back against the headboard, letting the sheet fall to reveal my breasts, my nipples puckering in the cold November air.

"Ugh, yep, you're going to kill me."

I laugh. "You got it. Come on, last chance," I say as I gesture to my naked torso.

Peeta gets a worried look on his face and crosses over to sit next to me on the bed. "This wasn't just a one time thing, right? This isn't really my last chance, is it?"

I lean forward and place my hand on his cheek. "You're not getting rid of me that easily, Mellark. Besides, I don't think I'm through with you yet."

Peeta gives me a mischievous grin. "Good to know. I'll text you later?"

"Sure. Have fun with Rye."

Peeta tells me to take my time getting up and that I'm welcome to leave whenever I feel like it before he goes to see his brother. I grab my clothes from the night before off the floor and throw them on before I use the bathroom attached to his room. I have yet to hear any sounds from Annie or Johanna's room, and I pray that I don't run into either of them on my way out. When I head out to the living room, I am sorely disappointed to see Johanna sitting on the couch watching television and eating a bowl of cereal.

I bashfully wave to her and she smirks in response, her mouth full of food. When she swallows she says, "Bow-chicka-wow-wow."

"Oh, God," I groan.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard enough of that last night, I don't need a recap."

I flush red. "Oh my God, no you didn't."

"I did. Annie and I just turned the TV up louder to try and drown the two of you out," Johanna confirms as she nods her head solemnly. Then she cackles. "Way to go, tiger. Did you leave any marks?"

"Ugh, I'm going to go now." I quickly make my exit, shutting the door loudly in Johanna's smug face.

I head back over to my apartment to shower and change my clothes before going to my family's house to hang out with Prim. As I place my car in park, I get a text message from Peeta.

Peeta: I had the best time with you last night. I'm so glad you came over.

Me: I am too. ;)

For a moment I'm proud of myself. Look at me, flirting and sending winky-face texts. Go me!

Peeta: Rye's been giving me crap today, he keeps telling me to get that 'shit-eating grin' off my face.

Me: Hahaha I'm not sorry.

Peeta: Good, because we're going to need to start doing all of that a lot more frequently. ;)

We text back and forth for a couple more minutes, but then he says he better go before Rye hijacks his phone. I smile to myself and get out of my car so I can see Prim, who I already know is going to want me to take her out shopping to hit up all the post Thanksgiving Day sales.

I was right. Several hours later I'm sitting on a bench in a fitting room inside of Macy's, waiting for Prim to come out and model for me what she's got. I'm trying to be attentive, but I know I've been spacey, my mind continually flashing back to my night with Peeta. Prim comes out of the fitting room wearing a slinky little black dress that looks way too old for her. I raise my eyebrows when she strikes a pose and asks me what I think.

"And where would you wear that dress?"

"On a date with Rory. Do you think he'd like it?"

"Given that the dress is backless and barely covers your ass, yeah, I'm sure he'd like it."

Prim rolls her eyes but giggles anyway.

"Seriously, Prim, don't you think that dress is a little old for you?"

"Katniss, come on, I'm going to be eighteen next month. Can't I wear a little black dress when I go out with my boyfriend?"

"Yeah, emphasis on little."

Prim huffs. "It's not that bad, besides, I feel really good in it."

"Well Rory's an eighteen year old boy, he's going to want to see how good you feel in it, too," I snipe back.

"Katniss, I like the dress so I'm going to get it. You're not the boss of me. End of story."

I close my eyes and count to ten. "Look, I'm going to the ladies room. I'll meet you at the check out counter, okay?"

Prim grumbles and walks back into the fitting room as I rub my temples. I need to think happy thoughts. Like how maybe I can see Peeta again tonight.

With that thought, I navigate my way through the crowds and finally find the ladies room. I wait in line for a stall, thinking about all the fun things I'd like to do with Peeta later on in the evening. I reach the front on the line, and when I finish peeing, I see the one thing that would ruin my plans completely.

I'm bleeding. Shark week has officially commenced.

I'm so ticked off when I head back to Prim that she takes one look at me and says, "What's wrong with you? Are you on your period or something?"

"Yes!" I snap back.

She doesn't say anything, only raises her eyebrows as she goes to pay for her items. Given the tension in the air, she asks if we could get dinner some other time instead. The fact that even Prim doesn't want to be around me right now hits me hard.

I sigh. "I'm sorry, Prim. I'll try to cool it off a little. Can we still get dinner please?"

Prim beams back at me and I know that order has been restored. She's still a little leery of me and as we get in her car, she tells me to choose the restaurant, no arguments. I know that she hates it when we argue just as much as I do.

We head over to Sae's and I try to relax into our conversation, but as our evening progresses, my cramps and frustration increase, and I know that I'm not being the ideal dinner companion. Prim doesn't mention anything about it, instead she chatters on about her latest date with Rory, but for dessert she orders us brownie sundaes and I feel like I could kiss her.

After our dinner together, I head over to the grocery store to pick up a few items and then back to my apartment, resigned to a night of bad movies and cramps. I chat with Madge for a couple of minutes while I put everything away before heading into my room and flopping onto my bed. As I consider getting up to change into some pajamas, I get another text from Peeta.

Peeta: Hey, there. I just dropped Rye off at the airport. Want to hang out tonight?

Me: Hey. Sure but I feel like I should warn you: I just bought tampons and ice cream.

Peeta: Yikes. Will you share the ice cream if I bring some cheese fries over?

Me: God, yes. Get over here ASAP.

It doesn't matter that I just had dinner with Prim, when someone offers you cheese fries, you say yes. I change into some sweats, a thin tank top, and a sweatshirt. I'm putting on my comfy socks when I hear a knock on the door. Cheese fry time.

I open the door and see Peeta standing there, looking adorable with his tousled curls and wearing a grey sweatshirt with dark wash jeans. I look like shit, but before I can ruminate on that too much, I zone in on the big, greasy bag in his hand.

"Yum!" I shout and lunge for the bag.

Peeta holds it just out of reach. "Hey, what about me?"

"What about you?" Peeta pouts but before he can say anything, I pounce on him, pulling him into a deep kiss. He's surprised and takes a step back, but once he gets his bearings, he wraps his arm around me, the warm, greasy bag hitting my back. My hands tangle in his hair and I hitch my leg around his thigh. After a moment we break apart.

"From now on, I will always bring you cheese fries," Peeta pants.

I smile at him and then I hear Madge say, "Well, ho-ly shit."

We both turn around to see Madge standing in the hallway, clearly having just witnessed our little display. "When the hell did this happen?" she asks.

I'm flushing and stammering, but Peeta quickly comes to my rescue. "It's pretty new, Madge. We haven't really told anyone yet, so we'd appreciate it if you kept this quiet."

Madge's eyes widen. "Okay, sure. Of course."

"Thanks, Madgie," I respond. She nods her head and I catch her face break into a goofy smile as she heads back into her bedroom.

"Whoops," Peeta offers, but I can tell that he's trying to gauge my reaction, waiting to see if I'm going to flip out.

But it's okay that Madge knows. They'll all have to know about us eventually and I feel surprisingly okay about it. I would've liked for our relationship to progress a little further before we told everyone, so that we could fully understand what is going on, but what can you do?

"Whoops," I reply.

Peeta chuckles and we take the fries back into my room. Things aren't at all awkward or strange as we settle into my bed together to eat and watch a movie. Actually, having Peeta wrap his arm around me and snuggling into him feels so natural, so easy, that it seems strange to me that four months ago Peeta and I weren't even friends. Our relationship has progressed so quickly that I can't help but marvel at how lucky I am that I ran into him at the high school's open house.

When the movie ends, Peeta leans down and kisses me softly. "I don't mean to pressure you or anything, but would you mind if I stayed the night with you again? I really liked sleeping next to you last night."

"Of course. I liked it a lot too."

Peeta kisses my forehead and gets up to take off his jeans, leaving him in boxers and his sweatshirt.

"I think I have some oversized sweatpants to wear if you want. It's supposed to be pretty chilly tonight," I offer.

"Yeah, I didn't think tonight through very well," Peeta admits sheepishly.

I laugh lightly and get up to fish out the pants from the bottom of my dresser. Once I locate them, I toss the sweats over to him and he quickly tugs them on before we both crawl into bed. I turn off the bedside lamp, submerging us in darkness. Peeta yawns and wraps his arms around me. "'Night, Katniss."

I snuggle into him. "Night, Peeta."

The next morning I awake to the feeling of something tickling my nose. I open my eyes and see Peeta chuckling as he waves a lock of my hair over my face. I attempt a scowl, but I'm so sleepy and content that it doesn't work very well.

Peeta starts laughing again. "Good morning."

"Good morning," I respond. "How long were you lying there watching me, creeper?"

"Not long. I actually like watching you sleep, you don't scowl. Improves your looks a lot."

I scowl in response and move to hit him the stomach, but he catches my arm and uses it to pull me in closer to him. "I'm kidding," he says. "You're always gorgeous, even when you're sleeping."

I laugh quietly. "Thanks?" I kiss his neck.

"Mmm…that feels nice."

I continue to place sloppy kisses up and down his neck and Peeta's breath hitches before he says, "I thought about you a lot yesterday."

I look back at him. "I thought about you, too."

Peeta quirks an eyebrow. "Oh? Anything I might find interesting?"

I pretend to think for a moment. "Well…"

Peeta reaches his arms up and begins to tickle me. "Well…" he imitates back.

"Stop, stop! Okay, okay! I'll tell you!" I manage to get out. Peeta's tickling ceases and he looks at me expectantly. "I thought about you…and me… and all the fun things we could do together. And then fucking shark week had to happen."

Peeta grimaces and starts to say something, but then stops and starts laughing. "Wait, you call your period shark week?" I nod solemnly in response.

"Okay, first off, you're a weirdo. But, yeah, that kinda ruined my day, too, because I was thinking about all kinds of things I'd like to do with you. In my room, in your room, in my car, in the shower…"

I shudder. "Yes, to all those things."

Peeta grins as he leans in to kiss me once more. "I agree. But until then, how about breakfast?"


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, everyone for all of your kind reviews and messages! They always make my day. Thank you, pookieh, for your superb beta skills and for accepting any and all inappropriate asks I might have. Thank you, soamazinghere, for your awesome pre-reading/editing skills. I had the best time working on this chapter with the two of you, your comments had me cracking up!
> 
> Hands down, this was my favorite chapter to write. I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> I do not own The Hunger Games.
> 
> Visit me on tumblr: english1823.

My eyes shoot open when my alarm clock goes off. Peeta groans when my arm flails out and hits him in the nose as I lean over his body to turn the alarm off. Even though he’s spent almost every night at my place since we sat in bed and ate cheese fries together, sometimes I forget that he’s there next to me and I accidentally smack him in the face. I cross my forearms over his chest and rest my head on them as I look at Peeta’s groggy face. “Sorry about that,” I whisper.

“Mmm, s’okay,” he mumbles.

I laugh softly and lean up to give him a peck on the lips. “I have class in an hour, so I’m going to go take a shower.”

Peeta nods his head in understanding and nuzzles back into the pillows. I get up, grab a change of clothes, and head into the bathroom. I hear laughter as I pass by Finnick’s bedroom door. I roll my eyes. Annie is in there with him; apparently the two of them don’t know how to keep quiet when they’re going at it. Peeta and I ended up having to turn the radio on last night so we wouldn’t have to hear them. It’s a little annoying, but the two of them are so sweet together that I can’t help but be happy for my friend. I walk into the bathroom and lock the door, smiling to myself as I remember how Finnick found out that Peeta and I had feelings for one another just a couple days ago.

Monday night, Peeta was in my room helping me with an essay for one of my finals. He was sitting on my bed with a large pile of books around him while I was going over the corrections he had made. I was in the middle of a sentence when Peeta randomly said, “You know, I was thinking about it and Finn is the only one of our close friends we haven’t told about our relationship.”

I snorted. “Well, technically, we didn’t tell Annie or Johanna, they overheard my little speech to you and then saw us disappear into your room for twelve hours. And Madge walked in on us making out, so not too much we could have done there.”

Peeta scratched his chin. “True.”

I sighed. “I don’t know, I guess I’ve been a little distracted, with this being finals week and all. I think he’s out in the living room right now, do you want to go out there with me?”

Peeta smiled and nodded and together we walked out to where Finnick was studying in front of the television. 

“Hey, Finn?” I asked. Finnick was hovering over three different books that were spread out before him, our coffee table covered in notes and papers. He didn’t even look up at me when he responded, “Hmmm?”

“Finnick, look at me for a moment.” He looked up with a pen between his teeth and saw Peeta with his arm around my shoulders while I hugged his waist.

He looked between the two of us and spat the pen out of his mouth. “Wait, you…and you… Really?”

We laughed as Finnick jumped up and enveloped us all together into a big group hug. 

“It feels like we just told our kid that his parents are getting together,” Peeta said with a laugh. 

I can’t help but laugh to myself when I recall the memory because I don’t think there was anyone who was rooting for the two of us more than Finnick was. Shaking my head, I quickly undress. Just as I’m about to turn on the shower, I hear a quick knock on the door.

“Anyone in there? It’s Annie.”

I get out of the shower and wrap a towel around my body before I open the door. “Hey, I was just about to jump in the shower. Do you need to use the restroom?”

Annie stands there looking sheepish in one of Finnick’s old t-shirts and a pair of sleep shorts, holding a small pile of clothes. “Oh, I was hoping to use the shower before I have to rush to class. I can wait until you’re done though.”

I think for a moment before I respond. “I don’t want you to be late. Why don’t you use the bathroom connected to Madge’s room? She had an 8:00 am class this morning, so she’s long gone. Trust me, she won’t mind, she lets us use it all the time.”

Annie looks doubtful. “Are you sure? She wouldn’t get mad at me for using her stuff?”

“Oh, no, she won’t mind at all. Do you want one of Finn’s towels before you go in?”

“Oh, yeah! Thanks, Katniss.” I smile and hand her a towel from the rack.

“No problem.” Annie returns my smile and exits the bathroom walking towards Madge’s bedroom. I shut the door and start up the shower. 

I pour some body wash into a loofah and begin to wash myself. I hear the door open quietly and I smile to myself when I realize that Peeta’s come to join me in the shower. I bite my lip in anticipation but when the shower curtain rips open, I hear, “Colonial Weiner, reporting for duty! OH MY GOD!”

I scream when I see Finnick’s naked body proudly at attention. I grasp for the shower curtain and clutch it to my body. “Oh my God, Finnick!” He slaps a hand over his eyes and stumbles backwards, running into the towel rack and slumping to the floor, only to have the towel rack land on his head. 

I’m still freaking out when the door is thrown open and Peeta comes barreling in. “What the fuck is going on in here?”

During the commotion, I must not have heard the front door open, but I do hear Madge as she walks into the hallway. “What the hell—” When she spies Finnick’s naked body on the floor, moaning and clutching his head she covers her face. “Oh, my eyes! My eyes!” 

Ten minutes later everyone is covered up and in the living room. I’m holding my head down, unable to look at Finnick, who is now fully dressed and holding a cold compress to his head.

Madge looks over at us and asks, “What just happened? My class was cancelled and I walk in to see the most disturbing looking orgy I could ever imagine.” She turns to Finnick and me. “Why were you both naked in the shower?”

Annie gives Finnick a bewildered look. “It wasn’t like that!” he shouts. “Annie said she was going to take a shower and I wanted to surprise her.”

I groan and look at Peeta. “I thought you decided to get up and join me, but then Finnick ripped open the shower curtain and shouted, ‘Colonial Weiner reporting for action’.”

Finnick hangs his head in embarrassment when we all turn to look at him. Peeta shakes his head. “Ugh, okay, first of all, that’s disgusting. Second of all, where was Annie during all this?”

Annie turns to Madge, an apology in her eyes. “I wanted to take a shower before my class and Katniss said it was okay if I used yours. I’m sorry, Madge.”

Madge waves her off. “It’s no big deal, you’re welcome to use my shower whenever.” 

Peeta sighs loudly. “Well, I don’t dig that you saw my girlfriend naked, Finn, but it sounds like it was just one big misunderstanding.”

Finnick groans and nods his head while Annie laughs at him softly, pushing back his hair to gently stroke his forehead. I’m sitting there grinning like a five year old because Peeta just called me his girlfriend. “Well, I better finish getting ready for class. Katniss, do you want to walk with me?” Annie asks.

I try to wipe the shit-eating grin off my face as I reply, “Sure, give me ten minutes.”

Peeta follows me back into my room and when we close the door, we both look at each other and start to laugh. Peeta hugs me and says, “Well, that was a weird way to start off the morning.”

“Yeah, it was.” I pause for a moment. “So, since when am I your girlfriend?” I ask playfully.

Peeta freezes. “Huh?”

“Out there you called me your girlfriend. You know, you’re supposed to ask a girl before you start putting labels on everything, Mellark.”

Peeta blushes. “Well...I mean, that’s what we’re doing, isn’t it?” I smile and wrap my arms around him as I nod. Peeta huffs. “You really want me to ask you officially?”

“Really really.”

Peeta leans his forehead down until it’s touching mine. “Will you be my girlfriend, Katniss?”

“Well, I guess so,” I say with a smile before I lean in to kiss him. His hands begin to move south to cup my ass, but I push him off of me. 

“Later. I have class in fifteen minutes and I still have to change.”

Peeta swats at my ass and pushes me lightly to my dresser. During the confusion in the bathroom, I only had time to throw on a robe really quickly. He flops down on my bed and with his hands behind his head cradling it, he leans back to observe me. “Alright, strip down, girlfriend.”

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The next morning I finish my last final and as I hand my bluebook over to Professor Boggs, I feel such a sense of release. Finally. Now I have three beautiful weeks of winter vacation before my last semester as an undergraduate begins. 

Freedom!

When I get back to my apartment, Madge and I decide that a roommate celebration is in order later tonight. Madge texts Finnick to gage his availability. “In the meantime, would you be up for a workout with me at the rec center?” Madge asks with a hopeful look on her face.

I stifle my groan. Over the last couple of months Madge has been trying hard to get in shape and has been spending a lot more time at the gym. While I think it’s great and I’m proud of her success, it often means that I’m the one who has to go with her because she read in an article in ‘Women’s Health’ that people with workout buddies are far more successful at their weight loss goals than those who go at it alone. 

So now I’m Madge’s workout buddy. I’m sure most workout buddies would be filled with great pep talks and all that shit, but since that’s not really my style, I try and do little things for her. Like getting her favorite Gatorade flavors at the grocery store or making her a workout playlist.

“Sure,” I say reluctantly. “Actually, why don’t you hand me your phone and I’ll add a new playlist for you while you go change.”

Madge beams like I’ve just made her day, so I guess it’s worth the extra five minutes once in a while to make the weekly playlist for her. “Great! Thanks, Katniss! How about we leave in about twenty minutes? Does that give you enough time?”

“Okay by me.”

Just as Madge turns to walk to her room, her phone pings. Silently, I hand it over while she checks it. “Ugh, Finnick can’t come tonight.” She makes a face. “But he said he’s free tomorrow night, does that work for you,” she asks me.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” I confirm. Madge types her response to Finnick before skipping off to her room.

I head into my room and hook Madge’s iPhone into my computer so that I can start uploading the songs. I throw on some running pants and a long sleeve shirt, before sending a quick text to Peeta.

Me: Hey boyfriend, how did your final assessment go today?

Peeta: I love hearing that. ☺ It was scary! I had to meet with Haymitch, my professor, and my academic advisor. 

Me: Uh oh! What did they say?

Peeta: They were all really proud of how I’ve been doing so far. Haymitch told me that I’m going to be a really good teacher someday.

Me: Whoa, a compliment from Haymitch? That’s amazing, I’m so proud of you!

Madge knocks on my door. “You ready to go, Kat?”

“Just a minute!” I yell back.

Me: I have to go. I’ll see you later tonight? 

Peeta: Sure. Talk to you later.

Madge and I head to the Panem Recreation Center and once we’re there, we manage to find two free treadmills side by side. I’m just starting mine up when I heard a voice to my right. 

“Hey look, it’s brainless! And Madge! Hey, ladies.”

I look over and see Johanna running on the treadmill next to mine. “Johanna.” I deadpan as she rolls her eyes. “I didn’t even see you there!”

Madge giggles and waves from her treadmill. “Hey Johanna!” 

Madge and I start up our treadmills and begin with a walk to warm up. I put my headphones in and start to tune out for a little bit until it’s time to full on run. One thing I have to appreciate about Johanna is that she never feels the need to chatter; she’s perfectly fine running next to me in silence. After a little while, I feel Madge nudge my arm and I take out a headphone to hear what she has to say.

“This playlist has nothing but Darren Criss songs on it!”

I laugh. “Yeah, I figured you needed some motivation, and Darren Criss serenading you with ‘When I Get You Alone’ seemed like a good idea.”

Madge smiles and huffs out, “I just want to marry him… and have his babies…, is that so bad?”

Johanna lets out a bark of laughter and I see that she’s taken her headphones out and is starting on her cool down walk. “You mean you wanna sit on his face, don’t you?”

I blush but Madge just nods solemnly and in complete seriousness says, “I really do.”

“Well, maybe if you show up at his apartment with baked goods and a declaration of love he’ll do it,” Johanna responds, giving me the side-eye.

I scowl and lower my treadmill speed to a brisk walk. “Shut up.”

Madge slows her treadmill too and starts to snicker. 

“Hey, from what I could tell on Halloween, Peeta’s a pretty good little kisser. You were smart to snatch him up.” Johanna says with a wicked look on her face while I groan in response. “Aw, come on, you gotta give us more than that! Is he that good at kissing other parts of you?” Johanna asks as she wiggles her eyebrows. 

“Huh? Oh, I-I…” I stutter off lamely. Right now I wish that a hole would open up in the ground and swallow me up.

“Don’t be so pure, brainless. I mean, have you sat on his face a la Madge in her Darren Criss fantasies?”

Oh, God. “Oh, ah… we’re taking things slow and I’ve been a little…”

“You’re nervous, aren’t you?” Madge asks gently.

The truth is, I really am nervous to allow Peeta to do that. We talked about taking our relationship slow, doing things when we were ready, but I’ve just felt a little self-conscious when it comes to that. Peeta’s offered, and while I enjoy going down on him, I’ve been more than apprehensive to take him up on it. 

I can tell Johanna is trying very hard to not be sarcastic or mean when she says, “Well, there’s nothing to be afraid of, brainless. Trust me when I tell you that you’re missing out.”

My eyes bug out of my head. “You don’t mean that you and Peeta…”

Johanna makes a face. “Oh, ew, he’s like my brother. Gross. Besides, I wouldn’t want my girl Delly to feel left out, now would I?” She winks at me.

Madge chuckles as Johanna turns off the treadmill. “Well ladies, I’m going to head over to the weight room. Glad I got to see you both.” She gathers her things and picks up the small bag off the floor next to her treadmill. She turns to me and cocks an eyebrow. “Think about what I said. Would Peeta really do anything that made you feel bad or uncomfortable? Or do something you wouldn’t enjoy?”

I have to admit, our conversation has got me thinking. I mean, if I felt uncomfortable, I could always tell Peeta to stop and I know he would. So really, the only hold up is me. 

After our workout, Madge and I head back to our apartment. I text Peeta and tell him to come over whenever, and less than an hour later he’s at my doorstep with a bag full of Chinese takeout.

“Oh, yum! Thanks, Peet!” I say as I take the bag out of his hands and give him a quick peck on the lips.

“Sure. I thought we deserved a treat for conquering our finals week.”

“I agree. Come on, let’s go eat in my room and you can tell me all about your teaching evaluation.”

An hour later Peeta and I are stuffed full of chow mein and General Tso’s chicken and are relaxing on my bed. Peeta’s arms are wrapped around me and I snuggle in closer to him. “I’m so warm and full, I could fall asleep right now.”

“I know what you mean. I think I ate too many crab rangoons, my stomach is way too full.”

I glance over at the clock and groan. “Peeta, it’s only 9:30. We’re old people.”

Peeta groans but then pulls me in closer to him. “Well, then I like being old with you.” 

I tilt my head up so I can look at him. “I do, too.”

He kisses my nose lightly. “Actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” He looks nervous and I move to prop my head up on my arm and get a better look at him.

“Okay. What’s up?”

Peeta turns and faces me. “My mom decided to surprise my dad with tickets to spend Christmas in Vail.”

“Oh?” That’s it? “That sounds nice, I’m sure they’ll have a really nice time together.”

Peeta bites his lip. “No, I mean, she bought tickets for all of us to go as a family. Even Rye, Bann, and Bann’s fiancée, Daisy, are going. I’m supposed to go with them, too. Family bonding time.”

My heart sinks and I try not to let my disappointment cloud my features too heavily. Peeta and I have worked so hard these last couple of weeks to get ready for finals that we haven’t been able to spend much time together. I was looking forward to days and nights curled up in one of our apartments, snuggling and kissing and touching. Looks like my plans have changed. 

“When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

“Tomorrow afternoon?” I screech. Peeta winces. “Sorry. It’s just, well, I was hoping…” I trail off weakly, not knowing how to fully articulate how I feel.

Peeta nuzzles my neck. “I know. We’ll be gone for three weeks, so we’ll get back right before spring term starts again. It was a really big deal for my mom to coordinate with mine and Rye’s school schedule, and Bann and Daisy’s work schedules. She worked really hard to make it a nice trip for everyone.”

Damn. Mrs. Mellark has never been one of my favorite people; the way she’s treated Peeta, between the hurtful comments and smacks across the head, have made me dislike her immensely. But it sounds like she did go to a lot of trouble to plan the vacation and it’s not like I’m in any position to convince him otherwise. Besides, all I have to do is look at Peeta to see the way his eyes shine with hope at the idea of having a nice family vacation. One where his mother doesn’t beat up on his life choices and actually acts like a real mother.

I let out a long breath that I didn’t know I was holding. “It sounds like you’re going to have a lovely trip. I’m going to miss you though.”

“It’s the only reason I’m not excited to go on this trip, because I know how much I’m going to miss you, too.”

I move in closer to him and shift so that my body is hovering over his. “Well, we’re going to have to make the most of the time we have left together, won’t we?” I ask huskily.

“Absolutely,” Peeta whispers back breathily.

I smirk as I nod and then lower my lips to his. We kiss softly at first, but it only takes a moment for Peeta’s tongue to slip into my mouth, causing me to moan. Peeta’s hands move from their place around my waist down to my ass, where he grabs me firmly and rolls his hips up to meet mine. 

“Ah, Peeta,” I moan in his ear as I begin to grind against his growing erection. Peeta bites my lip and flips me over so that I’m resting below him. He leans back to take off his shirt and I barely have time to admire his chest before he’s kissing me again, nipping at my lips and causing a tingling feeling to run from my head down to the tips of my toes.

Peeta’s different tonight; more in control, dominating me in a way that he never has before and that’s making me wetter by the second. It’s as if the idea of being separated for three whole weeks has made him desperate to touch me. His hands are everywhere, tangled in my hair, squeezing my breasts, grabbing my ass. His lips move from my mouth and trace down my neck to my pulse point while his hands slide up under my shirt and bra, grasping my breasts in both hands and causing my hips to buck up. I grip his back tightly and I’m sure that I’ll leave scratch marks all over him. “Oh God, Peeta.”

He growls and shoves my shirt and bra up over my breasts before he leans and bites down on my nipple, causing me to groan, my hips now moving of their own accord. He looks up at me and through my heavy-lidded eyes I can see his blue eyes staring back at me with a wicked look in them. “Say my name again,” he demands as he laves his tongue around my nipple while his hand moves down to rub me through my sweats. 

“Peeta!” I cry out, far too loudly, but I’m so beyond caring. I don’t know who this Peeta is, because I’ve never seen him before, but I know that I like him. A lot.

I feel him grin against my breast as he kisses his way down my torso, pausing only to dip his tongue into my belly button. I’m already impossibly damp and I know that I’m going to need him to touch me soon. As I’m about to tell him this, his tongue dips below the elastic of my pants and I feel my eyes roll to the back of my head. My hands tangle in his curls and he makes quick work of taking off my pants and socks. He stares up at me for a minute and I’m sure I look wild with my shirt and bra shoved up to my neck and hair askew, but he doesn’t seem to mind as his gaze lowers to the juncture of my thighs and he licks his lips. 

“You’re so wet,” he groans, then lowers his head to kiss the inside of my knee. He traces a sloppy trail up to my hip flexors, and then licks the outline of my underwear. My hands slam down to fist my comforter and I moan so loudly I’m surprised Madge hasn’t started banging on my wall yet. Peeta looks up from his place by my hips and hooks his finger into my underwear. “Is this okay?”

I briefly recall my conversation with Johanna and the worries that I had about this moment, but I look at Peeta and though he looks wild with his tangled hair, flushed cheeks, and mischievous eyes, I know that he would stop if I asked him too. 

But I’m not going to.

I bite my lip and nod my head. The smile he rewards me with is so bright that any nerves I might have had vanish. He pulls off my panties and throws them off the side of my bed. Instinctively, my knees come together to hide myself, but Peeta tenderly encourages me open so he can see me fully. He kisses the inside of my thigh once again before settling himself down, wrapping one arm under each of my legs, placing himself at eye level with my center. Slowly, he brings his lips forward and I watch as he spreads my folds and gives me a long, steady lick.

Holy shit. This is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. His tongue is soft and moist and as he explores me, I register that while this is foreign, it is also one of the best things I’ve ever felt and my hips buck up to receive more of it. Peeta smiles at me and uses his arms to pin my hips to the bed before licking me with the same intensity that he was kissing me with earlier. If I thought the way his tongue felt on my folds was amazing, the way he flicks my clit with his tongue is heavenly. “Ngh…ugh…yes, Peeta…don’t stop.” 

If someone was to ask me what my last name was right now, I don’t think I would know the answer. All I can concentrate on is the warmth of his tongue on my center and rapidly building fire within me. He grasps my hips tightly, and my hands move down into his hair, pulling on the strands as if they will in some way help me find relief. It’s too much for me to make sense of, it feels as if everything is in overdrive and I don’t care if I’m being loud or if my moans sound nothing like me or if my hips are bucking wildly as though I’m a woman possessed. All that matters is that Peeta is using his tongue to make me thrash against the bed in the most delicious way. I barely notice when one of his hands slips off my hips, but I do notice when he thrusts two fingers inside of me, because that right there is my undoing. 

My back arches off the bed and I shout Peeta’s name into the air one last time as I come, my body erupting in pleasure. My eyes are screwed shut and it’s like I’ve floated out of my body as I feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins in the most wonderful way imaginable. I slowly come down from my high and lazily blink my eyes open.

“I, uh, I…oh, shit. Did I pass out?”

Peeta, who has been resting his cheek on my stomach, starts laughing deeply. When he calms himself down he says, “So, you liked that?”

I respond with a weak laugh, my voice a little hoarse. “Uh, yeah! Can we just stay in bed all the time and can you just do that all the time too?”

Peeta chuckles. “I wouldn’t mind that at all.”

“Really? So you liked doing that?”

Peeta gives me an incredulous look. “Do you have any idea what a turn on that is for me?”

Sweet, this sounds like a win-win for everyone. I’m about to say so when Peeta adds, “Well, except when you came, your knees snapped together and whacked me on both sides of my head. That’s kinda why I’ve been resting it on your stomach.” He gives me a sheepish look.

I bury my hands in my head and groan. “Oh, God. I’m so sorry, Peeta.”

He crawls up my body and silences my apology with a kiss. “Stop. I loved doing that for you. But maybe next time try and make sure you keep your legs open so you don’t give me a concussion?” I’m mortified. “I’m kidding! Seriously, Katniss. I really loved doing that for you. In fact, I hope I get to do it for you again and again and again...”

I kiss him again, but a thought pops into my head and I gently push him back. “Peeta, have you done that with other girls before? You must have, because that was…really good.”

Peeta leans back and rests his body next to mine, and I turn to face him. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a mood ruiner,” I continue. “But it seems like something most couples talk about and we haven’t yet. I’m sorry, I was just wondering.”

“It’s okay for you to wonder, Katniss.” 

Peeta props his head up with one hand and with the other he reaches for mine, but before he can grab it I snatch it away. He gives me a quizzical look. “Sorry, just, do you mind if I fix my shirt first?” 

Peeta’s eyes gaze over my chest, noticing my clothes shoved up to my neck, and grins. “I guess. I was enjoying the view, though.” 

I smack him playfully but take my shirt and bra off anyways before I snuggle beneath the blankets so I’m covered. Once I’m settled, I grab the hand he previously offered me and entwine our fingers. 

“Continue.”

“Well, I dated a little in high school, but that was just second base stuff, nothing exciting. My freshman year I dated a girl named Cashmere for a couple months. She was my first everything.” 

It’s not that I expected him to be a virgin like me and I would never hold his previous actions against him, but I can’t help the little sting I feel when I hear it. “Anyone else?”

“No, she was the last girlfriend I had. I’ve had minor hookups with one or two other girls, but nothing really serious. Cashmere is the only girl I’ve had sex with and we only did it a few times.” I nod my head, processing everything I was just told. 

“Okay.”

Peeta gestures at me. “What about you, who have you dated?”

“In high school I went on a couple of dates and my first kiss was with Darius, but it was no big deal. He likes to tease me about it a lot, but it’s only to get a rise out of me, he’s more like an annoying brother than anything else. I’ve gone on a few dates with guys here and there and had some heavy make out sessions.” Peeta already knows he’s my first to do anything sexual with.

“Okay. So, now we know.”

“So now we know,” I echo back. 

He gives me a boyish grin and leans in to kiss me. I pull the covers back so that I’m completely exposed again. Peeta breaks the kiss and raises his eyebrows at me as I swing my leg over him, straddling his stomach. 

“So now that that’s all out of the way, how about I return the favor?”

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Peeta and I stay up for most of the night talking and kissing and touching, and it’s one of the best nights I’ve ever spent with him.

We decide to try and get a little sleep around six in the morning, and when Peeta’s alarm goes off at eleven I groan and bury my head under my pillow. “Noooo,” I moan.

Peeta turns off his alarm then lifts my pillow so he can slide his head in next to mine. I look at him through my curtain of hair. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He leans forward and gives me a chaste kiss. “I don’t want to, but I really need to get back to my place so I can pack. We’re leaving at four.”

I sigh. “Okay,” I whisper back.

He seems as though he wants to say something, but hesitates, as if he’s battling with whether or not he should say it. Finally, he speaks up. “Last night was one of the best nights I’ve ever had. I wish it could have lasted forever.”

“Me too,” I respond as I move forward so I can wrap him in a hug. Peeta responds immediately, pulling me so that my bare torso is lying across his. He rubs his hands up and down my back before settling at my waist and gripping me to him tightly. 

But eventually we both have to let go. Peeta gets up and I watch him get dressed. When he has all his things together, I know that I can’t stay in my bed any longer. I stand and cross to my closet so I can put on my robe. We both walk to the door but wait to open it, because once we do our night will officially be over and it’ll be time for him to leave for three weeks. 

I reach up to kiss him once more before our little bubble is popped. Peeta moans a little in my mouth. “I’ll never leave if you keep doing that.”

“Don’t tempt me,” I say as I open the door.

We pass by the bathroom and I see the door is open. A quick look tells me that Finnick is standing there brushing his teeth. He spits into the sink before saying, “Tell me you’re not a virgin anymore, because you two were louder than the animals on the Discovery Channel last night.”

Peeta and I simultaneously lift our middle fingers to Finnick as we walk into the living room. When we reach the front door we stop. Peeta turns and hugs me tightly, lifting me slightly off the ground. “I’ll text you,” he says into my hair.

I nod and try not to cry. Geez, Katniss, pull it together. “Okay. I’ll see you soon. Have a safe trip. Call me if your family drives you nuts.”

Peeta sets me down and rests his forehead against mine. “I’ll see you soon.” 

With one last kiss he opens the door and leaves. Finnick comes through the hallway and leans against the wall, smirking. “Animals.”

I scowl at him and stalk off to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me before I do something stupid like cry.


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you so much for all of your birthday wishes yesterday, you definitely made my day that much more special! Thank you for your kind reviews and comments, too! Special thanks go to pookieh for being a great beta and for helping me every step of the way with this project. Thank you, soamazinghere, for all of the pre-reading, editing, and general hilarity that goes on when you read my chapters. 
> 
> Katniss and Prim's conversation is roughly inspired from a conversation I've had with my own teenage sister. Awkward, but necessary. 
> 
> I don't own the Hunger Games series.
> 
> Find me on tumblr at english1823

This has been the longest Christmas break of my life. Ordinarily, that would be perfect, because who doesn’t want Christmas to last just a little bit longer? This girl. As much as I love having time away from my studies, I miss seeing Peeta every day. Instead of snuggling with my boyfriend, I’m standing in the kitchen of my childhood home, waiting for the water to boil so that I can make hot chocolate before my mother, Prim, Finnick, and I settle in to watch movies. 

Tonight is Christmas Eve and it’s been exactly ten days since Peeta and I last saw each other. The physical separation has been difficult for both of us, but texting and using FaceTime has been a lifesaver, although I’m still blushing thinking about last night when our FaceTime adventure went terribly wrong.

“Aw, come on, Kat. Don’t be shy.”

My eyes are wide and I’m shaking my head from side to side. “No way, Peeta,” I hiss. “I’m not taking my shirt off so you can get a quick boob shot. What if Rye walks in and sees me on your computer screen?”

Peeta is sitting at a desk and he looks like a scene out of a movie; the fire crackling behind him, illuminating his blonde curls and making his eyes seem even brighter. He’s adorable in his grey thermal and fleece sweatpants and I’m having difficulty with not indulging him. “I already told you that I locked the door. Besides, Rye’s in the hot tub with some girl he met, I’m sure he’s getting his own show out there.”

I scowl at him. “Okay, fine,” I huff out. “But I’m not touching myself! You only get to look.”

“Deal,” Peeta says enthusiastically. By this point, I think he’s just willing to take what he can get. After having sleepovers almost every night for a month, we’re both feeling the frustration of being apart. 

I muster up my courage and scoot my chair back from my desk, giving Peeta a clear view of my body from the waist up. I let out a deep breath and quickly tug off my sweatshirt, leaving me in my camisole.

Peeta wolf whistles and grins. 

I laugh and begin to inch up my camisole, deciding to tease Peeta just a little. “Katniss!” 

Smirking, I take off my camisole and before I can lose my nerve, my hands slip back to my bra to unsnap it. The straps slip down my shoulders and I use my hands to hold the cups up into place. I see Peeta straighten up and look at me closely, all traces of laughter gone. When his eyes meet mine I let go of my bra and let it fall to the floor leaving me exposed. 

Peeta groans. “I’ve missed seeing you like this. I can’t wait to come home and see more of you.”

I run my hand through my hair nervously as I smile back at him. “Me too.”

Peeta moves his hand from the desk to his lap, and I know he’s stroking himself through his shorts. “I’m going to have to take care of this soon.”

I blush and reach back down for my bra. “Happy now?” I ask as I start to put it back on.

“Yes, but now I’m even more frustrated than I was before!”

I chuckle and hook my bra into place. “Hey, this isn’t easy for me, either. Especially after that last night we were together…” I trail off with a blush.

“Oh, you don’t say? I wasn’t sure if you liked that or not,” Peeta responds teasingly. “I really enjoyed our last night together, too. I really, really liked it.” 

I think my blush might be permanently etched on my face. Knowing that I’m no good at dirty talk, Peeta laughs before he continues, “You actually left some scratch marks on my back.”

I’m mortified as I slap my hand to my mouth. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry!”

Peeta waves me off. “After you finished you asked me if you passed out, and that’s like the best compliment I’ve ever gotten. I think it was the hottest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I wore those scratch marks like a badge of honor.” 

“Well, at least you have to wear lots of layers in the snow, so no one else saw them.”

“Well, actually…Rye did see them the day after I left. We were changing in the bedroom and he asked me why I looked like a raccoon attacked me. I had to tell him the truth.”

I groan. “Awesome. I can’t wait to get made fun of the next time I see him.”

“Yeah, you probably will. I got a slap on the back and a ‘congratulations,’ but yeah, you’ll definitely get made fun of.”

I roll my eyes and as I reach for my camisole, I hear a short knock and Prim’s voice as she opens the door. “Hey, Kat, dinner is ready.” She pauses in the doorway, taking in my frozen stance and Peeta’s dropped jaw on video chat. “Were you getting dressed in front of Peeta?”

Peeta clears his throat nervously. “Oh! Oh…I’m sorry!” Prim squeaks out as she retreats back out into the hallway, slamming the door shut behind her.

I’m still frozen when I hear Peeta laughing hysterically. 

“Peeta!” I hiss. 

“Katniss…I’m so sorry.” More laughter. “But come on! How many times did you ask me to lock my door to make sure no one would come in and you didn’t even do it yourself?”

I scowl as I shove my sweatshirt back over my head. “We are never doing that again! I’m serious, Peeta!”

Peeta and I said goodbye shortly after so I wouldn’t keep my family waiting for dinner. To her credit, Prim didn’t tease me or shoot me any funny looks; she was actually rather mature about the whole thing. 

The whistle of the teakettle snaps me out of my reverie and I grab the kettle and pour the water into four separate mugs and stir hot chocolate powder into each one. I place them on a tray and walk into the living room, where I see the lights have been dimmed. My mother sits in the love seat while Prim shares the couch with Finnick, who cheers when he sees me. 

“Finally! Okay, Prim, turn on ABC!” I can’t help but smile at their excitement as I walk around, letting everyone choose their mug. I grab one for myself and set the tray on the coffee table before sitting next to my mother, who flings open the blanket she’s snuggling under over my lap with a smile. 

“Thanks,” I say quietly and as we all settle in to watch 'The Santa Clause.’ 

After the movie is over, my mother gets up and yawns loudly. “All right, kids, I’m going to bed. “ She leans down and gives us each a kiss. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” we echo back. 

Finnick stands up as well. “I’m tired, too, ladies. Night. Merry Christmas.”

We say our goodnights to Finnick, who heads to the guest room upstairs.

Prim looks over to me and gestures with her head, letting me know that I should come snuggle up with her on the couch. Playfully, I roll my eyes and settle in next to her.

“Aren’t you tired too?”

“Not yet. Are you?”

“I think I could stay up for a little while longer.” I shift a little on the couch so I can face Prim. “So how are things going with Rory?”

She gives me a toothy smile. “Awesome. Wonderful. Amazing. He just…he makes me feel so happy, like all the time. It makes me wonder if this is what it’s like to really truly love someone.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, there are so many people I love, but the way that I love Rory is so different. It’s not just that I’m in love with him, it’s that he makes me feel so different than I’ve ever felt before… Like, I love every part of him, even the flaws are worth loving because they make him who he is, which makes me love the flaws even more. They show just how great his strengths are.”

Fuck, when the hell did she grow up? “That was really beautiful, Prim. How do you come up with this stuff?”

Prim giggles. “I was just being honest!”

“I know! That’s what made it so great! Peeta’s like you. He has this way with words…like, he’ll say something sweet to me and it sounds like poetry, but if I were to try to tell him the same thing, I’d sound about as eloquent as a five year old.”

“Well, you just have a different way of showing Peeta you care about him.” Prim gets a mischievous look on her face. “Like by taking your top off for him.”

I bury my head in my hands. “Oh, geez, Prim.”

She laughs. “Katniss, it’s okay, you don’t have to explain anything to me. Just maybe lock the door next time.”

I peek up at her and she’s looking at me with her eyebrows raised. “Actually, I wanted to ask you something, if you don’t mind.”

Straightening up, I say, “Of course, Prim. Anything.”

“How, um…how did you know that you were, um, ready to be ‘intimate’ with someone? Like, how old were you?”

Anything but that. “Oh, uh, are you and Rory…?”

“Well, we’ve made out and done, like, over the clothes touching, but lately I’ve been thinking that I want to do more. I’ve tried talking to some of my friends about it, but I’ve gotten some mixed reactions. Some of them tell me to just get it over with and to stop being a late bloomer, while other friends tell me that I need to wait or everyone in school will find out and call me a slut.”

“What? Prim, you’re not a slut,” I say angrily. “That’s not for them to decide. Are your friends the only reason why you’re thinking about doing this?”

“No! Rory and I talked about it a little while ago and we both feel like we’re ready. Like, now is the right time for us to do this.”

I nod my head slowly, trying to process the fact that my younger sister is pretty much on the same sexual level that I’m on. “Okay. Well, to answer your first question, Peeta is the first person I’ve ever done anything serious with.”

Prim looks surprised. “Really? I always thought you and that one guy you dated a while ago…Cato, had hooked up.”

Ugh, I forgot about those few dates I went on with Cato Mortensen. “No way. He tried, but I wasn’t feeling it, so I said no. We broke up because of it.”

“Oh, ew. I knew he was a jerk.” Prim’s quiet for a moment. “Okay, I have to ask. Have you and Finnick ever kissed?”

I pull a face and shove her. “Oh, ew, ugh. First of all, never suggest that again.”

“Sorry!” Prim interrupts. “He’s just so handsome! You’ve really never been tempted?”

I furrow my brow. “Yeah, Finnick’s handsome all right, but he’s just never been attractive to me. He’s hot in a sexless kind of way.”

Prim snorts. “Okay, sorry, I’ve just always wondered.”

“He’s my best friend and I love him very much. But no, never ever.”

“Good to know.” We fall into a comfortable silence.

“It’s a little weird to think of you doing things with Rory, but if that’s what feels right to you and to him, then I say go for it. I haven’t had sex with Peeta because I haven’t been ready yet, plus we’ve wanted to take our relationship slowly to make sure that we really are together for the right reasons. There’s no need to rush.” I pause for a moment before adding, “It doesn’t matter so much what age you start having sex, so long as you make safe choices and feel like it’s the right decision for you.”

Prim nods her head slowly, taking in everything I’ve said. “You okay, Prim?”

She looks up at me and smiles as she leans in to hug me. 

“Thanks, sissy,” she whispers in my ear.

_________________________________________________________________________________

 

Christmas Day arrives and we spend most of the day in the dorky knitted Christmas sweaters Finnick insists we wear, even during our family picture in front of the mantel before our presents are opened. Finnick has inserted himself so perfectly into our family; it’s as if we didn’t know we were missing a brother until he showed up. Our presents aren’t very many, but Prim’s surprise is the best of all: a new flute. 

When I was in middle school I tried to pick up the flute, my father insisting that my musical abilities would extend to instruments as well as my voice. My flute lessons were a disaster; I somehow managed to make the instrument sound like a herd of honking geese. Prim, who was only seven at the time, had a knack for the instrument and soon my teacher became hers. After my father died and money was tight, she had to give up lessons, but a couple years ago my mother was able to afford to buy her a second hand flute at a pawnshop for her to continue lessons again. 

But the flute Prim opened Christmas morning isn’t from a pawnshop; it’s brand new and sparkling, never been used. Prim’s eyes well up in tears as she delicately runs her fingers along the pieces in the rich, velvet case. “Oh, mom…”

My mother’s eyes are teary as well. “Music used to be such a big part of our home, for both you girls.” Her eyes flit over to mine. “I think it’s time we brought some of that back.”

Finnick reaches over for my hand and gives it a squeeze when I realize that I’m crying as well. I cannot imagine how much this gift means to Prim. Silently, I release Finnick’s hand and crawl over to my mom and sister and we embrace.

Prim gives a shaky laugh when we break apart. “It’s so beautiful. Thank you, Mama.” She leans over and picks up a small box with my mother’s name on it. “Why don’t you open one now?”

My mother accepts the gift and turns it over in her hands. “And who is this from?”

“That’s from me,” I respond, nervous to see her reaction.

She gives me a small smile as she opens the box and pulls out an unlabeled CD. Her brow furrows. “What is it?”

I take a deep breath. “It’s a CD I made. A while back Madge asked if she could accompany me singing for one of her music classes. I haven’t sang for a while, but I thought maybe you would like it.” 

At this point I’m staring at my lap and mumbling, but when I look up, I see my mother is crying again. “I mean, if you don’t want it…I know singing was more Dad’s thing than mine, but—” She cuts me off with a hug. 

I hold onto her tightly because we haven’t hugged like this in such a long time, not since before my father died. “This is so special to me. What made you think to share this with me?” She asks.

“Actually, it was Peeta’s idea.”

I think back almost a month ago to my conversation with Peeta. 

“Hey, Katniss, can I ask you something?” 

Peeta and I are snuggled up on his bed, enjoying a rare break from studying for finals. “Mmm?”

“I don’t want to make you mad.” 

My eyebrows shoot up. “Okay…” I draw out the word as I shift so I can look him in the eye.

“Remember when we ran into each other at the bar that one day? We were fighting in front of Haymitch?” I nod. “Remember how I mentioned that CD that you and Madge were making? What ever happened to that?”

I make a face at him. “Nothing happened to it. Madge used it for her class, she got an ‘A,’ end of story.”

Peeta sits up a little straighter. “Come on, Katniss. You are a fantastic singer. I bet you could’ve majored in music if you’d really wanted to. Why don’t you sing anymore?

I bite my lip and suddenly become very interested in playing with the string of my pajama pants. Peeta nudges me softly.

“Singing was always something my dad and I did together,” I begin quietly. “We used to sing all the time. My mother has a terrible singing voice, but every night while she cooked dinner, my dad and I would go into the kitchen and help her, or help watch Prim. And we’d sing. When he died there just wasn’t a need to sing anymore.”

“Katniss…”

“What, Peeta?” I know I sound defensive, but I’m starting to feel anxious and uncomfortable. “Lots of people can sing, it isn’t any big deal. It’s a silly thing to worry about.”

Peeta stays silent for a long time. “Does your mom ever ask you to sing for her?” he asks finally.

My heart sinks. “Yes,” I nearly whisper. Sometimes when we cook in the kitchen together she’ll turn the radio on and will quietly sing along, but I never join her. I know she misses having music in our home, but when I sing I think about my father, and when I think about my father, I think about all my family has lost. 

Peeta rubs my arm soothingly. “I bet she’d love to hear that CD, Kat. Think about it.”

My mother sniffles. “Well, Peeta sounds like a very nice young man.” She leans in to hug me again. “Thank you, lovey.”

After we finish opening our presents, we decide to spend the rest of the day relaxing together and watching movies. In the afternoon we decide to make Christmas cookies together, and Prim and Finnick challenge each other to see who can come up with the best decorations. My mother and I laugh as we watch them pile on mountains of sprinkles and frosting, making the cookies almost inedible. Finnick scowls as I wipe off the majority of his decorations on the cookie I’m about to eat.

“Hey, I worked really hard on that one!”

“Finn, if I ate this cookie my blood sugar would go through the roof! You’d find me passed out under the tree.”

“You just don’t know anything about haute cuisine.” He looks to my mother, who is trying to finish one of Finnick’s cookies, decorations and all. “They’re delicious, right Lily?”

My mother’s eyes widen and I see her force a smile. “They’re the yummiest.”

Finnick beams at her and turns to help Prim with hers. As soon as he turns, my mother quickly and quietly shoves the rest of the cookie into the trash can. I stifle a laugh as she pulls a face. 

Finnick turns back around and looks at my mother, pride written across his face. “All done, already? They were that good, huh?”

My mother rubs her stomach. “Mmm, they’re the best!”

“Do you want another one?” he asks eagerly.

“No!” she half shouts. “I mean, no thank you, sweetie. I don’t want to spoil my appetite for Christmas dinner. We should probably check on the ham, see if it needs basting.”

Finnick lights up. “I’ll do it for you!”

“Oh, okay, thanks, Finnick.”

He goes to the oven to baste the ham, and my mother and I decide to take our leave from the kitchen. When we’re out of earshot, I begin to laugh. “Too much?” I ask.

“Way too much. I think next year you and I will be in charge of the cookies.”

We share a small smile and I realize that this is one of the best Christmases I’ve ever had. Even though my father isn’t here and we all miss him still, we’ve managed to enjoy the day together as a family. My mother has been bright, cheerful even; she hasn’t retreated to her room once today, and I’m grateful. Prim has been walking around the house, beaming, and I’m so happy to see that look on her face. 

But as happy as I’ve been, I’ve found myself wishing that Peeta was here with us, making sugar cookies and watching corny Christmas movies. I wish I was able to call him today, but the reception in his cabin has been spotty at best, so I usually just wait for him to let me know when they have a good Wi-Fi connection. After dinner though I get a text from him wishing me merry Christmas and that he would call me soon.

The next day, Gale and his family stop over for dinner. Hazelle and my mother are finishing up cooking in the kitchen, leaving Gale and me to sit on the patio to watch the younger kids play a game of soccer in the backyard. Gale no longer has his leg cast, but his physical therapist still wants him to take it easy. Ordinarily, Finnick would be here too, but he’s spending the day with Annie and her family.

“So, I haven’t seen you around the Lodge very much lately, what gives?”

I make a face. “Yeah, they’ve cut back on my hours quite a bit, but that happens every winter. When the weather warms up I’m sure I’ll get some more requests for private lessons. At this point, I’m more of a seasonal summer employee, anyways. How’s the front desk treating you?”

Gale sticks a finger in his mouth and mimes throwing up. Ever since his accident he’s been forced to spend most of his days sitting, which means he’s been delegated to the front desk, the most boring job at the Lodge. “Yeah, I just love answering phones and checking people in and out all day. I think I’ll make a career out of it,” he replies sarcastically. 

“How soon until you can go back to your old position?”

“My physical therapist says I should probably wait a few more weeks before I do any strenous activities.”

I nod my head in understanding. We hear shouting and turn to watch Posy try and steal the soccer ball away from Vick, and can’t help but laugh at the angry look on his face when she succeeds. Still grinning, I turn to Gale. “So, has Madge been helping you with your ‘physical therapy?’” I ask playfully.

Gale rolls his eyes. “We’re just friends and we have been for years.” With a slightly more serious tone he adds, “I still don’t feel too up to dating yet.”

I nod my head in understanding, but I’m not really sure how to respond. Prim scores a goal, effectively winning the game for her and Posy. “Oh, score!” Gale shouts. “Awesome job, ladies! Better luck next time, boys.”

We watch as Rory tries to give Prim a noogie, but she squirms out of his grasp and jumps on his back, tackling him to the ground. Vick and Posy laugh, and they all dog pile on poor Rory. Gale and I can’t help but laugh with them. 

Gale turns to me. “Catnip, you don’t have to feel bad about what happened between us. I was thinking about it, and I’m glad that you at least were honest with me from the beginning. I’m moving past it. Don’t worry, I won’t end up an old maid, waiting for you,” he finishes teasingly.

Gale and I share a look, and I know we’ve said all we need to. I reach across the small patio table between us and pat his hand. “Well, when you are ready to date, promise me you’ll give Madge a shot? She might have a little crush on you.”

Gale grins. “Yeah, I may have gotten that impression from her.”

I laugh. “Madge isn’t too great at hiding her feelings, is she?”

“Actually, she told me that she has feelings for me.” 

My eyes go wide. “What? When did this happen? No one tells me anything around here!”

“Calm down! It was about a week ago, right before she left for vacation with her family, so she probably hasn’t gotten a chance to tell you the hot gossip yet, Perez Hilton.”

I scowl. “Ha ha. What did you say?”

“I was honest with her. I told her she was beautiful and a great friend, but that I wasn’t really into dating right now.” He gives me a wolfish grin. “When I am though, she’s at the top of the list.”

I roll my eyes. “Good to know.”

As Gale shrugs his shoulders, Hazelle comes outside to tell us to come in for dinner. Prim and the Hawthornes quickly run in to get washed up. When I stand, Gale throws his arm around my shoulders and we share a grin, and I know that I really do have my best friend back. 

Sure, the past few months have taken a toll on our friendship, but the fact that we’ve been able to move past it has been a testament to the bond we share. We head inside and take our seats at the kitchen table, ready to eat.

_________________________________________________________________________________

 

The day before Peeta is set to return home, I’m sitting in the living room of my apartment watching TV, when I get a request to FaceTime with him. I pause the television as I answer. 

“Peeta!” 

“Hey, Kat.” 

Immediately, I notice his melancholy voice and his lackluster smile. “Peeta, what’s going on? Where are you?”

Peeta sighs. “I’m in my room in the cabin. I’m supposed to be packing, but I just felt like calling you.” He pauses. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.” Tentatively, I ask, “Is everything okay?”

Peeta huffs and runs his free hand through his hair in frustration. “No! My mother just drives me insane sometimes! The vacation started off nice enough, I mean, she made a few little snide comments during the trip, but nothing too bad. Last night though, it was like all the nastiness she had been restraining just exploded on me and my brothers.”

“Oh, Peeta, what happened?”

“Well, it all started over this snide comment she made to Barm about when he and Daisy are going to set a wedding date. I mean, they haven’t even been engaged for that long, and I know Daisy has felt kinda weird about wedding planning since her mother passed away a few months ago. Barm has just let Daisy handle things on her own time, you know, when she’s ready.”

“Poor Daisy. Well, that’s understandable.”

“Right! But my mom just kept throwing in all these comments, like, ‘You know, our family really needs to know when to buy tickets to fly out here, we don’t want to be rude!’ So Barm tells her to lay off Daisy, and then came the shitstorm. She just kept criticizing them, saying how flaky they were being. And then she launches into how inappropriate it is for them to be living together out of wedlock, that she didn’t raise Barm that way. I mean, come on, growing up we went to church twice a year, on Christmas and Easter, I don’t think we really count as ‘church-going people.’ My dad just sat there and let her say whatever, because that’s all he’s good at. He never stands up to her, he just lets her just say whatever she wants.” 

“Oh, man. Did she rib into you, too?”

Peeta goes quiet and looks down at his lap.

“Peeta, what did she say to you?” I ask angrily.

“After dinner, Barm and Daisy went and holed themselves up in their room, so Rye and I were stuck with her and Dad. She started asking us about classes, but I knew that was her way of making sure we weren’t fucking everything up. I tried to get excited talking to her about my student teaching, but she kept making these faces. Finally Rye asked her what her problem was, and she launched into this big thing about me wasting my money on my English and Education degrees, how I was never going to get a job in this recession, and if I do then I won’t get paid enough and that I’ll have to rely on her and Dad for the rest of my life.” 

“What?” I screech.

Peeta sighs. “She just kept going on and on about what a waste going into teaching is, and talking shit about teachers and the education system. Half the stuff she was saying was total shit, it was all these ‘facts’ she had read in Newsweek and Time, which are totally anti-teaching anyways and complete bullshit.”

“Peeta, she is so full of shit! You are going to be an amazing teacher and I know you’ll get a job after you graduate. Don’t let the crap she recites to you from those damn articles get to you.”

Peeta groans. “It’s like, all of the worries and fears I’ve had about teaching just kept getting thrown in my face. And she’s my mom! She’s supposed to be supportive and proud, not critical and judgmental. I went to sleep last night wondering if I had made a huge mistake going into teaching, wondering how I was going to pay off my student loans. What if she’s right?” he asks in a small voice.

“But she won’t be! She won’t be, Peeta. Haymitch and your advisors will help you. They’ll make sure you get a job.”

“Yeah,” he agrees half-heartedly. 

“I think it’s normal to be worried about getting a job after we graduate, hell, I’m worried about getting a job!” I haven’t admitted that to him yet, but since we’re sharing insecurities, I thought I’d help make him feel less alone.

Peeta looks at me quizzically. “I thought you said Professor Beetee loves you, don’t you think he’ll hire you to be on his research team next year?”

“He hasn’t mentioned anything yet. Usually those positions are saved for graduate students.”

Peeta raises his eyebrows. “Aren’t you thinking about going to graduate school? I know we haven’t really discussed it, but I thought it was something you were interested in.”

I scrunch my nose. “I don’t know. Maybe? It would definitely help me get a better position on the research team.”

Peeta leans forward and looks at me earnestly. “Katniss, you should do it. When’s the deadline to apply?”

“In two weeks,” I say defeated. “But there’s no way I’d be able to get everything in on time.”

“Let Professor Beetee help you! Go talk to him, email him tonight! Do it, Katniss. I know you don’t talk about your research too much because you think I’ll think it’s boring, but I love the way your eyes light up when you do. I know it’s important to you. Just do it.”

He’s right. I don’t really talk about my research with anyone because I know that everyone thinks that spending all day in the lab with a whole bunch of plants sounds nerdy and boring, but the truth is…I love it. I love learning about what’s inside plants and how they can be used to heal and sustain life. There’s an entire pharmacy in our backyards, we just need to learn how to use it. I didn’t tell Gale this, but I’m actually glad some of my hours at the Lodge are being cut, because then I can spend more of my last semester in the lab. Truthfully, I can’t imagine leaving the team, not when there is still so much to learn. 

Peeta stares me down until I crack. “Okay, okay! I’ll email Beetee tonight, no promises, though!”

He leans back in his chair, a triumphant look on his face. “Good. You should always listen to me.”

I smirk. “Funny, I was about to say the same thing to you.” Peeta sobers up as I continue. “Don’t listen to your mother, she is so full of horse shit. You are so much better than she gives you credit for.” 

In this moment I’m reminded of our conversation the day after Thanksgiving, and I remember thinking I was going to have to hit Peeta over the head with praise and reassurances before he actually believes them.

“I wish I was back in Panem already,” he sighs. “New Year’s Eve sucked without you.”

“You’ll be here tomorrow, just one more day!” I try to be encouraging when I say this, but my voice drops when I tell him, “I thought about you all night on New Year’s.”

“Oh?” His lips quirk up in a devilish look.

“Shut up!” I say with a laugh.

I hear the sound of a door opening on Peeta’s end. I’m worried for a second before I hear Peeta call out a greeting to Rye. He turns to me and says, “We’re leaving for the airport soon, I should probably finish packing. Well, I should probably start packing.”

“Whoops! Okay, Peeta, we’ll talk more about this later. I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye, Katniss.”


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you so much for your kind reviews and comments, they always mean so much to me! Thank you, pookieh, for being a fantastic and very patient beta, and thank you, soamazinghere, for being a supportive and wonderful pre-reader. 
> 
> After this chapter, we have two more chapters and then an epilogue.
> 
> I do not own the Hunger Games trilogy.
> 
> I'm on tumblr at english1823

I wake up early on Monday morning, and groan when I think about the class load I have, but then I remember: today I get to see Peeta. We were hoping to see each other yesterday, but his plane was delayed several times. Around eleven o'clock last night, I got a text from him telling me that he was exhausted and was going to crash at his parents' place. But tonight after I get back from my last class, we're going out on our first real date.

Don't get me wrong, we've spent many nights hanging out and doing casual things, like catching a movie or going grocery shopping or grabbing a burger, but this will be different. Tonight we're both dressing up and going to a restaurant that doesn't make you stand in a line before you order.

Grinning, I get up and do my hair and makeup, since I'll likely only have time to quickly change my clothes after class before Peeta comes to pick me up.

Three weeks of Christmas break meant three weeks away from the lab, and while I missed doing my research, now that I'm finally here I just can't concentrate. It was difficult to pay attention through my day of classes, when all I could think about was seeing Peeta again. Finally, it's time for me to rush home to change my clothes and freshen up a little before Peeta arrives.

As soon as I walk through the front door, I hurry to my bedroom and change into the outfit I laid out this morning: the Anthropologie dress Madge bought me a few months ago with tights and boots. I'm fixing my smudged makeup when a text comes in from Peeta, telling me that he's leaving his apartment and will be at my place in about ten minutes. I grab my coat and head to the living room to wait for him.

I try sitting patiently on the couch, but I'm too jittery and excited, and I can't fight the urge to stand and do something any longer. I walk out to the parking lot to wait so I can watch for his car the second it pulls in. It seems like it takes forever for him to get here, but a glance at my phone tells me it's only been five minutes. Eventually, I see him pull into the lot, and through the windshield I can tell that he's beaming at me. As soon as he parks I'm at his door, and when he opens it I launch myself at him so that I'm awkwardly sitting on his lap while I hug him tightly.

He pulls me close to him and I bury my head in his neck. "I missed you, Peeta," I murmur.

Peeta chuckles and I feel one of his hands shift from my back to my hip before it slips under my dress and begins rubbing up and down my thigh. "God, I missed you too."

I pull back to kiss him soundly on his lips, and he gasps in surprise before returning it with equal fervor. Eventually though, he pulls back reluctantly and says, "If we keep this up we won't ever leave this parking lot."

"I wish," I say as I stand and retrieve my coat, which I dropped on the curb on my way to see him.

I settle myself in the passenger seat and before he starts the car, he leans over and kisses me softly. "You look so beautiful tonight." He runs his hand through my wavy hair. "I love it when your hair's down."

Our night is absolutely perfect. Whenever I watch people on TV or in movies go out on dates, it always seemed so awkward and forced, but this date with Peeta isn't. I'm able to relax in the moment and I don't want it to end. After dinner, we walk back to Peeta's car hand in hand and he asks, "So, do you want to go to a movie or—"

"Can we just go back to your place instead?" I interrupt.

Peeta laughs and pulls me into him. "Katniss Everdeen, what kind of cheap date do you think I am?"

I scowl. "What, do I have to buy you a drink first? Is that how it goes?"

Peeta laughs even harder before planting a sloppy kiss on my lips, which is ruined by his laughter and I can't help but join him. I start planting wet kisses all over his face, even though I know we're in public and probably look like a disgusting couple, but I can't bring myself to care.

"Okay, okay, fine! Truce! Let's go back to my place," shouts Peeta.

I grab his hand and begin to drag him to the car. "Come on, boyfriend, let's go!"

As soon as we arrive at Capitol Housing and are out of the car, Peeta is all over me, kissing me fiercely. We stumble to his front door and I nibble on his ear as he tries to unlock the door with shaking hands. Frustrated, he leaves the key in the lock and pushes me against the wall so he can shove his tongue into my mouth. His hands are braced against the wall by my head and I'm gripping his arms, his back, and his ass. Peeta pulls away with a shaky breath and while he takes a few recovering breaths, I snatch his keys and easily open the lock. "Show off," he mutters as he pulls me into the apartment. He closes the front door and hoists me over his shoulder before running into his bedroom.

"Peeta! Put me down right now!" I squeal. But he doesn't listen to my protests; he just gives me a slap on the ass before he throws me down on his bed. He leaves for a second to close his bedroom door, and with the click of the lock, he turns slowly to look at me, and I feel the electricity buzzing through the room.

I sit up to take off my boots and toss them to the ground while Peeta toes off his own shoes. I lie back down on the bed and watch as Peeta licks his lips while he loosens his tie, never once breaking eye contact with me. Once free of tie, he throws it to the ground and moves over to the foot of the bed. He swiftly slides up my body and kisses me soundly.

Our tongues battle for dominance. His hands are everywhere, ghosting against my sides, across my breasts, but what really makes me groan is the feel of him, hard against my center and grinding against me. Peeta's hands move up my dress and he pulls back so he can pull my tights off my legs before tossing them to the floor. He begins to kiss up my leg, from ankle to hipbone. He licks the seam of my panties, right next to my hip flexor, and I let out a breathy moan. "Peeta!"

He flashes me a devilish grin and moves to hover over me again. Bracing himself on one arm, he kisses me and begins to unbutton my dress. When he reaches the bottom, he lightly trails his hand against my center, and I know he can feel how damp I am already. I pop the clasp of my bra that rests between my breasts, exposing myself to him. He groans and moves his lips down my neck, placing an open-mouthed kiss on my stiff nipple.

I moan and run my hands through his soft hair. Peeta shifts so that he's resting in between my legs again, thrusting lightly against me. "Oh, Peeta," I moan into his pillow. I push up on his chest lightly and look him in the eye. "You're wearing far too many clothes," I say as I quirk an eyebrow.

"Is that so?" he responds in a husky voice that sends shivers down my spine. Nodding, I push him onto his back and climb on top of him so that I'm straddling his torso. My dress and bra are still hanging open, so I shrug them off and push them onto the floor and Peeta grins at me. Leaning forward, I begin to kiss his neck as I unbutton his dress shirt and untuck it from his pants. I kiss and lick down his chest and remember how much I've missed his taste over the last three weeks. I make quick work of his belt and quickly unzip his pants so that I can push them and his boxer briefs down his legs.

Peeta's erection springs free and I place an open mouthed kiss over the tip. He moans, "Ugh, Katniss. Don't stop."

Grinning, I lean down and lick his shaft from base to tip. Peeta's hands fist in my hair as I suck the tip into my mouth, hollowing in my cheeks. He's far too long to fit entirely in my mouth, so I place my hand at his base and pump him up and down. Peeta pants my name and I hum when his fingernails lightly scrape my scalp. Suddenly, Peeta grabs hold of my shoulders and pulls me up to him. "I don't want to finish too quickly," he explains breathlessly.

I give him a chaste kiss on the lips. "It's a good thing we have all night then," I respond as I slither back down his body.

"You're gonna kill me tonight, aren't you?" he asks.

"Yep," I say before I lick down his shaft again. I suck him back into my mouth and resume the pace that I left off on. I lightly grab his testicles and when I run my finger down the seam, he loses it, and I feel his semen hit the back of my throat while his fingers tangle in my hair. He whispers my name over and over again as he comes. I've missed that sound.

With a smile, I crawl back up his body so I'm on all fours and hover above him as I watch him come down from his high. He gives me a dreamy grin as he runs his hands up and down my sides.

I lean down to kiss him again and just as he slips his tongue in my mouth, we hear a loud wailing sound.

We both jump and I roll off him. "What is that?" I yell.

"The fire alarm! Quick! Grab something to throw on!"

The room is dark and it's hard to see. I end up grabbing the dress shirt Peeta was wearing earlier and put it on quickly, buttoning the middle few buttons as quickly as I can. We don't see any smoke, but that doesn't calm our hasty moves to get out of the apartment as quickly as possible.

We hear a banging on the door. "Peeta, are you okay?"

He throws on a sweatshirt over the athletic shorts he found on the ground as I grab my boots. I throw open the door to see Johanna and Annie. "Come on, let's go!" shouts Annie, and the four of us rush out the door.

We rush out to the large lawn on the side of the community where we see other residents huddled together. When we find a place to sit, I pull on my boots and notice how ridiculous I look in my knee high boots and Peeta's dress shirt, and how obvious it is what we were doing before the alarms went off. Johanna gives me a mischievous look and she asks, "So, what were you two up to?"

I groan and rest my head on Peeta's shoulder. He immediately wraps his arms around me, holding me close to him. A moment later, Peeta's resident advisor comes over to us. "Hey guys, thanks for coming out for our fire drill—"

"Fire drill?" screeches Johanna. "You dragged us out of our apartment at 11:30 at night for a fire drill? What the hell, Boggs?"

"It's standard protocol for a fire drill, Johanna," RA Boggs replies with a frown. "All you guys have to do is stand in line and sign yourselves in, showing that everyone in your apartment is accounted for."

We look over to the line he gestures at and see at least a hundred grumpy people crowded around a set of tables. Annie groans.

"Sorry, guys, mandatory procedure."

Almost an hour later the fire alarms have been turned off and we are finally allowed back into the apartment. Peeta, who noticed early on that I was freezing, forced me to wear his sweatshirt, and as soon as we are in his bedroom he burrows under the covers. I take off my boots and his sweatshirt, but keep his dress shirt on. I know it's one that he regularly teaches in, which somehow makes it a little sexier to me. Peeta lifts the covers to allow me to join him underneath his pile of blankets. We snuggle up together and I breathe in his scent.

"Well, that was an unwelcome surprise," he whispers in my hair.

I snort. "You're telling me."

Peeta shifts so that he's on top of me, resting between my thighs. "As much as that fire drill sucked, I have to admit, I really enjoyed seeing you in this." He begins to finger the buttons on the shirt. "But let's take it off of you…"

Slowly, Peeta unbuttons the shirt, exposing my puckered nipples to the cold air. His lips leave a sloppy trail from my mouth to my breast, and I moan his name as he flicks my nipple with his tongue. He kisses back up to my neck and grinds himself against my center, but it's not enough friction, there are too many clothes in the way. I use my feet to push his shorts down and off of him, revealing his hard-on again.

Peeta growls when he sees me lick my lips at the sight of him and moves to kiss me soundly on the lips. Our tongues begin to swirl together as he lays me back down, and I wrap my legs around his hips, reveling in the delicious friction he creates as he thrusts against me. My hips buck up to meet his and I don't think it could get any better until he starts kissing down my body. He leans back and makes quick work of taking my underwear off. I don't even get a moment to anticipate what's about to happen, because then he drops down to his elbows and begins licking my folds.

My body arches off the bed and I fist his sheets in my hands. He uses two fingers to spread my folds and thrusts his tongue into me while my hands tangle in his hair. I'm riding his face with abandon, but it's not quite enough. "Peeta," I whine, hoping he'll understand what I need. He hums against me and I'm panting into the air as he licks up to my clit, sucking it into his mouth. "Augh, Peeta…yes! Oh God," I moan.

He thrusts two fingers into me and the combination of sensations is my undoing. My eyes screw shut and I know that I'm moaning loudly, but I can't help it. Three weeks of fingering myself hasn't compared to the feeling of his lips on me. I'm breathing heavily as I come down from my high and I see Peeta grinning at me. I reach out my arms out to him and he slides up my chest to kiss me, his naked body settling in between my legs. I feel that warmth begin to fill me when his erection brushes up against my wet center. We've never come this far before. Peeta moans in my mouth and our kisses become even more heated as I feel the tip of him begin to enter me. We are so impossibly close, and I could scream in frustration when I hear the fire alarm go off.

"Not this again!" I shout.

Peeta winces because I've screamed in his ear and rolls onto his back. We wait a moment to see if the piercing sounds will stop, but it's no use. Peeta huffs and gets up, throwing his shorts back on as he goes outside to investigate. I burrow my head into his pillows, hoping to drown out the sounds, but it's useless, the alarms are way too loud. There's a light touch on my back and I look up to see Peeta standing next to me. "There's no fire and the drill is over, Boggs said that the alarms are just being faulty."

I flop back down on the bed and groan. Peeta nudges me and asks, "Do you want to just go spend the night at your place?"

This faulty fire alarm business could go on all night, so I nod my head and throw on my clothes. Peeta grabs a bag and tosses some clothes in it, I'm assuming so that tomorrow he doesn't have to run home before he has to leave to go teach. Peeta winces as he tries to adjust his hard-on in his shorts and I feel bad that he had to go out there with his obviously tented erection. The wailing sound is grating, but that doesn't stop me from walking over to him.

He gives me a quizzical look as I lean in close to him. "With the alarm going off, you can be as loud as you want," I say before dropping to my knees. Peeta's mouth drops open as I pull his shorts down and suck him into my mouth. I hollow my cheeks as I pump him up and down, and I can vaguely hear his moans above the alarm. It doesn't take long for him to come with a shout, "Oh, fuck, Katniss!"

I swallow every drop of him, and pull him out of my mouth to tuck him back into his shorts. He grabs his satchel and his car keys, and gives me a quick kiss, murmuring his thanks against my lips. We walk into the living room where we find Annie and Johanna sitting there miserably. When they see us, Annie's face lights up. "Oh, are you going back to Katniss' place?" she shouts.

Peeta nods his head in response.

Annie turns to me and asks, "Would you mind if Jo and I tagged along? I can sleep in Finn's room and Jo can sleep on the couch. We're never going to get any rest if we stay here all night."

"Sure, grab your stuff and let's go," I yell back.

Annie and Johanna quickly head to their rooms and in a couple of minutes they're back, ready to go. The four of us head to the parking lot and pile into Peeta's car. He speeds out of the lot, desperate to get the ringing sound out of our heads. We stay silent for the ride to my place, and as soon as the car is in park we quickly get out and walk to my front door. I motion for them to be quiet as I unlock the door and let us in. Annie whispers her thanks and quietly heads towards Finnick's room. Johanna plops down on the sofa and grabs the throw blanket we always keep along the back of it. "Do you want another blanket, Jo?" I ask quietly.

"Nah, this should be fine. Thanks for letting me tag along, Katniss. I owe you one."

I give her a small smile before Peeta and I make our way into my bedroom. As soon as I close the door behind me, Peeta flops down on my bed and snuggles under the blankets. I smile softly as I change out of my clothes and throw on some sweatpants and a long sleeved tee shirt. Before I crawl in next to Peeta, I take a look at my phone. 2:18 AM blinks back at me. I grimace as I set my alarm for the time that I know Peeta needs to wake up. By this point, he has begun to snore softly and while I'm disappointed at how our night ended, right now all I want to do is go to sleep.

All too soon my alarm goes off, telling me that it's already 6:30 in the morning. I blink my eyes open and fumble around my nightstand for my phone. Next to me I hear Peeta groaning. "Ugh, Katniss, turn that off."

I manage to locate my phone and quickly shut off the alarm. "Don't you have to teach this morning?"

Peeta lifts his head, and his tousled hair and the incredulous look on his face is almost comical. "Katniss, I told you like fifteen times that District 12 High doesn't start until next week."

Oh, shit. I totally forgot. Again. "Oh, I'm sorry."

Peeta turns onto his stomach and snuggles deeper into my pillow. "Honestly, Katniss, you've got a boyfriend and a sister at D12, and you still don't know the schedule? You never listen to a word I say."

I scowl. "Sorry, I was just trying to be considerate."

Either Peeta ignores me or has already fallen back to sleep, but I'm too irritated to immediately do the same. Yeah, okay, maybe Prim and Peeta mentioned to me a few times already that the high school doesn't start up again for another week, but I've got a lot on my mind and I forgot. Besides, shouldn't I be getting brownie points for trying to be sensitive to my boyfriend's schedule?

I reset my alarm to wake me up in a few hours so that I can spend the afternoon in the lab, and try to fall back to sleep. In his sleep, Peeta slings his arm around my waist, but I shove it back to his side of the bed and roll over to the edge of my mattress, far away from him, feeling hurt and annoyed.

It takes me awhile to finally fall back asleep, but when I do, I sleep straight through my alarm. Apparently during my early morning fumble I set my phone to silent, and Peeta and I both slept through the alarm. Peeta, who wakes up well rested and happy, seems confused when I only give him a chaste kiss on the cheek before I leave to spend a few hours doing research hours for Professor Beetee. When I get to the lab I turn off my phone and try to let myself get lost in the sea of plants and microscopes.

As much as I enjoy my research, I can't help but take the sleep-ridden words Peeta said to me this morning to heart. I know that he was tired and grumpy, but his words still stung. How can he think that I don't listen to him? We've talked about almost every day he's ever taught, what went well, what didn't. I listened to him rant about grading and behavior contracts, about dealing with his advisors and Haymitch coming in late. And most importantly, I listen to him when he comes home from spending a weekend at his parents. I listen to his doubts and insecurities. So what if I missed a small detail in his schedule along the way, big deal.

I find myself getting irritated with Peeta. Why would he imply that I don't listen to him. I didn't want to get woken up that early in the morning either, but I was actually quite proud of myself for remembering to even set the alarm. He made me feel so stupid and inconsiderate, and I'm mad at myself for thinking these irrational thoughts and mad at Peeta for making me feel this way.

Peeta texts me while I'm working, telling me that he hopes I have a good day and asking whose place I want to stay at tonight. I don't see it until my break, but I decide to wait a couple hours to text him back, and that when I do I'll tell him that I'm going to dinner with Madge tonight and that I'll have to see him a different day. I don't actually have any dinner plans, so I text Madge to ask if she's free before turning my phone back off. For once, I just don't feel like seeing Peeta.

Finally, after my shift is over, I turn my phone back on and see that I have several text messages from Peeta and one message from Madge. I check Madge's message first and see that she's confirmed she's free tonight and tells me where and when to meet her. I'm actually a little nervous to check Peeta's messages, but I remind myself that I'm the one who's mad at him.

Peeta: Oh okay : ( (3:15 PM)

Peeta: Are you all right? (4:01 PM)

Peeta: Katniss…? (4:20 PM)

I know that I need to text Peeta back, so I tell him I'm fine and that I'll see him on Thursday.

"So, let me get this straight. Peeta mumbled something when he was half asleep about you not listening to him, thus causing you to spend most of the day sulking? Is that really what all your pouting has been about?" Madge asks as she twirls spaghetti on her fork.

I shoot her a dirty look. "It was more than that! He was honestly telling me that I wasn't being a good listener and he made me feel like some moron who can't remember the simplest of things. It was rude!" I angrily shove a bite of pasta in my mouth.

Madge looks as though fighting the urge to not roll her eyes is causing her extreme pain. "Well, Katniss, you are a little forgetful."

My jaw drops. "What are you talking about, I'm not forgetful! And whose side are you on, anyways?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I should have been clearer instead of just insinuating I was on Peeta's side," she says, her words dripping with sarcasm. She takes a sip of water. "Katniss, you've blown this whole thing out of proportion! This isn't just some little thing about your boyfriend snapping at you. You're a grown woman and you're pouting because he said something when he was grumpy and tired? Grow up."

I furrow my brow. What is my problem? I snap at Peeta when I'm tired, hungry, hormonal, or when he's simply breathing too loudly. Why am I punishing him for a moment of tiredness?

Madge reaches over the table and touches my arm. "Katniss," she says softly. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but I thought that you needed a slap in the face. You don't want to cause a big argument with Peeta over something like this, do you?"

I purse my lips. "No," I admit grudgingly. I'm silent for a moment before I blurt out, "But he hurt my feelings!"

"I know. But why did his little comment hurt you so much?"

"Because…because I care about him so much that the idea of him not knowing it hurt me. Because Peeta is someone who deserves to know and feel just how loved he is."

Madge's eyes widen. "And just how loved is he?" she asks.

Well, shit. "A lot," I say quietly, refusing to meet Madge's eye. "I'm mad because I love him. A lot."

Madge whistles lowly. "Wait, I'm sorry…what?"

It feels like I've been slapped in the face with this realization, but the more I think about it, the more I know it's true: I love Peeta. "I love Peeta. I'm in love with him."

Madge squeals. "Katniss, you need to go tell him!"

My eyes widen and my body goes stiff. "What? That sounds fucking terrifying. What if he doesn't love me back? What if he does love me back?"

Madge looks at me like I'm an idiot. "Of course he loves you, you moron. And why would that be a bad thing?"

Suddenly images begin to flash in front of my face. My parents, happy and dancing in the living room, my father sneaking up behind my mother in the kitchen and kissing her neck, the two of them taking a nap together on the couch on Sunday afternoons. But then more images come to mind. My father's dead body lying in a casket, my mother lying in her bed refusing to get up, Prim crying because there isn't anything to feed her for dinner.

"I'm scared," I admit quietly. "What if we end up like them? Like my parents?"

Madge slides out of her side of the booth and comes into mine so she can hug me. There's a restaurant full of people and I know some of them are looking at us, but I don't care. I hug Madge tight to me; my face full of her blonde hair, but I clutch her tighter still, needing her strength to anchor me. I blink back tears I didn't know were threatening to spill over.

Madge whispers in my ear, "You have to have faith that you won't end up like your mother. Besides, isn't a life with Peeta infinitely better than a life without him?"

I sniffle a little. "Yes."

"Yes!" Madge smiles encouragingly. "You don't have to tell him tonight, but you do need to tell him eventually. And between you and me, I think he's loved you for a while now."

I don't know why Peeta would love me as much as I love him and my disbelief must show on my face as Madge laughs and playfully tugs on my braid. "Well, I did not see this one coming. Let's get you home." She waves our waitress over. "Check, please!"

After Madge pays for dinner, she drives me back home. I'm silent almost the entire way, but she doesn't pressure me to talk, which I greatly appreciate. I feel torn. On the one hand, I would love to see Peeta because some part of me has missed him today, even though we saw each other less than 24 hours ago. Yet, on the other hand, I'm terrified. I don't know if I feel ready to tell him that I love him yet; what if I blurt it out when I'm not supposed to and it's awful and awkward and embarrassing?

We get out of the car and when we get inside the apartment, Madge stops me to give me one last hug. "This is good thing, Katniss," she reminds me.

I nod my head. "Thanks, Madge," I say as I walk to my room. "And don't think that I'm going to let you get away with paying for my dinner! Next time is my treat!" I shout over my shoulder.

I hear Madge snort as I close my door. I see my phone on my bed and guiltily remember throwing it there before leaving for dinner with Madge, simply because I didn't want to worry about texts or calls. Picking up my phone, I cringe as it lights up again. 5 new text messages. Not wanting to have to deal with it right now, I check my e-mail before deciding what I'll say to Peeta.

For the most part they're typical spam and store promotion messages, but one e-mail in particular catches my attention. It's from the Admissions Department of the University of Panem. With shaky fingers, I open it.

Dear Miss Katniss Everdeen,

The University of Panem Jackson School of Sciences has received your application for the Master's in Environmental Sciences program. We are impressed by your application and would like to schedule an intake interview with you for Friday, January 11th at 3:30 PM. If this time does not suit you, please e-mail us right away, and we will reschedule.

Dr. Martha Leeg and Dr. James Mitchell will be your interviewers. You do not need to bring anything with you. The interview will be held in Reeves Hall, please check in at the front desk and someone will escort you to your interview.

Best wishes,

Professor Martha Leeg

Jackson School of Sciences


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you so much everyone for your reviews! Thank you so much, pookieh, for your fantastic beta work, even when I send you the wrong document. Thank you, soamazinghere, for being a speed reader and a great prereader! Ladies, thank you for receiving my inappropriate asks *smh*.
> 
> So I really feel that I should warn you all by saying this: I have been having a MEAN case of writer's block lately. My real life has kicked into high gear and I've had a lot of things to deal with, which means that I have not had very much time to devote to writing. While I know where Chapter 12 and the epilogue are going, unfortunately, neither of them are written yet, which means that it may be another week or so before I update again. I'm sorry to have to do this at the end, but I REALLY want to make sure that HFT finishes the way I want it to. I could force myself to write, but I really don't think it's fair to just throw an ending out there just to say that I finished "on time". It's not fair to the story, it's not fair to me, and it's not fair to all of you. So until I (and pookieh and soamazinghere) are happy with the story, I will not update a new chapter, and I won't apologize for that. If you want updates on how things are going, come hang out with me on tumblr at english1823.
> 
> With that, I hope you all enjoy this extra long chapter of HFT!
> 
> I do not own the Hunger Games trilogy.

"Finally, Miss Everdeen, tell us, why would you like to continue your studies in Environmental Sciences? Where does your passion come from?"

I sitting in a small office in Reeves Hall, and a desk separates myself from Professors Leeg and Mitchell. A glance at the clock on the wall to my left tells me that my interview for the graduate program at the University of Panem has been going on for about forty-five minutes. I take a deep breath as I smooth my sweaty palms on my skirt. "When I first came to U of P, I had no idea what I really wanted to do with myself, I just knew that I wanted to go to college." I take a shaky breath and try to calm myself down before I continue. "Once I started taking biology courses, then environmental science courses, I just knew, this is what I'm supposed to do with my life. I've always had a deep connection to nature, but being able to really study it, to learn how and why different plants grow, how they affect the world around us. People go for walks outside every day, but they never really realize what they're looking at, you know? They don't understand that the plant to their left is poisonous, but the plant to their right can be used to treat headaches. I want to discover the world around me; I want to understand what it's all about, because when I can do all that, I can help everyone around me know their world a little better too."

I know my voice is shaky, but I'm trying so hard to communicate how much I want this position on the graduate research team. "I've loved the time I've been able to spend in the lab, but I know that I'm not through there yet. There's a lot more for me to do."

Professor Leeg gives me a soft smile as Professor Mitchell finishes writing his notes down on the clipboard in front of them. When he finishes, he leans in to whisper in Professor Leeg's ear. She gives a small nod, and they both put their clipboards down. "Well done, Miss Everdeen," Professor Mitchell praises. "I must say, I've seen the work you've done in our labs and I'm quite impressed. You have glowing letters of recommendation from Professor Beetee and your boss at the Panem Lodge, Mrs. Paylor."

I glance at them hopefully, unsure of what to say. Professor Leeg saves me by saying, "Professor Mitchell and I both agree, we think that you'll be a wonderful addition to our graduate program here at U of P, if you would like to accept."

Oh. My. God. On the inside I imagine myself squealing and doing the cabbage patch, but on the outside I smile broadly at the two of them and shake the hands that are extended to me. "Thank you so much, Professors, this means the world to me."

"I take that as a yes?" Professor Mitchell asks with twinkling eyes. "Now, let's go over the two year program."

An hour later I'm practically skipping on my walk back to my apartment. I'm sure I look like an idiot, but anyone who judges me can go screw themselves, because I'm officially a graduate student now. This is one of the best moments of my life, and I know that I have to share my good news with someone, so I call the one person that I want next to me now that my dream has come true. The phone rings for a moment before he picks up.

"Katniss! How'd the interview go?"

"Peeta! It was so wonderful, they offered me admission on the spot!"

I hear whooping on his end of the line and I can't help but giggle at him. "Aw, Kat, I knew you'd get in, I'm so glad you applied!" he responds enthusiastically.

"I never would've done it without you, Peeta." And I wouldn't have. A month ago graduate school seemed like something I would never be able to do, but Peeta had confidence in me even when I didn't. I called him as soon as I read the email inviting me to interview with Professors Leeg and Mitchell, and while I know he was confused and hurt about my earlier behavior, he pushed it aside this week so that he could help me prepare for my interview. When I wasn't in the lab doing extra hours, Peeta had come over to help me get ready, even if I only had an hour to spare for him. "I don't deserve you," I say and I mean it so genuinely that I feel myself tearing up.

"Stop that, right now! You are wonderful and you deserve this happy moment. Do you want to come over to celebrate tonight? I'll make dinner."

My heart drops. "I told Professor Beetee that I'd stay late tonight to make up for getting time off this morning to get ready for my interview. I won't be finished until really late."

Peeta's silent and I know he's taking this as a brush off, considering how distant I've been ever since I had my epiphany about my feelings for him. Between that, working in the lab, and the time I've spent getting ready for my interview, Peeta and I haven't had more than an hour of alone time together since the night with the fire alarm. "Oh, okay. Well, maybe some other time."

"No, Peeta, I'll come over tonight after dinner. I really want to see you. I don't want to spend tonight with anyone but you."

He's silent again. It's strange for him to be the silent one and to have me be the one doing all the talking. "Okay, text me when you're on your way."

"Okay. I'll see you tonight."

"Sounds good." I'm about to hang up when I hear him add, "I'm so proud of you, Kat."

His words and the sincerity in his voices melts my heart, making me feel guilty for turning down dinner in one fell swoop.

"Thanks, Peet. For everything."

/BREAK/

I feel like I should be floating on air. I'm about to graduate from college, I was just accepted into graduate school, and I have an amazing boyfriend. An amazing boyfriend that I've been avoiding, because of my simultaneous irritation at his previous behavior and my newfound understanding of my love for him that has sent me running for the hills. My parents' relationship – the one that was supposed to inspire me - ended with a dead husband and an emotionally distant wife, so forgive me if I'm a little hesitant to do anything that may lead me to follow in their footsteps.

At least, that's how I've felt for the past week. Maybe I'm not ready to admit my feelings to Peeta quite yet, but I am ready to confront him about his earlier behavior. Before I know it, I'm wrapping things up in the lab and it's finally time for me to leave and see Peeta.

I decide to just take a long walk across campus to Peeta's apartment, hoping that the fresh air will help brace me for my confrontation with Peeta. All too soon, I'm knocking on his front door. It swings open and the moment Peeta sees me, he scoops me up in his arms. "I'm so proud of you!"

I can't help but laugh at him as I swat at his back. "Thank you! Now put me down!"

Peeta laughs with me as he closes the door behind us and leads me into his bedroom. He sits at his desk while I kick off my shoes and get comfortable on his bed. Peeta looks at me expectantly. "Well? Tell me everything."

He is so unbelievable. Peeta could have started off by asking me about why I've been a distant bitch all week, but no, he wants to sit down and share in my happiness with me. Wanting to enjoy this moment with him, I launch into my story about my interview, what questions were asked, and how I answered them. When I get to the part about being offered admission on the spot, Peeta does a happy dance in his chair. "Oh, Katniss, I'm so happy for you."

I get up and move to stand in between his legs. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I say, "I never would have done any of this without your encouragement, you know that right?"

Peeta leans up to give me a short, soft kiss. "I'm so proud of you, Kat. I knew you could do this."

I sigh heavily and shake out my arms. "It just feels so good to have everything done with, you know?" I lean my hip against his desk. "I never thought that I would get accepted to graduate school, so I never let myself consider it to be a possibility."

"Why not?"

In an attempt to seem casual, I awkwardly shrug my shoulders, but fail miserably. "It's expensive. Plus, what if Professor Beetee didn't like my work as much as I thought he did? What if I got rejected by the department, how horrible would that feel?"

Peeta leans forward and rubs his hands up and down my arms soothingly. "You'll work, and whatever you can't pay for right away you'll get loans and grants for. And given the responses your Professors gave you today, I don't think you have to worry about anyone not liking you."

I give him a small smile. "Thanks, Peeta." His eyes crinkle when he smiles at me. "I'm just so happy to have this whole interview process over and done with."

"Yeah, I bet it'll be nice not having to stress about that anymore."

I nod my head. "Mmmhmm."

He reclines back in his chair and gives me an appraising look for a moment before speaking up. "So, are you going to tell me why you've been avoiding me this week? We spent three weeks apart talking about how we couldn't wait to see each other, and then I finally get back and we've barely spent any time together. What gives?"

Well, shit. I bite my lip. "Um…well, it's just been a crazy week…" I trail off.

"Bullshit," he promptly responds. "Try again."

I twist my hands together and step out from the spot between his legs. "Peeta, do you remember when my alarm went off Tuesday morning?"

Peeta gets a confused look on his face as he thinks. "Um, vaguely? I think I got irritated with you, didn't I?"

He doesn't even remember. "You told me that I don't listen to a word you say. You made me feel stupid for forgetting your schedule and like a bitchy girlfriend who never listens to you."

Peeta stares at me in disbelief. "Katniss, are you serious? Is that why you've been so weird and distant this past week?" Peeta asks incredulously, pulling on his hair in frustration. "What are you, five?"

"No!" I shout angrily as my hands shoot to my hips. "And don't you dare suggest that I'm PMS-ing, because I'm not." I huff and some wisps of hair that have fallen into my face rise in the air with my breath. "Peeta, I'm trying to be honest with you. I'm trying to tell you how I feel but you're making me feel like shit for it."

"Really? Because you've made me feel like shit all week. Taking forever to respond to my texts; giving me short, clipped answers; not making any time for me," he trails off and I can see the hurt hiding behind the anger in his eyes. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry I snapped at you, I really didn't mean it. You listen to me better than anyone else does and I shouldn't have said that to you."

I've spent days wanting him to apologize and now that he has, it doesn't provide me any relief. Instead, I feel like absolute shit. "Thank you," I respond quietly.

"But Katniss, your irritation with me doesn't just give you the right to run and hide from me. For what it's worth, I found your attitude this week irritating, too, but did I ignore your texts? No. I made you cheese buns and helped you with your interview, because that's what people in relationships do, Katniss. They help each other. That's what you and I do, we help each other."

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. I feel defensive and angry; my avoidance of Peeta was largely in part due to the fact that I had a mini meltdown when I figured out I was in love with him, but I can't tell him that yet. Instead, I get snappy. "Yes, Peeta, you are easily the better one in this little duo."

Peeta rises out of his chair and quickly stands so that we're nose to nose. He's breathing heavily as he says, "Are you fucking kidding me? First of all, that's not true. I don't know why you would even say that. That's not what this is about, Katniss. Tell me the truth, why were you acting so weird this week?"

"It's complicated." I avoid his eyes. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

Peeta nods his head curtly and takes a step back. We're both silent for a moment before he says, "Look, it's been a really busy week for both of us. Why don't we just go to bed and we can talk about this in the morning."

He still seems pretty irritated with me, but I know that if I leave right now, I will only exacerbate the issue and prove all of the points he just made about me avoiding him and running away. "Fine," I say grudgingly.

Peeta doesn't look at me as he changes into a t-shirt and some sweatpants. Wordlessly, he tosses me a pair of his sweats and a shirt for me to wear as well. I give him a tight smile in thanks as I whip off my shirt and bra right in front of him. He looks away.

This hurts me more than I would have expected and I turn around to blink back the threatening tears while I change. When I'm done, Peeta turns off the light and I open his window just a crack, knowing he sleeps better that way. We slide into bed and Peeta immediately lies down with his back to me. I lean against the headboard and close my eyes. I feel like crying. He won't look at me, won't touch me. Ordinarily I think it would be safe to assume that in a fight between the two of us, I would be the one at fault, but I still think he's the one who started it all. I just want everything to be back to normal, like it was before we left for Christmas Break.

I exhale and open my eyes. The thing is, it doesn't really matter who's right and who's wrong, the point is that I made the person I'm in love with feel like shit. And he deserves a lot better than me. Why did I push him so much tonight? Why couldn't I just be honest with him? Because it's easier to be mad than it is to be afraid of my own feelings. I'm still afraid to tell Peeta how I really feel, afraid of having this blow up in my face.

I turn and look at his sleeping form. He has the blankets pulled up to his ears, making him look small and childlike in his bed. Even though we're still in the midst of a fight, I find it endearing and sweet. His shoulders are scrunched up to his ears, his tension evident even while he's sleeping. I hate that it's because of me. Gently, I lean forward and stroke his hair. He stirs a little, but sighs as he snuggles deeper into his pillow.

I come to an abrupt realization. As afraid as I am, nothing is worth making Peeta go to bed feeling angry and unloved. Peeta, who is the most caring and loving person I know, deserves to know how I feel, deserves to know how loved he truly is. I know I've been unfair and that he deserves someone who will shout from the rooftops that they love him, but I don't think I'm much up for shouting right now. But maybe I'm up for whispering.

"Peeta?" I whisper as I nudge him. When he doesn't move, I nudge him again, and whisper his name again, louder this time. "Peeta!" He groans as I crawl over to his side of the bed to hover over him. He reaches over to turn on the bedside light and begins to sit up, clearly annoyed at being woken up. I adjust myself so that I'm straddling his lap.

"What, Katniss? What are you doing?"

I rub my hands up and down his arms as I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what I'm about to say. Looking up and into his eyes, I see his eyebrows rise expectantly. "Peeta, I'm sorry," I burst out. His eyes widen as he leans his head back in surprise. "I mean, yeah, your comment did really hurt my feelings and it bugged me for a long while afterwards, but I shouldn't have treated you the way I did this week. Especially when you took the time to help me get ready for my interview; an interview I wouldn't even have gone on if it wasn't for you."

Impulsively, I lean in and kiss him. Before he has a chance to process what I've just said and kiss me back, I pull away from him. I brush his hair out of his face and bracket his face between my hands. "Peeta, I am so completely and utterly in love with you. I realized it a couple of days ago and it scared the shit out of me, but I don't care, because I just want you to know. I'm sorry I was mean and distant. I-"

Peeta cuts me off. "Wait, that's why you've been bat-shit crazy this week?"

Okay, not the reaction I was hoping for. "Yes. I was scared of loving someone as much as I love you, but I don't want to be scared anymore. I just want to be with you. I want it to be me and you, always."

Peeta's mouth hangs open. He seems to notice this and closes it with a little shake of his head. "So, you're in love with me?"

"Yes."

"You, Katniss, love me, Peeta…"

"Yes." I pause for a moment. "Now might be a good time to tell me how you feel."

Peeta gives me the most breathtaking smile I've ever seen; his whole face lights up, he seems to be radiating joy. Out of nowhere, he flips me onto my back and I squeal while he settles himself in between my legs. He peppers my face with kisses as I giggle. He leans back a little so I can look him in the eye. "I love you." He leans back down and places a kiss on my brow. "I love you." A kiss on my nose. "I love you." A kiss to my lips.

I'm beaming before he leans back in and kisses me deeply and passionately, holding me close to him. I know that I have never been so happy in my entire life and the tension from before melts away. We stay like that, just kissing, my body cradling his, but we're in no rush. We have all the time in the world. His hips roll into mine and we both know where this is going, where it was always meant to be.

At some point he reaches over and turns off the lamp. The curtains in his room are drawn back, allowing the moonlight to shine in, illuminating Peeta's body on top of mine. All I can hear are the sounds of our kisses, our heavy breaths in the air. Peeta leans back and takes his shirt off, his gaze smoldering into mine, and I lick my lips in anticipation. He comes back to me, running kisses up and down my neck and latching onto the spot that he knows will make me keen and moan his name. He wraps me in his arms and crushes my body to his, holding me tight, and I feel so content just being in his arms.

I feel a faint smile on my neck as Peeta's arms shift so his hand can inch my shirt up over my stomach and I push him back a little so I can take it off and toss it onto the floor next to his. We share a smile before his lips latch back onto mine. My hands tangle in his hair as his move to cup my breasts and I sigh into his mouth.

The oversized sweatpants that I'm wearing tangle up in my legs, so I try to shimmy out of them. Sensing my difficulty, Peeta breaks away to help me, tugging both the pants and my underwear down my legs. When they're off we share a long look before he leans back in to kiss me, but I stop him. "Yours too," I whisper breathlessly.

I see surprise flash in Peeta's eyes, before they darken. He nods his head as he pushes his pants and boxers off his hips. Once they're off and he throws them on the floor, he turns to look at me. I lean in and kiss him before flipping him onto his back with a groan. We've never been naked together at the same time and I relish the feeling of the skin of his hips rubbing against mine. Straddling one of his legs, I begin to kiss a trail down his jaw to the sensitive spot behind his ear. Peeta pants my name as he reaches both hands up to cup my ass, pressing me against him.

As much as I enjoy just lying here kissing him, I want more of him. I make my way down his chest, kissing as much of him as I can. Every inch, every muscle. When I reach his hardness, I lightly kiss the tip before flattening my tongue and licking his shaft. Peeta moans my name as his fingers thread into my hair, his nails lightly scraping my scalp. I take him into my mouth and begin to slowly bob my head up and down. Looking up, I find Peeta staring back at me, his eyes dark and full of lust. Humming around him causes his head slam back down onto the pillow behind him. Before I can increase my speed, he grips my arms and gently pulls me away with an apologetic smile. "Too much?" I ask.

"Just way too good." Peeta begins to scoot down the bed a bit and I give him a curious look. When he's settled in the middle of the bed, he says, "Get on all fours and crawl up my body. I'll tell you when to stop."

Confused, yet intrigued, I give him a quick kiss as I slowly make my way to the head of the bed. When my hips reach his head, he gently stops me and pulls me down to him so that my pelvis is just above his face. I glance down at him and he gives me a wicked grin before his fingers part my folds and he begins to lick my center.

"God, Peeta!" I cry out. In response, he licks his way up to my clit before sucking it into his mouth. My arms almost give out, but I manage to hold myself up, unwilling to move away from his mouth. We've only done this once before, but this angle feels so incredibly different from the last time. I can't help but grind my hips against his face, trying not to go too hard so I don't smother him.

I'm panting uncontrollably and I'm thankful he can't see my face, which I'm sure looks ridiculous, but I don't care. Peeta's mouth licks and sucks me in a way that I would never have thought possible. "Yes, Peeta, yes, yes, yes," I moan when he begins nibbling on my clit. My hips begin to rock back and forth, but Peeta's hands come up to grab my hips, holding me still against him. When he lightly tugs on my clit with his teeth, my eyes screw shut and I let go with a shriek. My hands fist the sheets as I chant Peeta's name like a mantra. My heart is pumping wildly and my whole body shudders as my orgasm rips through me. Dazed, I roll over until I'm on my back, arms flung over my head, knees bent and spread.

When I open my eyes, I see Peeta sit up and wipe his mouth, looking very pleased with himself. I open my arms to him and he immediately comes in between my legs, his lips meeting mine. His tongue licks at my bottom lip and I allow him entrance, tasting myself in his mouth. He settles in on top of me and when the tip of his erection grazes my wet folds, we simultaneously groan. Peeta breaks the kiss and leans back to look at me, gauging my reaction. In response, I roll my hips up to meet his to encourage him. "Yes, Peeta."

Peeta moans and just before I think he's about to push into me, he quickly pulls away and reaches over to open the drawer to his nightstand. He fishes out a condom and with shaky hands, opens the package. "I bought these when we started hooking up a couple months ago. Just in case," he explains as he pinches the tip and rolls it onto his erection. I nod my head as he settles back between my legs. He reaches down to part my folds and as he slowly pushes into me, my mouth drops open. "I love you, Katniss."

It's a strange feeling, so different from having his fingers or his tongue inside me. Of course, he's much thicker and longer than anything I've ever experienced, but the fullness isn't unwelcome. I feel a pinching sensation, but it isn't wholly unpleasant. When he's fully sheathed within me, we both gasp simultaneously. Peeta leans down and lightly bites my lip. "You feel amazing," he whispers in my ear before capturing my lips in a kiss.

When he pulls his hips back and thrusts into me, I can't help but moan. "Yes, do that again," I pant. Peeta snickers and I roll my hips, changing the angle for both of us and causing Peeta to spew out a string of obscenities.

"Fuck, Katniss," he hisses before thrusting in and out of me again. I'm mesmerized by his strong arms supporting himself as he continues to ease himself in and out of me. I run my hands up and down the planes of his back, the feel of his muscles only serving to make me even wetter. It's as if I can't get enough of him.

We're a little clumsy at first, although Peeta's limited experience does give him an edge in learning how to work together. I lean forward and kiss a trail from his jaw to his neck as he pulls and pushes himself in and out of me. Eventually, we find a sort of rhythm, and I can tell that he's close when his hand snakes down to play with my clit, trying to get me to catch up with him. He's a little distracted and the movement of his fingers is a little off, but his moaning tells me that he's trying to hold back. What he's doing feels amazing and intense, but I know that I won't be able to finish this way. I kiss him softly and murmur against his lips, "I love you, Peeta. It's okay, let go."

He pushes into me a couple more times before reaching his climax. "Oh, God, Katniss," he shouts into the pillow behind me. His body stills and then sags on top of me while I run my hands through his hair and across his back as he comes down from his high. Still a little high strung, I squirm a bit underneath him, my body begging for its own release. Peeta rolls off of my body with a small apology, no doubt thinking that my movements mean I'm uncomfortable with his weight on me. He still looks a little winded, so I decide to take matters into my own hands; literally, as my hand travels down to finish myself off.

It doesn't take me long and when I come down from my climax, I turn my head and find that Peeta has been watching me, breathing heavily and looking at me with lust filled eyes. He leans in and gives me one more kiss. "Wow… that was hot," he breathes against my lips.

I'm still breathing a little heavily myself and I notice a thin sheen of sweat that coats both of our bodies, but I can't find it within myself to care. I roll onto my side and snuggle into Peeta and he reaches down for a blanket and covers us up. I place a kiss to his chest and release a long sigh.

Earlier this evening, I never would have predicted for this to happen, that I would be happier and more satisfied than I ever have before. "I love you," I say as I snuggle deeper into his arms.

He kisses my temple. "I love you, too. So much more than you know."

____________________

The next morning I wake up in almost the same position I fell asleep in. Carefully, I extract myself from Peeta's arms and quietly get up, grabbing his shirt to throw on as I make my way to the bathroom. After I finish, I return to Peeta's room to find him sitting up in bed. When he sees me I'm rewarded with a goofy grin as he opens his arms to me. I can't help but giggle as I hurry back to bed and into his waiting arms, snuggling close to him.

Peeta kisses my temple. "Good morning," he mumbles into my hair.

"Morning," I respond quietly. I'm content to just sit here and relax in Peeta's arms, but my stomach rumbles loudly, ruining the moment.

Peeta's body starts shaking with laughter and he actually snorts into my hair. "Ugh, sorry, I think I drooled on you," he chokes out and tries to wipe my hair. I sit up and purse my lips at him, attempting to scowl with a stony face, but not doing a great job at it. I can't help but laugh with him.

"Wow, give you a few orgasms and the scowl just wipes right off your face, doesn't it?"

I pretend to be shocked by his statement and give him a playful shove, which barely manages to move him at all. "How about I bring us breakfast in bed?" he suggests with a chuckle.

My stomach rumbles again. "Yes, please," I respond sheepishly, still a little embarrassed by my weird and ill-timed stomach noises.

Peeta pulls on his pajama pants before heading into the kitchen to find us something to eat. A couple minutes later, he returns with a plate full of donuts and two glasses of milk. "Yesterday I got bored and made these."

My eyes light up. "Yes, yes, yes. Gimme!" I reach out for the biggest donut on the plate and take a huge bite. "This is delicious," I manage to get out, but not without a few crumbs flying out of my mouth.

Peeta grins around his own mouthful and together we finish the plate. When I'm done, Peeta takes my plate and glass, and sets it down on the nightstand next to his own. He gives me a toothy smile and says, "So, last night…"

"Was wonderful?" I supply.

Peeta laughs. "Yes." He leans against the headboard with his legs bent and I move over so that I'm leaning against his knees. He grabs hold of my hand and looks a little nervous. "But I still want to talk to you about something."

This makes me anxious and I bite my lip in response. "Okay."

"Katniss, you… you ran from me. Things got hard and you ran away from me. I just…I need to know that the next time things get difficult that you won't shut me out afterwards."

I spent this whole week focusing on my feelings that I didn't even stop to consider how Peeta must have felt. "Peeta, I'm so sorry, I'm just… I'm not good at talking about how I feel. This whole falling in love thing has been scary for me." My voice drops to a whisper by the end of my statement.

At my admission Peeta crushes me to his chest. "I thought you were breaking up with me," he whispers in my ear.

Startled, I push off his chest. "Wait, what?"

Peeta looks at me with a furrowed brow. "Well, I mean, you were acting so weird, not wanting to be around me, being short with me when we were together… I just thought that maybe… you realized that being with me wasn't all it's cracked up to be, and-"

I cut him off with a kiss. When I pull back he gives a slightly dreamy, but confused look. "What was that for?" he questions.

"Peeta, you're my favorite person in the whole world and I hate that you think so little of yourself. I was too busy being wounded about what you said, then freaking out over my realization that I'm in love with you." I look down, nervously twisting my hair in my fingers. "I hate that I made you feel so insecure in our relationship."

He sits up and turns on the lamp again. "Katniss, it's hard for me to share these things with you because I'm afraid you'll see me for what I really am. All those things my mother would say to me, over and over again. I'm afraid you're going to wake up one day and see me for what I really am, because I know I would hate you for it. I would hate you if you saw me the way my mother sees me, the way that I see me. Because I love you too much… The idea of you really seeing me as lazy or stupid or undesirable is too much for me to handle."

In that moment Peeta looks so incredibly broken. I have never seen him more vulnerable and real before in my life. To confess his deepest fear, that I would see him the way his mother sees him, that he would hate me the way that he can't hate her. Because she's his mother and it's too difficult for him to hate her, but there's a possibly that he could hate me.

"But I won't let you," I say suddenly. "I could never see you the way she sees you. The version of you she thinks she sees isn't real, Peeta, it's not real." I grab his hands and entwine my fingers with his. I kiss his knuckles and clutch them close to my chest. "Because I see you, the real you. The way you double knot your shoelaces and never put sugar in your tea. The way you make me cheese buns when I'm stressed or don't feel good. The way you look when you go over your lesson plans. The way you look at me after we kiss. That's the real Peeta, the one that I love."

He lets go of my hands and wraps them around his torso. "Katniss, what if she's right about me? Why would you want to be with me? What am I to you?"

"You're so many wonderful things, Peeta. I wish you could see that about yourself. You're a painter, a baker, a friend, a teacher, a lover, a son, a man. To me, you're perfect. This is the real Peeta, the one that I love."

He still looks skeptical, so I do the only thing I can think of. I lean in and kiss Peeta full on the mouth. His body is tense at first, but then he begins to reciprocate. My hands slide down his arms to entwine our hands once again. Desperate for air, I break our kiss and lean my forehead against his. "Don't let your mother ruin how you feel about our relationship. Don't let her take you from me. "

Peeta looks into my eyes, searching for answers, looking to see if I really mean what I say. His face softens. "No, I don't want her to, I won't let her. I can't let you go." He leans in and kisses me softly. "Stay with me?" he asks.

I know that he still doesn't fully believe that his worth is so much greater than what he's been made to feel, that maybe it'll take years to make him see how special he really is, but I'll be there, he has to know that I'll always be there for him. He has to know that. I'll always be there, no matter what.

"Always."


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To say that this is emotional for me would be an understatement. Thank you so much everyone, for your support during my little hiatus, it meant so much to me. Thank you for your reviews and for sticking with this story, I have had a blast writing it! There WILL BE an epilogue, although it probably won't be ready for another week, but I figured I would post Ch. 12 now. I think you've all waited long enough.
> 
> Thank you pookieh for being a beta extraordinaire and for getting this back to me so quickly, and soamazinghere for your speed reading and support of me during this time. I really cannot thank you both enough.
> 
> Find me on tumblr at english1823

CHAPTER 12

"TURN IT AROUND, TURN, TURN, TURN IT AROUND! LOVE TO HEAR IT, LOVE TO HEAR PERCUSSION!"

I'm cringing in my seat, sandwiched between Finnick and Madge as they sing along to Fat Amy's solo in Pitch Perfect. When she pulls open the buttons on her shirt, Finnick and Madge pretend to do the same with their own shirts, and I can't help but laugh with them when I see their matching grins.

"You guys are too much," I choke out between giggles.

"Katniss, lezbehonest, you know I can't resist Fat Amy," Finnick replies between laughs.

"Yeah, you know how much Finnick 'loves to hear percussion,'" Madge sings.

I roll my eyes and the three of us laugh together. Tonight is a roommate night, no boyfriends or girlfriends allowed. Tonight, it doesn't matter that midterms are this week or that we each have class early in the morning, or even that we've all seen this movie dozens of times—what matters is that this is the first night in over a month that the three of us are free at the same time. Tonight, the three of us are all bundled under the same blanket, watching goofy movies and spending time together.

Madge and Finnick spend almost the entire movie quoting lines back and forth, and as dorky as they are right now, I'm enjoying this while I can. There are only three more months left in the semester, which means that there's only three more months left until we graduate. Last week Finnick told us that he and Annie would be getting a place together when our lease is up. But I just can't accept that the three of us will be parting ways already. I love the dynamic that Finnick, Madge, and I have as roommates, and I just don't want to give this up quite yet.

"Finnick," I say suddenly, ignoring Beca's argument with Jesse on the screen. "Why don't the four of us live together?"

Madge grabs the remote and to pause the movie while Finnick gives me a bewildered look. "What?"

I sit up, excited with my idea. "I just, I love living with the two of you so much, and Annie is awesome, so why don't the four of us rent a condo or a house or something, and just all live together? It'll be cheaper that way, too."

Madge and Finnick consider my offer, before Madge speaks up, "It's not such a bad idea. Between the four of us, I bet we could afford to get a nice house, maybe even near the District Four neighborhood."

I bite my lip nervously as I look over to Finnick. "What do you think? Would Annie even be interested?"

Finnick's silent for a moment before breaking out into a huge smile. "You know, I was really dreading saying goodbye to you girls, even you, Katniss," he finishes jokingly. I snort. That's rich, since last month he spent a week staying at my house with my family and me for Christmas Break. "I bet Annie would be game to share a place together. Just the other day she was complaining about the rent prices of the apartments we were looking at. Let me talk to her about it tomorrow."

Madge squeals and pounces onto Finnick and me, effectively pulling us into a group hug. To be honest, Finnick's admission about moving out was a reminder that I had absolutely no idea where I was going to live after graduation. After spending the last year on my own, I can't imagine moving back in with my mother and Prim.

As much as I love Peeta and as wonderful as our relationship has been, especially over the last month, I just don't think we're ready to take the next step in living together. Besides, Peeta doesn't even know where he'll get a teaching position, he may have to pick up and move to another part of the state, but I'll have to stay in Panem for school.

When Madge releases us, her phone, which is resting on the coffee table, begins to go off. Finnick snatches it up to take a look. "What do we have here? A text message? Oh, it's from Gale."

Together, Finnick and I do a very accurate impression of elementary school students as we shout "ooh" at Madge and make kissy faces.

"What does it say? Is he asking you if you like him-like him or just like him?" I ask in mock seriousness.

Madge blushes. "You guys suck. Gale and I went on one date over a week ago, and he still has yet to mention it."

"Ugh, that's because Gale is awkward as all hell," I respond.

And it's true. After their date—to the batting cages of all places-he immediately texted me, asking if Madge had a good time or not. I didn't get a chance to respond, since Madge was busy waking me up by jumping on my bed, telling me what a good time she had.

I knew both of them were nervous for the date, but given the texts Gale sent me the next day, I think their enjoyment of the night was mutual. Despite my best efforts of telling Gale to ask Madge out on another date, he has yet to make another move. But I know he's trying to take things slowly and not rush into anything too intense.

"Hey, I'm the only boy allowed here tonight, missy," Finnick scolds. "Down with the phone!"

Madge hurries out the rest of her response before putting her phone back on the table. "Sorry, sorry!" She then does a little happy dance. "Actually, I'm not sorry. Gale just asked me out to dinner tomorrow!"

"Finally! And just before your thirtieth birthday, too," Finnick says sarcastically. "Geez louise, he took for-freaking-ever."

I snort in laughter and make a mental note to tease Gale for finally growing the balls required to ask Madge out again. Madge sticks her tongue out at Finnick before replying, "Lay off! We've known each other practically our entire lives. If we rush into anything too soon we'll mess it up and everything will be weird and awkward." She pauses for a moment. "Besides, we'd have to split custody of Katniss. Trade off weekends and holidays, yada yada. I don't think she'd handle it very well."

I roll my eyes at Madge's dramatics while Finnick laughs. Just as I'm about to grab the remote out of Madge's hand and press play, Finnick nudges my side with his elbow. "So, got any big plans with loverboy for Valentine's Day?"

I blanche. "Oh, yeah. That's soon, right?"

Madge gives me an incredulous look. "Uh, yeah. As in, it's in less than a week. Do you mean to tell me that you finally have a gorgeous boyfriend that you're having near constant sex with and you're not planning anything for Valentine's Day?"

Madge. Ever the romantic. I shrug. "Um…"

"Oh, come on, ladies. Who gives a fuck about Valentine's Day? Why don't you just March 14th it and call it a day?" Finnick asks.

Madge and I exchange puzzled looks. "What's March 14th?" I ask.

Finnick's mouth hangs open. "Steak and Blowjob Day, dum dum," he replies as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "It's the male equivalency of Valentine's Day."

I raise my eyebrows as I consider the option. "Is beer allowed?"

"Beer is always allowed."

"Okay, yeah, we'll just do that." I get settled back into my spot on the couch and grab the remote from Madge's hands. Madge stares back at me with her mouth slightly open, but I choose to try and ignore her shocked reaction; I'm about to push play but I hesitate. "Do you think Peeta will mind?"

Madge snorts as Finnick howls with laughter. "I'm sure he'll be fine," he reassures between snorts.

_________________________________________________________

Peeta and I are resting against his headboard, and while Peeta is concentrating on his computer screen as he enters grades into Haymitch's online grade book, I can barely focus on the dry text in front of me. Frustrated at my lackluster study skills, I drop my book onto the ground next to me and moan loudly as I twist so that my head is near the foot of the bed as I flop onto my back. I throw my arms over my face and Peeta must find my position funny as he snorts. "Bored?" he asks.

I groan as I fling my arms over my head and prop my feet up on my headboard. "Yes. My homework is so boring." I'm whining but I just can't find it in me to care.

Peeta rolls his eyes and barely looks at me as he sarcastically says, "Really? I love doing my homework. It's more fun than sex."

I scowl as I playfully kick his shoulder. "Hey!" he complains as he swats my leg away.

Peeta types for a few more minutes while I space out and try and decide if it's too late to drop out of college so that I don't have to do anymore homework. As I decide it's probably not worth it, Peeta closes his laptop and gently sets it on the ground before crawling towards me and resting his head on my stomach.

"All done?" I ask as I begin to play with his hair.

In response Peeta lifts my shirt up so that my stomach is exposed and blows a raspberry on my bare skin. I laugh as my body curls in on itself. "Stop!" I shout between laughter. Peeta grins in response and settles back on my stomach. As my giggles subside, he rests his chin on my torso, looking up at me. I thread my fingers back through his hair.

It feels as though we can't touch each other enough and I revel in every opportunity to be close to him. On his end, Peeta doesn't seem to mind so much, his eyes twinkling with a special look he saves just for me every time my arms wrap around him. He has that same look in his eye as he kisses a path up to my sternum and begins to speak. "I have an idea."

"Oh?" At this moment I'm not super interested in hearing his idea, but rather focused on the way he keeps pressing feather-like kisses over my clavicle.

"Mmhmm." He nods as he kisses his way back down to my stomach and I can feel myself getting wet with each kiss. Just as I close my eyes, he blows another raspberry on my stomach.

"Ugh! Peeta!" I shout.

"Yes, love?" he asks innocently as he rests his chin on my stomach again, eyes twinkling when he sees my scowl. I almost think that he's ready to be serious again, but that's before he lifts my shirt a little further to lick the underside of my breast.

"Peeta," I moan. He's snickering against my breast. Frustrated, I push him off of me and sit up. "Stop teasing me, punkass. Just tell me your idea already."

Peeta laughs as he sits up next to me. "Okay, okay! Well, I was thinking that on a day you were free, maybe you could take me into your lab. You know, to show me where you do your research, tell me about your crazy microscopes. I want to see it."

I'm stunned. No one has ever wanted me to take them into the lab before. Not that my family and friends are unsupportive, but I know that the majority of the population finds my work boring, so I don't really bother trying to share it with anyone. The fact that Peeta wants to come into my world, wants to see everything I love, touches me. "Of course! That would be fun." I think for a moment. "Maybe I could come into your classroom and watch you teach? I think it would be really cool to see you in act—Oof!"

Peeta crushes me to his chest in a tight hug. When he pulls back, he looks earnestly at me and I can't help but be reminded of a giant puppy. "Really? You think that would be fun? But Katniss, you hate reading!"

"No, I don't really enjoy reading, but I want to see you in action. I want to see what gets you excited, too," I finish bashfully.

Peeta leans in to give me a long kiss. When we break apart he says against my lips, "Looks like we have a date." I begin to lean in for another kiss but Peeta flips me on my back and pounces so he can hover over me. I squeal loudly.

"Now where were we?" he whispers huskily.

_________________________________________________________

It takes almost a week for Peeta and me to finally work out a day when we're both free so that I could take him into the lab. We both agreed that since the majority of my work involves me sitting on my ass while looking through a microscope or jotting down notes on a clipboard, there's really no reason to have Peeta sit there and stare at me while I work. Instead, we found a free afternoon where I could give him a tour of the offices, lab areas, and the greenhouses.

"Holy shit," Peeta whistles as he takes in the large room filled with greenery.

I laugh softly, remembering my own awe when I first came into the University's greenhouses. "Remember, keep your—"

"Keep my gloves on at all times and don't touch anything," Peeta mimics my voice as he finishes my sentence. "Katniss, you've told me like a million times."

I try to scowl at him, but I can't hide the smile that threatens to peek out. "Okay, okay! Come on, let's show you around."

I show Peeta everything. We spend almost an hour looking at the variety of plants, the stages of their development, and the hybrid creations. Peeta seems a little overwhelmed at all the information I'm throwing at him, but he takes it in stride, asking questions about the plants I work with and the hybrids I try to create.

"These look familiar," he says, pointing to an area filled with different berries. He leans in closely to point to one specific patch. "These look like blueberries. Can you eat those?"

I swat his hand away. "That's nightlock, Peeta, you'd be dead in a minute!"

Peeta retracts his hand quickly. "Whoops?" He then gets a mischievous look on his face. "It's a good thing I kept my gloves on at all times and didn't touch anything," he says with a touch of sarcasm.

"Ha-ha. But see, I was right! The one thing you were tempted to touch actually would've killed you."

"My hero. It's a good thing I have you here to protect me," Peeta laughs as he pinches my side.

"Yeah, yeah. Come on, let's finish our tour."

The rest of the tour is pretty uneventful, especially since Peeta doesn't try to manhandle any more poisonous plants. As we leave the lab and begin our walk across campus to Peeta's apartment, Peeta throws his arm around my shoulder and I instantly lean into him, soaking up his warmth on this chilly day. He kisses my temple and mumbles in my hair, "Thank you for showing me your lab."

A slow grin creeps across my face as I look up at him. "I'm glad you invited yourself," I say teasingly.

Peeta just laughs and shrugs. "Yeah, well, what can I say?"

I rise onto the balls of my feet so I can kiss his cheek. "I'm glad you did," I respond as I nuzzle his neck.

We're content to just walk in silence and enjoy each other's company, but when we reach his front door, I suddenly remember something.

"Hey, Peet?" I ask as he fumbles whilst unlocking the door.

"Hmm?" he answers, tongue between his lips as he concentrates on the lock.

"Well, Valentine's Day is a couple days away and I was thinking…would you mind if we skipped the lovey dovey romantic stuff? Finnick told me about this thing, I don't know if you've heard of it, but March 14th—"

Peeta looks up at me with wide, excited eyes and he cuts me off. "I know what March 14th is."

"Okay. Well, I was thinking maybe we could just do all that instead of some cheesy romantic dinner? It sounds like a lot more fun than getting all dressed up and then having sex on a giant pile of rose petals. Besides the petals will get all smushed and it'll be a huge waste and I just don't know if I want to do that." I'm rambling, but I'm a little unsure what he'll say. Peeta is easily the more romantic one out of the two of us, and I can't help but wonder if he'll be disappointed by my casual approach to Valentine's Day.

Peeta finally gets the door unlocked with a grin. Instead of immediately walking into his apartment he pulls me close. "Can we still eat obscene amounts of chocolate?"

I lean in and lightly press our lips together. "Abso-fucking-lutely."

He kisses me deeply and my hands immediately tangle into his hair as he thrusts his tongue into my mouth. I can't help but moan around him, already excited at the prospect of spending hours alone with him in his bedroom. After many blissful minutes Peeta breaks away slightly, his lips ghosting against my own. "Can we still make love on rose petal strewn sheets? Because I don't know if I'm willing to compromise on that one," he asks teasingly.

I snort. "I'm sure that can be arranged."

It seems like almost no time at all before February 14th rolls around. For the past couple of years, Prim and I have had a tradition where I'll spring her from school for a couple hours so that we can get lunch together as a way to make the day fun and special, even if we didn't have valentines. This year, however, is the first year that we both have dates for the evening.

"Are you and Rory doing anything tonight?" I ask between bites of my burger.

Prim blushes in response, which is enough to put my burger back down on my plate and stare at her wide-eyed. "Primrose! What aren't you telling me?"

Prim pushes her fork around on her plate, clearly embarrassed as she mumbles, "Rory and I are going to…do…stuff."

I'm having flashbacks to our conversation on Christmas Eve. She never did tell me what she and Rory decided to do—or not do—but I decided that I'd let her come to me, figuring that if she wanted to talk about it with me, she would. Plus, I'm no good at bringing up this kind of stuff and I'd really prefer to not think of Prim doing the same wickedly delicious things Peeta and I do to each other. Very carefully, I ask, "Oh? What kind of 'stuff?' The kind of 'stuff' we were talking about on Christmas Eve?"

Prim bites her lip and takes a deep breath. "Well, after you and I talked, I kind of realized that maybe I wasn't one hundred percent sure about going all the way with Rory. I mean, like, we've tried some other stuff, but we haven't…you know…with our mouths…" she trails off.

I nod my head. "So you're thinking about doing that with him tonight?" I ask.

Prim blushes and nods her head. "I want to. And I know he really wants to." I snort, because of course Rory wants to. "I'm nervous and excited at the same time. Is that normal?"

She looks so sweet and innocent; as if she's asked me if I'll buy her an ice cream cone after lunch is over. I feel so incredibly uncomfortable and I'm terrified of saying the wrong thing. I smile softly and say, "Of course. It's always a little scary when you try new things. Just…make sure that when you're in the moment you're doing things because you want to do them, not because you feel like you have to."

Prim nods her head and appears to be thinking things over. Out of nowhere she gets out of her chair and lunges at me, crushing my body to hers in a hug. "Thanks, Kat."

After I drop Prim off at school to finish the day, I head to my apartment to do some homework before I meet Peeta at his place for dinner. I manage to get my work done and even find time to do my hair and makeup before it's time for me to walk to Peeta's apartment. Almost immediately after knocking on the front door, it swings open and Peeta greets me with a kiss.

"Whoa, were you waiting by the door for me?" I ask after we break apart.

Peeta grins sheepishly. "Maybe?" I raise my eyebrows at him. "I was watching TV while I waited for you to get here and happened to be standing next to the door."

"Uh huh," I say laughingly. "Alright, Mellark, enough chit-chat. Where's my steak?"

Dinner is absolutely delicious. Peeta and I agreed that even though this whole thing was my idea, having me do the cooking was probably not the best idea. Instead, Peeta took it upon himself to grill prime rib and make mashed potatoes and asparagus to go with it. By the end of the meal I'm so full that I'm slumped in my chair, rubbing my stomach. "Ugh, Peeta, what are you doing to me? That was way too delicious. I think I'm going to need a nap after all that food."

Peeta laughs while he gets up and goes into the kitchen. "So I guess you won't be hungry for chocolate lava cakes and homemade ice cream?" he asks as he holds up a large muffin tin and gestures at the oven.

I immediately sit up straight in my seat. "What are you, nuts? Put those babies in the oven!"

Grinning, Peeta puts the pan into the already heated oven and sets the timer before coming back to the table. Instead of sitting down, Peeta comes over to me and rests his hand against the back of my chair, hovering over me. With his free hand he reaches up to caress my hair. "You look so beautiful tonight," he murmurs against my lips before leaning in to kiss me.

How is it that Peeta's kisses always leave me feeling breathless, yet wanting more? Peeta's lips move to my neck and he gently begins to kiss the spot behind my ear that always makes me moan. My hands move up and down his back as I ask, "Mmm, how long do those take to bake?"

Peeta lightly nips my earlobe. "About ten minutes." I gasp as he begins to lightly knead my breast. "Hmm, what could we possibly do in ten minutes?" he questions.

I raise my eyebrows. "Ten minutes?" Peeta nods against my neck. I take my hand from its place on his back and lightly cup his bulge through his jeans and he groans. "I don't know if I'll be through with you in ten minutes."

I begin to stroke Peeta's length as he lazily kisses my neck, too distracted by the feeling of my hand working him through his jeans to do much else. Suddenly, the lock on the front door jingles and we spring apart just as Johanna walks through the doorway. As soon as he sees who it is, Peeta books it out of Johanna's sight and into the kitchen in an attempt to hide his tented jeans from her.

"Hi, party people!" Johanna greets us. She sniffs the air. "Mmm, what's loverboy cooking? It smells delicious."

"Hey, Johanna," I say warily, blushing from my arousal and horror at being caught. I glance into the kitchen and see Peeta bracing himself against the sink, trying to calm himself down. "Chocolate lava cakes."

Johanna perks up. "Mm, my favorite!" I feel like my face is burning up from the heat of my blush. "Whoa, girl, you look like you're on fire! Did I interrupt something? Is Peeta in the kitchen?" she asks with a devilish look on her face.

"Hi, Johanna," Peeta shouts as I hear him take the cakes out of the oven.

Johanna laughs heartily. "Well, why're ya hiding in there, roomie?" she asks, even though she probably already knows the answer. I look away, embarrassed by her question. "Katniss, you didn't say Peeta was in there! Were you embarrassed?"

"No," I spit out as I look pointedly away from her.

Johanna cackles. "Oh, you are just too pure! I love it."

Peeta comes out of the kitchen with two plates of chocolate lave cake and ice cream, and a quick glance confirms that he's gotten himself under control. "Aren't you supposed to be out with Delly tonight?" he asks, shooting her a look telling her to back off as he places our plates on the table.

Johanna heads into the kitchen and grabs a spoon before dipping into one of the extra lava cakes on the counter. "Yeah, she'll be here to pick me up any minute. I just came home real fast to change my clothes." She shoves a bite in her mouth just as her phone buzzes. "Oh, that'll be her!" she shouts around a mouthful.

I'm about to take a bite of cake when the wicked look on Johanna's face stops me. "I better go change real fast," she says as she whips her shirt off over her head and quickly unclasps her bra, revealing her breasts to Peeta and me. "I'll be right out in a jiffy!" she says cheerily as she walks by us, unbuttoning her jeans as she goes into her room and shuts the door.

My drop my jaw and look over to see Peeta barely containing a grin. I punch him hard on the arm. "Ow!" he yelps.

"How often does she do that?" I hiss. Immediately I'm picturing Johanna walking around the house, naked; hanging out with Peeta, naked; eating Peeta's special lava cakes, naked; fucking Peeta, naked. "How many times have you seen her naked, exactly?"

Peeta rolls his eyes. "Katniss, this was the first time I've ever seen Johanna naked."

I don't believe it. I huff as I push my spoon around my plate, feeling very uninterested in my dessert. Peeta puts his hand over mine as he leans in. "Katniss," he says, seriously. "I promise you, she's never done that before."

I let out a slow exhale. "Then why did she do that?"

Peeta can't help but crack a smile at my question. "Didn't you hear her earlier? Talking about how 'pure' you are? She's probably just messing with you. I'd bet money her little strip show was more for your benefit than it was for mine."

My jaw drops for the second time tonight. "What? I'm not pure!" I say, outraged. "I was practically giving you a hand job when she walked in!"

"Well, yeah, but then you got all embarrassed and red and refused to even look at her."

"So did you!" I sputter out. "You ran off and hid in the kitchen!"

"Because I had a raging hard-on and I didn't think either of us would be too comfortable with her seeing that." Peeta gives me a soft kiss on the lips. "For her, you're pure, but for me, you're perfect. Just forget about Johanna."

"Fine," I say quietly as I pick my spoon up so I can finish my dessert. "I still don't think I'm pure, though," I can't help but say.

"Well we can prove that later tonight, can't we?" Peeta asks as he wiggles his eyebrows.

I can't help but giggle at him. "How—"

I'm interrupted by Johanna's door being thrown open. "Alright, kids, I'm off!" She's wearing a skintight red halter dress and stilettos. She adjusts her cleavage as she walks, fluffing her breasts up so that they're practically spilling out of her dress. "Delly's treating me to a night on the town, so I probably won't be home tonight," she says as she grabs a coat from the closet. "Bye, Peeta! Goodbye my innocent little Katniss flower!"

She slams the front door shut behind her. I'm fuming. Peeta turns and looks to me hopefully. "Bedroom?"

I stand up and whip my shirt off over my head. "Abso-fucking-lutely." I throw my shirt at Peeta as I saunter into his bedroom. "Coming?" I ask over my shoulder.

I hear Peeta scramble to stand and catch up with me. I laugh as he lightly pushes me into his bedroom and locks the door behind him. He moves to the bed, but I put a hand on his chest and push him up against the door. "Not yet, Mellark." I drop to my knees as I begin to undo his belt buckle. "Do you remember what the other part of tonight is?"

Peeta's mouth hangs open and he's breathing heavily as he nods. I shoot him a playful look as I push his pants to the ground. I begin to palm him through his underwear as I ask, "Would you care to enlighten me?" I place a soft kiss on his erection.

"Katniss," he sighs as he threads his fingers through my hair. I lightly kiss the area above his boxer briefs whilst running my hands up and down his thighs, squeezing his ass, touching him everywhere but his erection. "Kat, please," he whimpers when I pull the elastic waistband of his underwear down and lick a trail from hipbone to hipbone.

I squeeze his ass with both hands and give him a wicked look. His eyes are bright and filled with lust as he stares down at me. I bite my lip as I push his boxer briefs down to puddle onto the floor. His erection juts out at me, the tip leaking with his arousal, and I lick my lips in anticipation. I reach out and grab him, holding him steady while take him into my mouth.

There's a dull thud and I look up to see Peeta's head thrown back against the door, his fingers tightening in my hair. I release him from my mouth and move my focus to his testicles, lightly palming them in my hands. I lean forward and lightly suck one of them in my mouth before licking my way over to the other. "Fuck, Katniss," Peeta hisses.

I can't help but grin. I kiss my way back to his shaft and flatten my tongue while I lick the underside of his erection. Lightly gripping it in my hand, I take him in my mouth and begin to bob my head. Peeta is panting lightly and I know he's close. I hum around his erection as I tug gently on his testicles and seconds later I can feel his come hitting the back of my throat as he comes with a shout. I lick him clean while he comes down from his high. He gently pulls me up to stand next to him. My knees are a little sore, but I know I'll never tell him that.

He leans in and gives me a sloppy kiss. "That was so awesome. I haven't come that hard in a while."

I grin as I pull him over to the bed. He's still a little dazed from his orgasm, so it's easy to push him to lie down. He raises an eyebrow as he watches me strip in front of him. Part of me, the part that is still irritated with Johanna's display, wants to make this as enjoyable for Peeta as possible. I play a little with my buttons and make a show about bending over to take my pants off. When I'm completely naked, I crawl up his body so that I'm on all fours, hovering over him. Peeta looks up at me, his blues eyes intrigued and lustful, but still so full of love. My hair curtains around him as I lean down and ghost my lips over his. "You know how much I love you, right?" I ask.

Peeta sighs as he kisses me. "I think I'm beginning to understand."

I smile against his lips and I know that I want to spend every possible day showing him just how much he's loved. A year ago, a thought like this might have scared me; this idea of loving someone so intensely and wholeheartedly would have sent me running. All I have to do is look at Peeta to know that this pure, deep longing I feel for him could never make me run away, that I'll never run away from him again. I feel so complete and so full of this indescribable warmth, this rush of love that is just so Peeta, within my heart, that I just can't imagine anything better than this.

"Good," I say simply against his lips and kiss him soundly.

_________________________________________________________

Peeta and I stayed up most of the night, touching and kissing one another. I got to sleep in, but poor Peeta only got a couple hours of sleep in before he had to go teach. Feeling bad about the long morning he'll inevitably have, I decide to bring him some takeout during his lunch break. I'm cleaning up the remnants of our meal when I feel his arms wrap around my waist from behind. "Did I tell you how much fun I had last night?" he asks as he nuzzles my neck.

I lightly grind my hips back into his crotch. "Maybe," I reply playfully.

Peeta groans and steps away from me. "I can't do that here," he says as he looks me up and down with a reproachful look on his face.

Grinning, I throw the trash away. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure they fire teachers who have hard-ons in the middle of class."

Peeta's snort is hidden behind the ringing of the bell. "I'll see you after school?" he questions as he leans in to hug me.

"Actually, I was wondering if today might be a good day for me to sit in and watch you teach?"

Peeta's eyes light up. "Really? You were serious before about wanting to watch me teach?"

As I hug Peeta back, I'm reminded of the conversation we had about his mother during Christmas Break. He probably isn't used to having someone who is interested and supportive of his career choice. Sure, his father is probably proud of him and I'm sure his brothers are happy for his success, but his family isn't the type to show an active and engaged interest in one another. When it comes to his career, Peeta really is on his own. "Yes," I state firmly. "I'm proud of you and all your accomplishments this year. I want to see you in your element, with your books and students and drunk mentor."

Peeta pulls back and grins. "I love you. You know that, right?"

"Yes," I reply simply. "Now go let your students in, they're all probably waiting outside."

Peeta gives me a quick kiss on the nose as he strides across the room to let his students in. I spot a seat in the back of the class and quietly make my way over. I watch Peeta chat with his students as they take their seats and get out their homework. He high-fives some cheerleaders and tells them how great they were at the pep rally before walking over to one of the quieter students sitting in the corner, asking him how his morning has been.

It's impressive to me—someone who feels so awkward talking to people I don't know—to see Peeta in action. He really knows his students, knows the right questions to ask to get them excited. It doesn't matter if they're a football player or one of the nerdiest looking girls; everyone gets a smile from Peeta.

By the time the final bell rings to signal the start of class, everyone is in their seats and looks to Peeta as he begins the class. "Good afternoon, everyone! I hope you're not all too full from lunch to continue yesterday's discussion of Chapter 11 of Pride and Prejudice."

Really, I couldn't care less about Pride and Prejudice, yet I find myself watching Peeta with rapt fascination. I love his gestures when he talks and the way his students laugh at his goofy jokes. I love hearing him make fun of Darcy and Elizabeth. I love the way he reads the text "You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you" because it feels as though he's saying it directly to me.

When one of the students reads an excerpt, Peeta looks to me and seems surprised to find my eyes on him. He smiles gently and I can't help but mouth "I love you" to him. The look on Peeta's face makes me melt, his smile bright and eyes beaming. Our moment is broken when I hear a student ask, "Mr. Mellark, why does the narrator note…"

I don't hear the rest. All I can see is Peeta's kind face as he listens to the question. My gaze shifts to the button up shirt he's wearing and I remember that it's a favorite of mine to wear to bed. His khaki pants hug his ass so well; it's the only thing I can look at while he writes on the board. I don't know how these kids are paying attention to anything he's saying. If my high school teacher was that hot, I don't think I would've paid any attention to any of my classes. Peeta catches my gaze and gives me a subtle wink, and I realize that he's caught me checking him out.

I don't even care.

I've got the hots for teacher.


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, remember me? I am so sorry about the wait! This IS the epilogue to Hot for Teacher and I am feeling very bittersweet about posting it. I worked so hard to FINALLY finish it, but I have to say I'm sad to see it go! The past couple of months have been insanely stressful and difficult for me, making it very difficult for me to find the inspiration and motivation to write. Thank you everyone for your kind messages and reviews, I so greatly appreciate all of them and am grateful to all of the wonderful friends I have in this community. A few orders of business.
> 
> 1\. I will be posting a Gadge one-shot set in the HFT universe later this week, so please check my profile or soamazinghere's tumblr.
> 
> 2\. If you haven't already, please consider donating to Smut 2 Save Lives. It is a wonderful organization. I am happy to report that I will be donating an Everlark one-shot from the HFT universe, so if you feel yourself missing Katniss and Peeta, all you have to do is donate.
> 
> 3\. I can't post this chapter without thanking pookieh and soamazinghere. I am so grateful for the friendship I have found in both of you and for the support you've given me. Hot for Teacher would not exist without the two of you and I thank you both for your hard work. 3
> 
> ENJOY!

I wake up to the feel of something tickling my shoulder. Groaning, I try and swat it away and roll over, colliding into something very solid. I blearily open an eye and see Peeta looking down at me. "Good morning, sunshine," he chuckles. "Happy Birthday."

I manage a sleepy smile as I snuggle deeper into Peeta. "Thank you. I almost forgot it was my birthday."

Peeta scoffs. "What? You mean I kept you up last night for hours of birthday sex fun for nothing? Ungrateful wench."

I grin to myself as I remember what happened last night in bed.

Peeta grinds against my center and it feels so good, so deliciously wonderful, that I feel like I could come just from this sensation alone. He is completely naked and I can feel the tip of his erection against my soaked panties. "Fuck, Katniss, I can feel how wet you are through your underwear," Peeta moans in my ear, rolling his hips against mine to enunciate his point.

Those words are my undoing and I feel myself shatter against him, my body shuddering, my thighs trembling. "Again, Katniss?" he asks incredulously.

Poor Peeta, I've already come twice, once while he was fingering me and then again just now. I'm about to rip my panties off, hoping for orgasm number three, when I remember something. I push Peeta off me and hurry to throw on my robe.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You're leaving now?" he asks, mouth agape as he lies sprawled out across my bed.

"I'll be right back, promise!" I reassure him. I'm still on antibiotics from the flu I just got over, so I know Peeta and I won't be able to rely on my birth control pills for protection like we usually do. I quickly slip out of my room and tip toe into Finnick's empty one in search of a condom. I open the drawer of his bedside table, hoping I'll find what I need. I am disgusted and mildly confused by what I find in there.

First of all, there's a box of condoms so large that I don't even think Costco would carry it. The box displays pictures of condoms I couldn't even have dreamt of. There are some very strange looking sex toys and what looks to be a lock of Annie's hair. I almost turn around and leave when I accidentally find pictures of them in the act, Annie's body twisted in ways I didn't think were humanly possible. "Good Lord, Finn," I mutter as I struggle to find the most uninteresting looking condom I can, which is difficult considering I keep finding condoms I didn't even know existed. Finally, I locate a strip of relatively normal looking ones. "Gotcha!" I shout. As I hurry back to my bedroom, I try to shove the mental images of that godforsaken drawer away.

I open the door to find Peeta in almost the same position I left him in.

"Here to finish me off, sweetheart?" he asks, clearly annoyed that I left him so aroused, his erection straining towards the ceiling.

"Yep," I say as I drop my robe and throw the condoms on to the bed. "Sorry about that, I had to go into Finn's room and steal these for us."

Peeta looks confused at first, but then understanding lights up his features. "Got it."

Smiling, I prop myself up on my elbows. "You keep me up most nights, even when it isn't my birthday," I remind him playfully.

Peeta gives me a roguish grin. "Well, yeah, that's true," he replies sheepishly as he gets up. He lightly slaps me on the ass and says, "Come on, birthday girl, we've got to get going! Didn't Prim say to be at your mom's place by two?"

I groan and bury myself under the covers. "Peeta," I whine. "That's not for two more hours! Why do I have to get up now? Oof!" I huff out as I feel Peeta sit down on my butt. He leans forward and whispers in my ear, "Because you need a shower and I want plenty of time to fuck my girlfriend in that hot, steamy bathroom."

I noticeably perk up. "Lead the way."

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Katniss! Happy Birthday! I'm so glad you're here, what took you so long?" my mother asks as she ushers Peeta and me inside the house.

I can't help but blush as I look over to Peeta's shit-eating grin. I know I can't respond with, Well, Mom, Peeta was so busy fucking me in the shower and then later against my desk that we just completely lost track of time. Whoops! I stumble with my words for a second before Peeta comes to my rescue.

"It was my fault, Mrs. Everdeen," he inserts smoothly. "I remembered that Katniss and I missed the last couple episodes of Big Bang Theory, and we lost track of time watching them."

Nailed it. I shoot Peeta a grateful grin over my mother's shoulder.

"Oh, that's no trouble, Peeta," she says graciously. "Now that you're here though, would you mind giving me a hand in the kitchen?"

"Sure thing," he responds easily.

"Katniss, dear, why don't you go upstairs and get your sister?" my mother asks as she shepherds Peeta into the kitchen.

"Prim," I call out as I climb the stairs and approach my sister's room.

"Just a minute!" she shouts through the wall. "Don't come in yet!"

I grimace. "Please, please, please don't tell me you have Rory in there with you." I'm cringing already.

"Ugh, no! I'm wrapping your present and I don't want you to see it! I'll be down in a minute."

I smile to myself as I think about Prim wrapping my present. Despite her best efforts, Prim's wrap jobs always turn out disastrous, no matter how many ribbons or bows she uses. "Alright, Primmy, I'll be downstairs."

"Yeah, yeah, take a hike, birthday girl," she shouts playfully through the door.

I head downstairs and into the kitchen and start grabbing handfuls of the chips and vegetables that my mother has set out. I'm about to shove the snacks into my mouth when my mother reaches over and slaps my hand away.

"Honestly, Katniss, can't you wait for everyone to get here? You were lounging around on the couch all morning, it's not like you did anything to work up an appetite!"

A blush sweeps across my cheeks and out of the corner of my eye I see Peeta choke a little on his water. "Peeta, dear, are you okay?" my mother asks, her concern written all over her face.

Thankfully, the doorbell rings. "I'll get it!" Peeta and I shout simultaneously as we hurry to the front door.

The rest of the afternoon passes by in a blur. Without me even realizing how it happened, my home ends up bustling and full. Even a year ago I would've felt a little overwhelmed by the sheer number of people around me, but I actually find myself rather at ease, finding joy in scarfing down three hotdogs in a row (to my mother's shock and consternation), listening to my mother berate Finnick for forgetting to bring back her Tupperware, and watching Prim and Peeta jump on the old trampoline together.

Eventually everyone trickles outside, either talking or hanging out on the swing set that Prim and I used to play on. When I walk back into the kitchen to get another drink, I see my mother putting the finishing touches on my birthday cake.

"That's a pretty cake, mom."

She looks up and blows a wisp of hair out of her face. "Well, Peeta did do quite a bit of the decorating," she admits. "I couldn't quite get the flowers to turn out well and Finnick ate most of the frosting I was going to use…" she trails off.

"I love it," I say and I find that I mean it. It's obvious where Peeta stepped in and helped, but for the most part it's a simple cake, reminiscent of the ones she made for me when I was a little girl.

My mother smiles as she puts the utensils she was using in the sink. "Peeta's a good boy. I'm not surprised though, his father was very sweet."

"You knew Peeta's father?" I ask, surprised at this new information. To my even greater surprise, my mother blushes.

"I dated him," she confides.

"What?!"

"Mhmmm," she responds. "You know, in a lot of ways Gale reminds me of him."

Now I'm not only surprised, I'm confused. "Huh? How on earth does Gale remind you of Peeta's dad?"

My mother shrugs her shoulders. "Bann and I were friends for a very long time and cared deeply for one another, but there just wasn't any…zing for me. He wasn't the one who could really make me happy, not in the way I needed. Know what I mean?"

I nod, understanding filling me. "I do," I quietly confirm.

"I'm glad you're with Peeta. Don't get me wrong, Gale is a lovely boy and I'm sure he would've been very good to you, he just isn't what you need."

Frankly, I'm a little shocked to hear my mother say all this; I had no idea how much attention she really paid to me or my personal life. "Yeah, you're right, mom." It sounds lame, but I really don't know what else to say.

It seems to be enough. "Well, I think I should get this cake outside so we can all sing to you. You'll be out in a minute, yes?" she questions, the moment clearly over.

"Let me get a drink first, I'll be out in a minute."

My mother nods as she carries the cake outside. I grab a drink from the fridge as I ruminate over my conversation with my mother. Distractedly, I make my way over to the sliding glass door, happy to take a moment to just stand and watch what's happening outside.

As I sip my drink I look out to the backyard where a soccer game has started. Madge squeals when Gale sneaks up from behind and picks her up off the ground in an attempt to steal the ball from her. Finnick has Posy on his back and she screams in his ear as he sprints across the yard. Prim tries hard to block the shot from Finnick, but the ball lands squarely in the goal.

I even invited Delly and Johanna, who I'm sure would've dominated the game. Granted, neither could come since Johanna had surprised Delly with a pre-Finals weekend away by the beach. She tried to act like their first trip together as a couple wasn't a big deal, but Peeta and I couldn't help but tease her for being such a romantic. Smiling, I look at the "Happy Birthday" text they sent me this morning, complete with a picture of them making funny faces on the beach.

"That's a good picture of them," Peeta murmurs in my ear as he leans over my shoulder to look at my phone.

"Mmm." I hum as I lean into him, his arms automatically wrapping around me. "How did you manage to sneak up on me, I thought you were outside?"

"Bathroom," he replies. Peeta presses a kiss to my temple and I'm struck with a feeling I've had many times before; a feeling of absolute contentment, gratitude, and love for the man behind me. Afraid of letting this feeling go, of letting it slip away too far too fast, I feel the need to say something, anything to communicate these feelings to him. I remember my promise to myself to make sure Peeta knows how loved he is. "Thank you… for staying with me," I finish lamely, unable to properly articulate what I'm feeling.

Peeta gives me a quizzical look as he turns me in his arms and searches my face. I'm sure he's wondering where this is coming from and all I can do is earnestly look back and hope that he knows what I meant. He must find what he's looking for in my blushing face, because his blue eyes light up as if from within and his mouth breaks into a beaming smile. He leans in and gives me a chaste kiss. "Always."

I can't help myself as I lean into him, kissing him deeply and slipping my tongue into his mouth to tangle with his. Peeta groans appreciatively and his arms tighten around me before he pushes me away. "Hey!" I whine.

"If you start this now I'm not going to want to stop," Peeta warns before he kisses the tip of my nose. "Plus, I don't think you're going to want your family watching you climb me like a tree."

Embarrassed, I look down to my shoes as I blush and mutter, "I wasn't climbing you like a tree."

Peeta's hands bracket my cheeks as he gently lifts my face to look at him. I would think him very serious looking if it wasn't for the twinkle in his eye. "Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it."

I shiver slightly as I lean in to kiss him once more. Before my hands can stray, Peeta gently pushes me back with a slight chuckle. "Alright, alright. You've got a point," I'm forced to admit.

Who am I? This girl so desperate for her boyfriend she practically mounts him within sight of her mother, sister, and friends? I shake my head as I think about how different I am, now that I've fallen so completely for Peeta, this man who's able to bring out parts of me I didn't even know were there.

Peeta must see the cogs turning in my head because he says, "Well, there's just this and then we can go home. Then they can't watch us all the time." I feel a sort of shiver run through me, but there's no time to dwell on it because I can hear my mother calling me out to the patio, shouting that it's time for birthday cake. The soccer game breaks up and everyone heads to the small table my mom has set up.

"Happy Birthday, Katniss," Peeta whispers before lightly nipping my ear.

I feel my thighs clench together as a shot of fire runs through me, but I know that if I don't go into backyard right now I'll end up jumping Peeta. "Thanks babe," I whisper back. I twine our fingers together before I open the glass door to the patio.

"Were you guys making out again?" Prim teases as we step outside.

By the smirks on my friends' faces, I can tell that they witnessed Peeta and I kissing. Blushing and unable to come up with a retort, I stick out my tongue.

"Come on now, ladies," my mother scolds but with a slight smile on her face. "How old are you two?"

"Yeah, ladies, act your age," Finnick jumps in with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Don't think I didn't see you swiping at the frosting earlier, Finnick Odair! I had to have Peeta fix it when he got here," my mother says with an eye roll and a light smack to Finnick's chest.

"Guess we know who the new favorite is," Annie quips quietly.

"Alright, alright, let's just sing," Finnick says loudly over the laughter at his expense.

I smile as my friends begin to sing, "Happy Birthday to you…"


End file.
